Does having sex change a person?

IPlayUkulele · 2013-07-06T04:18:50+00:00

I'm 20, and I lost my V card about 5 months ago. Honestly, it wasn't a big deal. However, the realization that it wasn't a big deal was a pretty big deal. After that, I was able to mentally knock women off of the pedestal I had put them on for so many years. It wasn't necessarily a confidence boost - just a reality check.

The reality is that women are just people, man.

I am horrible at talking to ~~women~~ people.

Just start from the beginning, man. Work on improving yourself into the person you want to be and just start talking to people. You got this.

o0rly · 2013-07-06T00:29:08+00:00

Short answer, no.

But in theory it could perhaps give you more confidence around women. But that's just because you now see how little having sex mattered for who you where.

I know it made me less anxious about the whole getting laid thing.

Don't rush it, the only one who cares is you.

watermelonpickle · 2013-07-06T03:59:27+00:00

Honestly, all it's gotten me is it's easier to talk about sex and techniques when you actually have some reference points, I've yet to have sex since quitting my anti-depressants but in my experience the sex itself wasn't that great for me, what was great was the foreplay and afterwards just feeling accomplished and desired. Maybe it was the meds messing with the way my body gets aroused but I really just enjoy the feeling of being wanted.

rjrocklan · 2013-07-06T02:45:43+00:00

It'll probably give you more confidence. Once you loss your v-card, a lot of the "mystery" surrounding women will disappear. You'll get better at talking with them and become more confident.

Lastly, good things don't come to those who wait. Good things come to those who take action. Go out this weekend and try talking to some girls. Even a small step, like opening two girls on Saturday night, is a step in the right direction.

R.J. Rocklan

Hey_Gonzo · 2013-07-06T19:03:04+00:00

Nope, not really. You might have missed and earlier thread on askreddit. While you would have the advantage to feel more comfortable the next time you're in the position to have sex with a woman.

Honestly dude, the first two girls I had sex with wasn't really worth it for me and didn't really change me except for maybe knowing a thing or two and being less nervous with the next girl that I slept with

recyclablebantha · 2013-07-07T08:32:15+00:00

22 Year Old Virgin Here, ive been told numerous times in my life that having sex would change my way of speaking to women, make me feel more confident, and open to new things.

Yeah, another vote here for sex not changing those things you've listed. It doesn't increase your game by over 9000 or anything like that. Whatever you were before, that's pretty much what you'll be afterwards.

Caveat: If you've placed a certain importance on having sex, or on having sex for the first time, then sex will have an effect but what that effect is, is determined by what your expectations and beliefs are on the subject.

But i've always went the old route in waiting for something worth waiting for...

This is a poor way to go. It's far too easy to become a bitter person if you go this route. Especially if it starts to feel like no one else was "waiting for you". Then you'll have a crisis on your hands as you struggle to figure out why no one has been waiting for you before they even met you.

This is why, despite a romantic streak, I went out of my way to lose my virginity in a sleazy way, just to get it out of my system so I could look at dating with a clear mind and dump the baggage of wanting something super duper special.

Bearmanoftheboard · 2013-07-06T09:01:00+00:00

Dude, if sex didn't change people, do you think it would be the subject of nearly every movie, tv show, song and book? Why do hoodels have a job and porn makes up 70% of the internet and why you are on this reddit right now.

Sex is why we exist and it definitely changes people for the better on the whole.

Go out, get laid and join humanity in what is one of the best things about life. Enjoy!

Skittles_N_Vodka · 2013-07-06T04:33:57+00:00

Punctuation, bro. I thought this was about being a tranny.

NoSpringChicken · 2013-07-06T10:32:24+00:00

When I first lost my card, I didn't really think about it in a deep way. I just kept thinking how great it was and that I'll have to do it again soon. What changed me was that I looked at it and thought to myself, okay, it happened once, it'll happen again, and all of a sudden I started talking to one of the waitresses at a restaurant I used to work at and one thing led to another in such a brief amount of time.

What I feel like it taught me was this, the best thing for helping you boost your confidence is success. Success breeds confidence. If it happened before and you're feeling great about yourself, it'll happen again! But when you don't succeed, and it happens consistently, you go the opposite direction. And that is when it gets really hard to dig yourself out of the hole you dug. Because just as much as success breeds confidence, even just trying and failing consistently as my case has been, failure breeds failure.

For me, I haven't had a date in over a year. Finally had my first one two days ago and 5 min after the date, she texted me saying she didn't see it going any further. Then for the 4th of July, this other girl and I were supposed to meet and watch the fireworks together. No call, no text, no clue, totally stood up. It's hard to bounce back when you're met with consistent failures. I think I'll probably be heading back into being a hermit again because now honestly, it's not the loneliness anymore that gets me, it's the consistent, regular letdown time and time again. Because if it happened before, it'll probably happen again on the next one. And its just very out of character for me simply because in everything else I do, I'm an optimist. My friends and family all would describe me as this happy guy, but when it comes to girls it is just the exact opposite. I've seen what negativity can do to somebody's life, mainly mine, and I knew I had to change it. It just hasn't transferred over with the girls...

Title	Does having sex change a person?
Author	LymeMN
Upvotes	16
Comments	19
Date	July 6, 2013 12:10 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hpzer/does_having_sex_change_a_person/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-having-sex-change-a-person.1305192 https://theredarchive.com/post/1305192

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