Failed

airsoft6398 · 2017-01-29T16:51:21+00:00

In the words of Gary Vaynerchuk, "If you lack optimism, it's Game over."

Don't lose hope my friend, you can't win them all. Keep trying and improve on areas that you are aware are lacking.

Mindsink · 2017-01-29T17:18:00+00:00

Well not sure how you feel about athletics but the best practice is to put your head down and work on yourself. Join a Brazillian Jiu Jitsu gym and put in a year. Forget about your women worries and just focus on improving. Three times per week. You will be like a new man. It will change the way you feel about yourself subconsciously and this will effect how women perceive you. There are many mechanisms, or vehicles that will change the mental image of yourself. This is one of them. Tough work, takes time and determination. Are you looking for the magic pill or true advice that works? I know because I did it. I can only advise a formula that has worked for me.

Started 6/10/2014. Time moves man. I could have either been here now with bjj skills or without. Glad I am here now a 30 pounds lighter blue belt! I had a hiccup the last month from consistency. Gets tough when you look and feel the best ever and you want to go play through the earth world in your upgraded space suit. However I look forward to Monday and getting back into the 3-4 day commitment and keep bettering myself.

After a year of training I met a wonderful girl and have been in a relationship for 2 years coming this May. I challenge you to test yourself and put yourself into a uncomfortable situation to learn how to be comfortable. It will change you and you too will be advising others looking to improve themselves. GL r/bjj to figure out a good gym around you.

crawleydown · 2017-01-29T12:05:50+00:00

my parents would find it absurd if I told them this

hehe. If my dad knew how unsuccessful I was with girls, he'd be mortified!

Luckily, everytime I don't come home, he assumes I got laid, and everytime I go on holiday he assumes i'm sleeping with a new girl most nights! I don't correct him!

eablokker · 2017-01-29T18:22:29+00:00

With this attitude even if you did hook up with the girl, you'd still be cursing yourself that she didn't want to see you again, or that she wasn't hot enough, or that you only hooked up with the one and not both. Change your attitude.

That sounds pretty awesome, you had a party and there were at least 2 girls there and you grinded on one of them. That's a success bro. Good work! Keep it up!

woocheese · 2017-01-29T20:00:16+00:00

You won't generally get laid at your party even if you are grinding on a girl. Not if you have 0 experience. Wont happen.

Put yourself in her shoes, doesnt really know you, she thinks youre nice or she wouldn't have been grinding on you. Just because she was grinding on you does not mean she wants you inside her.

You talk like you want a girlfriend? Well you need to both seduce physically and develop a bond with them too. I wouldnt want to date a girl just cos i fucked her the night i met her. Im not that special, if she fucks me after meeting me for 3 hours its not because i am special its because she was down to fuck.

What i would recommend is you text this girl you were grinding with in a couple days and ask to hang out. Take her out for a date. Doesnt need to be over the top just you and her. If she says no, or cancels last minute dont sweat it. Move on. If she jokes and teases "is this a date!?" Be honest all the time. If she asks tell her. Dont ever put yourself down but dont over compensate.

If you do meet her though focus on her, get to know her and she will get to know you. All the kino and shit people talk about is just escalating physically. You need to drop any thoughts you have about manipulating her or just wanting to fuck her. Litterally just focus on getting to know her and touching her. Start really small then escalate.

Touching a hand when youre talking is a nice test. If she pulls away then oh well. Next.

If she likes it escalate.

Be sexual but not creepy, even ask to kiss her. Not like some pussy, but like on a couch "Shuffle over here." "Why?" "So its easier to kiss you." Be fun be playful and dont force sex, or a relationship. Get to know her but dont allow yourself to feel anything deep until she tells you she wants that.

Sometimes you will need to see a girl for several dates before she will sleep with you.

If you want a fuck though and not a girlfriend you will need to look for the girls that are hungry for cock. Just honestly i dont think girls who fuck on the first meet are girlfriend material. Maybe thats outdated and sexist but there you go thats me!

hc_fella · 2017-01-29T23:12:51+00:00

Welp. That's what you're here for trying to fix. My general advice is that you try to get your life in order and let meeting women be just one part of it. Read models by mark manson, should adress most of you issues.

bubba2match · 2017-01-29T18:48:06+00:00

There's no such thing as failure. Look to Tony Robbins for more on that. To address your specific needs right now, I'll ask you what you think it was that caused those negative things to happen? Being single and being lonely are two separate things. One does not lead to or cause the other and vice versa. The world may curse you. Your friends may curse you. Your family may curse you. LET THEM. You don't have to curse yourself. WHAT you tell yourself is the LENS through which you see the world. Confidence is cultivated through practice and communication with yourself and others. Expressing yourself in a healthy way will help cultivate your own confidence, and that starts with expressing your feelings/failures honestly with yourself...which you have shown here in this forum that you already know how to do. All you have to do now is complete the picture, and bring it around to something that you can feel good about. Do this once with this one situation, and then get in the habit of doing it with all negatively perceived situations, and pretty soon you won't be experiencing as many negative situations at all. You say you CAN'T have gone 20 years without a girl, and that your parents would find it absurd. First off- you absolutely CAN go 20, 30, 40, etc. years without a girl. Girls do it all the time. :) I'm not calling you a girl here. I'm proving a point. It's possible. And not at all related to your life. The past and the future are independent of each other and the present is all that you can affect/effect.

Title	Failed
Author	jujuonthebeat
Upvotes	18
Comments	9
Date	January 29, 2017 10:22 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5qt730/failed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/failed.1419392 https://theredarchive.com/post/1419392

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