Finding a partner and keeping her interest

WIA20XX · 2018-05-24T11:07:36+00:00

This isn't a mainstream dating board. It's a seduction board, where we share experiences on what has actually worked, not the stuff that the mainstream tells us to do.

In the confines of a typical monogamous long term relationship - your only tool is the attention that you give her. Indeed, it is her only tool as well, believe it or not.

So there are few options.

1) Continual monitoring of the girl's emotions, and taking an active and preventative role in managing said emotions. This means the never ending seduction. Each day is a new day, and you have to push those buttons again.

2) Remaining her best option through continual self improvement. Working out, dressing well, continuing to be social, and making more money.

Briffault's Law states that if the female does not find "value" in a relationship, she will end the relationship.

Both of these options are far more exhausting than getting a new girl.

There are other ways.

You started this whole conversation off not really knowing that for a guy that is proficient with pickup - replacing is far easier than maintaining.

You'll notice that when you have a lot of girls, each individual girl works to keep you interested. She has to do this because you find each individual less interesting. Each girl is used to having a monopoly and doesn't even like the idea of competition.

And she quickly and conveniently forgets how difficult it was to tear her away from whatever bs she was doing when you were trying to meet up. The positions flip, and she wants them to flip back to her favor.

When you have options, you don't have to deal with temper tantrums, lateness, or whatever thing the girl decides to put you through. You can just withdraw your attention from her, and place it on the next girl. This is not even about behavior modification, it is about not having unnecessary stress in your life.

She should be trying to keep your interest.

Chicks are flooded with offers. For her to actually get with you and stay is a testament to how much you stand out from the crowd.

She can always get more dick, she can always get another slave - what she can't get is the way that she feels around you.

Guys don't have any idea about their own worth.

So option 3 and 4.

3) The dark arts of dread and competition anxiety.

There is a popular video with an actress Kristen Bell talking about her boyfriend. Whenever she didn't get her way, she'd leave their house. Basically threatening to leave the relationship. She loved it. She knew what she was doing, and what she was doing to him.

If you've ever been on the other side of a partner that is always leaving or threatening to leave - that's one of the worst things that can be done emotionally.

That worked on her previous boyfriends.

But it was very manipulative (though super common)

You don't need to be so dramatic, but withdrawal or the implied threat of withdrawal is a very good (and immature) tool.

4) Being okay with loss.

This is what actual players do.

Most people fear the pain of loss more than want the pleasure of gain. Players are not most people.

The big undercurrent of learning pickup is that you're no longer in a state of constant reaction to women. It's not tips, tricks and hacks, but transformation.

He can't be manipulated. He sees through her behavior.

For example, shit tests are not a negative sign of resistance, but rather a positive sign of fitness. Girls don't mess with losers like that.

If she has good cause to leave, good.
If not, it's still good.

A girl that is dumb enough to leave on a whim is not a girl you want around.

Girls don't have power over a pickup artist's deepest emotions. It doesn't mean that he is emotionless, but he just doesn't react to her behavior.

When a baby cries, the veteran parent isn't flipping out anymore, they calmly solve the issue. Pain, cranky, hungry, needs to pee, needs to burp, teething...

Eventually the kids grow up, the pets die, the job becomes boring, the girl no longer feels "in love". Things change.

So the pickup artist is okay with moving on. He understands and is okay with it, because he knows that he can find something just a good, if not better. And he doesn't need to find anything.

The square, the AFC, the normal guy, they are often devastated by a chick breaking up with them.

And a lot of immature girls want to see that. The ex that breaks up with you, will check in. Will Facebook stalk you. Send texts, but not answer the replies.

A solid pickup artist will miss his girlfriend/wife - but that realistic confidence in self, in the demonstrated ability to attract - that basically gives him the glow. A couple of months and he's back in the mix.

The chick doesn't need to see the glow, though many do - which is why they try to lock a guy down - but the glow is for him.

Your aim should not be to keep her interested - but to get to the point, where she has to keep you happy.

-SADGIRL- · 2018-05-24T07:44:31+00:00

Pickup is hookups. But generally pickup community has a lot of personal development, and people leave the pickup community to learn from other ways of life, and from there find themselves even more, and find partnership along the way.

If you want to go for partnership now, pickup isn’t quite your cup of tea. But I’m here because I ain’t in touch with my sexuality and wanna learn the game lol. I’m following many communities and learning from all of them. So if you like what people teach here no need to leave, but if you want a good partner explore other communities - even tho I’m sure numerous folk here want partnership, the personality of this community is seduction, pickup, hookups.

Generally, seduction is a life skill worth having. You’ll want to be able to seduce your partner over and over again each time a new way. But you won’t have a partner without romance, long-term connective value as a family. As partners. As shared life. Shared but independent life of course lol. As friends, rivals, allies, mutual support, all the jazz.

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-05-24T07:46:05+00:00

You have to cultivate new levels of closeness and intimacy. Learn more about her family, what she wants to do in the future, the little things about her you should be noticing and remembering. In other words, be a good listener.

hunterpua · 2018-05-24T11:44:08+00:00

Dude, she's a partner she has to be as in it as you to qualify to be your partner if you have any self respect at all.

Because if you get a girlfriend who will only stay as long as its fun and never put in work to strengthen the relationship then even if you get to fuck her every night (until she gets bored of it, of course) that isn't a win, its one hell of a loss.

Kellogsnowflake · 2018-05-24T15:14:56+00:00

All about the 'us mentality', build things together - maybe or maybe not literally, but accomplish things and plan things as a team. Listen to her. Admit fault. Apologise. Share possessions, thoughts, feelings and time. Compromise. Argue. Let her add value to you, motivate her and encourage her and accept what she has to offer. Be the best version of yourself and help her to be hers as she will you. Don't try to keep her, surrender to the concept that one day it will be over and cherish your moments.

Dressing all of this up as 'being alpha' or 'high value' is immature and is what social retards say to label something they don't understand.

Just be indispensable to her, and never ever stop listening. That doesn't mean to agree with everything, have your own value system and stick to it, be confrontational when you need to be in a respectful and mature fashion.

If none of this comes naturally then either you're not ready yet, or she's not the right one.

iTsUndercover · 2018-05-24T09:59:10+00:00

I‘d say you give 3% man from Corey Wayne a go. He talks a lot about this subject.

plowzedong · 2018-05-24T10:41:38+00:00

Be high value and fuck her good.

All other advice is bullshit...

judahman8 · 2018-05-27T07:20:17+00:00

BDSM

Title	Finding a partner and keeping her interest
Author	BossaNostra
Upvotes	10
Comments	10
Date	May 24, 2018 7:22 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8lqs89/finding_a_partner_and_keeping_her_interest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/finding-a-partner-and-keeping-her-interest.1306038 https://theredarchive.com/post/1306038

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