If you are rejected or placed in the friend zone, you should never pretend that you want to be friends, or attempt to maintain the friendship if you still have feelings. It almost always leads to resentment, and the friendship ultimately ends under bad circumstances. The best thing you can do is be upfront and honest in a direct, centered, respectful manner.

The last thing you want to do is go further down the rabbit hole of your feelings, attempt to change her mind, or worst of all, get resentful and lash out, which is the weakest response of all.

You want to convey that this is something that doesn’t shake you, you have your own self worth and boundaries, and you will move on without her. Here is an example:

“Hey, I appreciate your honesty. I just want to be upfront with you as well. Right now, I’m not interested in just having a friendship. To pretend otherwise would be dishonest. I deserve to have someone who makes me a priority. For now, it’s best that we have some distance so the feelings can fade a bit. You’re a wonderful person and I respect you enough to be honest with you. I wish you the best.”

The key here is the last sentence. Saying you wish her the best reiterates that she will likely not see you very much moving forward. If you say you hope things change or you see her soon, you are implying that you will still be there when she calls.

Words are one thing, but you must follow through. If you state your boundaries and fold, you will continue to a secondary priority for another person, simply there for attention and validation.