Does anyone have some tips for online dating, or how you can be more successful with it

testudinidae · 2013-10-19T07:17:40+00:00

deleted

sedditdee · 2013-10-19T01:30:52+00:00

A few tips from my experience --

do NOT browse other guys' profiles. They're having as much trouble as you are finding a woman, so that is the opposite of a useful model to emulate.
do NOT browse women's criteria for men. Women, especially those in online dating, are doing no better than the men. Plus, they tend to have what I call "Prince Charming Syndrome", where they list fairytale qualities about men who they could never attain in real life. It's like Keyboard Jockeying for Women.
for every profile photo that you see, realize that the woman has probably spent an inordinately long time posing and/or selecting that picture. It is probably old, out of date, Photoshopped/Inistagrammed beyond recognition, or at least ten to fifteen pounds less than what she looks like now. And if she appears to be wearing any makeup at all, it's probably a lot more than you think.
on a scale of one to ten, dock every woman at least two points for her looks until you've met in person.
likewise, most women online receive tons of messages from guys. This gives them an inflated sense of value, which results in them increasing their Internet Attractiveness by at least two points out of ten. Recognize that average-looking women can now pretend to be hot and bitchy, and usually they will. The problem is that if you ramp up your game accordingly, you'll blow them out because they'll get insecure and act even more bitchy. The best approach is to communicate that you understand the game in your profile -- not in the first message, because by then it's usually too late.
use heaping doses of humour in your profile wherever you can, particularly in acknowledgment of the fact that online dating is awkward and weird, and most importantly, she's doing online dating, too. This eliminates the "woman on a pedestal" game that many women will try to play after receiving hundreds of generic "ur pretty" messages from desperate Nice Guys.
do not self-deprecate -- meaning that you'll want to mention your best qualities without trash-talking yourself in the name of being "humble". Forget "humble". Also do not write a resume and pretend that it's an online dating profile. If you brag about how rich or high-status you are, women will use you accordingly.
do not ever compliment a woman's looks. Never, ever mention her "eyes" or her "smile"; she knows that you mean her boobs, anyway.
challenge her every time she tries to test you. If she writes a one-sentence answer, tell her to write more. If she tells you that you're too direct or "intense", tease her.
most importantly, make it abundantly clear that her looks mean absolutely nothing to you, and that you'll gladly go find the next one of the thousands of cute-looking women online. This is both true and puts her on notice that the game is different online. It's not a singles bar or club; she will have to contribute in order to hold your attention.
if she doesn't write back to you within 24 hours, move on and forget about her completely. If/when she does write back, make it clear that you remember absolutely nothing about her and that she will have to remind you of something interesting about her to jog your memory.
if her profile is generic and/or empty, realize that she most likely is only online to get attention from random men. Don't waste your time with boring profiles or women who complain about online dating, or those who brag about how "sexy" they are, or those who try to force men to supplicate in the Nice Guy role. Women who have nothing original to write are there to use men as disposable entertainment. Unless you're a dancing monkey sitting in front of the keyboard, that type of woman will only waste your time.
take your time with messaging. If the woman wants to meet you immediately, see that as a red flag. On that note, state in your profile that you don't pay for a woman's meal on the first date because you're both strangers getting to know each other. This will deter gold-diggers and dinner-whores, and attract women who recognize that you're not a desperate Nice Guy like all the others.
if she immediately asks intrusively private questions like "what do you do for a living" or "where do you live", realize that she is most likely either a gold-digger, conversationally inept, or someone who has otherwise not earned your trust. This is the Internet; women love to shame men in the multitude of blogs about "creepy guys who messaged me in online dating" or give the most privacy-violating details possible about bad first dates. Often such blogs are replete with personal information about men (where you live, what you look like, and even your name), and that information could be used to identify you later. Take extreme care regarding who you tell personal details about yourself in online dating; it's better not to use messaging for any details that are truly private at all.
keep zero expectations about online dating in general. Don't get sucked into the "lottery mentality" that browsing endless smiling profile photos can encourage. The next woman you see is probably a lot more like the previous few hundred than you'd like to believe. Rather than spend two hours in online dating, spend two hours in real life where there are women who you can actually meet in person.
the older the women are, the more likely there is a very, very good reason why she's single. Any woman over 30 most likely has at least one "quirk" that you'll want to know about before you meet. If you don't know what it is by then, tread very carefully before investing your emotions or your wallet in anyone you meet online. The tendency to lie and omit is almost irresistible, particularly for women who have something to hide that is keeping them from finding a guy. Or more precisely, something that is warding off all the guys who such a woman has tried to keep.

I've written a series of fairly in-depth blogs about my experiences with online dating, but those are the basic tips from the top of my head.

letsgocrazy · 2013-10-19T02:07:57+00:00

One bit of advice I have is this:

Be honest even if you know it's going to rule out a hell of a lot of women.

They know when you're trying to be as general and pandering as possible and it's not attractive.

If you only like women who like art and dislike people who are into sports then say it.

