The source of all frustration -- even anger! -- is when your expectations do not match your reality. That basketball shot you thought was going to go in gets blocked. That light bulb you were replacing breaks in your hand. That girl you were hoping to get a date with says she's not interested. And then you end up punching a wall, or throwing your cell phone, or kicking a dog... it solves nothing and only gives you another thing to feel bad about.

The fact is, when these things happen, you had an expectation: you thought your shot was perfect, but you didn't see the defender going up for the block; you didn't notice that you were over-tightening that light bulb; or regardless of how perfect you think your approach was, the girl you talked to just simply has other things on her mind right now and doesn't want a date with you.

Too many of you are building up some fictional expectation in your minds about girls you have your eyes on. And the longer you delay making a move, the more expectations you allow to build up in your mind, creating a crippling fear of rejections -- your mind unconsciously knows that the approach could destroy that expectation!

The important thing is to take two important steps:

  1. Make that move early. Get the feedback as soon as possible, so that you have the desired answer with as little time as possible to create a fictional expectation in your mind... and
  2. Adjust your expectations all the time! Every time you get new data, accept it and use it!

When your expectations do not match your reality, there are only two things you can do: either change your expectations, or change reality. One of those is far more difficult than the other. I see you guys ask "how can I get this girl's attention back?" or "what can I do to make her interested in me?" These things are attempts to change reality! Do you realize how much quicker you could get through life if you just changed your expectations? Accept that this girl isn't interested, and move on to finding one who is!