You'll rule out the sports fans (which is fine because you're not into it, no point trying for a shag in vain) But the arty girls will see your description and say "That's me".

When you're selective it also shows confidence and higher value.

Don't be rude, or cruel or condescending.

Just be honest. You're not going to get turned down and everyone will appreciate not wasting one another's time. There are loads of profiles, so don't worry.

donit · 2013-10-19T02:54:20+00:00

Seduction is seduction, whether it's online, in person or over text. The rules are all the same, and the main one is: feed out validation slowly and wait for them to earn it.

2013-10-19T16:18:25+00:00

/r/okcupid might help be helpful

billinga · 2013-10-25T00:35:31+00:00

In this day and age where everyone is busy, busy, busy, I feel online dating has its place. It's private, convenient and obviously works. All one has to do is look around and see the numerous sites related to online dating.

stan3186 · 2013-10-28T12:45:17+00:00

Why online date, that's not going to satisfy what you and all other guys actually desire. Most women online are just trying to stroke their egos by getting hundreds of compliments on their looks. Pretty shallow people. Try meeting people in person.. Go to some bars or clubs or some social events where there are real people. Then you can work on your seduction techniques. Try implementing some of the techniques on this website. ConquerThem dot com

billinga · 2013-10-28T14:54:45+00:00

Here's a tip I can pass on. I tried online dating (after) I purchased an ebook that was highly referred to me. I started applying the methods I learned from reading the book and now, after reading only 50 of the 100 pages of the book, I now have women chasing me rather than the other way round! For the first time in a long time, I had a hot girl I met at work start texting me…! Felt great to sit there playing the text game with ease because she was doing all the chasing… I’m blown away at how effective it is. It’s given me the confidence in my game knowing the subtle ways I have been going wrong so far in my life with women.

janeaustin20113 · 2013-11-18T07:15:15+00:00

online dating is secure and comfortable. one only have to be very careful when looking for any online dating site.. i have found love of my life through datingmadeeasy.com.....the most important tip for getting a true and reliable partner is to be honest and do not pretend anything what you are not actually...

relationshipanswers · 2013-12-08T09:03:40+00:00

You need to have a recent profile picture.

you can take a look at the other profiles on the dating website, and learn from the way they have written their profile description. Remember to be completly honest.

When you are contacting others try asking about something that they have in their description. This will result in them checking out your profile and if they like what they see you will get a answer back.

In your first contact dont ask for a date just ask about something in their profile or complement them for something.

Hope it helps you out!

This is a dating website where you can find local girls and boys to date in your area:

http://yournewpartner.net

reneezillweggar · 2013-12-16T02:35:38+00:00

your profile and pictures are the key to success when it comes to your online dating sites. :) search person who shares the same interest with you.

htpp://effortlessdating.net

rufusjonz · 2013-10-19T01:12:26+00:00

onine dating is harder than it used to be in my view -- cute women get flooded with 100s from married guys and everyone else -- match worked for me in the past for both quick hookups and finding a couple gfs

hyperInTheDiaper · 2013-10-19T10:25:20+00:00

Don't really have tips to share (since in our country online dating doesn't really work and is usually considered last resort), but I did enjoy this video I came across a few days ago http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating.html You might get an idea or two from there

HokumGelpTexas · 2013-10-19T11:30:04+00:00

I'm too lazy to read the other responses here, but here's what works for me:

Reference something in her profile. Most guys just send messages like, "What's up?" or "Ur hawt. Let's meet." By referencing her profile, you show that you are actually messaging her because you liked her, not just her looks.

Remember that if your initial message is read, she's going to check out your profile. Make sure it's tight. There's a lot of good advice over at /r/OKCupid to help you tighten it up and avoid cliches.

If she sends you a decent, in depth reply, get her number right away. Don't waste too much time in back and forth messaging. OKC is about meeting people, not another site to chat on. I usually just respond to her message and add in, "Let's meet up for drinks and see if we click. Send my your number and I'll text you." I've only not got a number one time, but I still ended up meeting her.

Here's one final thing that's kind of blown me away. In the past, I used to always send out a confirmation text the day of. And later, I'd get flake texts. This time around, I haven't sent any confirmation texts, and only one girl flaked on me. (Of course, she sent me a text about it a couple of hours before the meet.) I'm a little baffled by this, but fuck it, it works. Maybe confirmation texts seem needy? Who knows.

johnnynoname12 · 2013-10-19T11:47:49+00:00

here's my tip (and i'll preface by saying that it isn't popular): don't online date

there are a myriad of reasons why you should be "anti-online dating" but I don't have the time and the internet doesnt have the bandwidth

just DON'T DO IT

CJ090 · 2013-10-19T15:53:01+00:00

Just don't do it

Title	Does anyone have some tips for online dating, or how you can be more successful with it
Author	somedudesomewhere1
Upvotes	13
Comments	16
Date	October 19, 2013 12:22 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1oqzyc/does_anyone_have_some_tips_for_online_dating_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-anyone-have-some-tips-for-online-dating-or.1298075 https://theredarchive.com/post/1298075

Comments