First date fundamentals (for beginners)?

TheFifthEspada679 · 2022-04-24T15:02:31+00:00

Think of it as practice. That fact your putting yourself out there is already a win - well done ! Try to ask open questions, if they do the talking and then you make them feel like they are interesting / entertaining- that’s a good start. Think over your life - consider stories from your life that are funny / interesting..but also demonstrate some of your achievements or good qualities . Don’t force them into the conversation- but taking some time to think about these things beforehand will make them fresh in your memory. You can even save notes in your phone for a reminder when you go to the bathroom if needs be

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-04-24T15:14:46+00:00

Don’t fall into logical conversations.

Your conversation should be playful, funny, tease her, make funny guesses, make playful accusations, create a playful vibe, create a little bit of drama as a joke, challenge her, roast her…

Don’t be like: “so what do you do for a living” oh i’m a journalist and you?, a nurse? oh you like it? Sure, so how come you study journalism” well i always liked being informed about the world, so i figure why not inform other people myself… Interesting, so why you study nurse,…

Like don’t have dull conversations like that for the love of god try to inject humour somehow, and tease her and be playful and fun…

And don’t try to impress her, don’t try to prove your worth to her, a date is not about proving you are good enough to the girl. So don’t go there thinking “oh i must show her all the reasons why she must choose me” don’t go with that mentality.

IceComprehensive6440 · 2022-04-24T14:33:51+00:00

What are you guys doing on the date? Also stay chill. Nobody falls in love after one date despite what Hollywood tells you so even if it’s not perfect it’s no big deal.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-04-24T15:04:39+00:00

Focus on just having fun and being in the moment.
Don’t imagine her as your future wife/girlfriend. No romantic fantasizing.
You aren’t there to impress her. You are there to have fun and see if you like her as well.
Ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no response (Who, What, when, where, why questions) Just don’t turn in into an interview, women hate that. Ask her about things you’re genuinely interested in. Add some of your own experiences and thoughts.
Be a gentleman, hold doors, but don’t make a big deal out it.
Take care of as much details as possible so she can relax. Don’t put the planning of the date on her shoulders.

TL;DR: Have fun, be in the moment, don’t fantasize, ask open-ended questions to authentically learn about her

DoodoaX · 2022-04-24T15:07:33+00:00

Congratulations my friend.

You need to lead to date from start to finish. That means you do the escalating. Simple touching and see how she responds. If she’s about it, make an excuse, kiss her and then take it from there. Don’t worry about your surroundings. Trust me nobody will care.

Pay for the date.

Try not to tell her about your dating history.

Be yourself but also don’t be an open book on the first date. Let her imagination do the work for you.

Let her do most of the talking.

Make sure the date is near your place. If it’s going well, find an excuse to bring her back to yours. (Bottle of wine, video games etc)

Shower beforehand.

WASH YOUR GODDAMN BALLS.

Godspeed

caligrown_85 · 2022-04-24T14:21:26+00:00

1 Don’t be too hard on yourself

2 be yourself, don’t try hard being someone you are not

3 be present in the moment and enjoy yourself.

Edit idk why I am screaming with big letters

Psychological_Hunt24 · 2022-04-24T19:28:15+00:00

Maintain eye contact.

ImpossibleBig6011 · 2022-04-27T03:04:54+00:00

Everyone here is saying don’t treat it too serious which is true and easy to agree with but there’s also the fact this is your first date so it’s not like you can turn off that switch as easy as it is said you should in theory. Instead acknowledge to yourself that your nervous, there’s nothing wrong with that. But you also have to acknowledge that whoever your taking on the date is atleast mildly interested in you and is comfortable enough to go out to meet you for a date. That’s what you should drill into yourself to dominate your frame. She’s into you too. That’s the most important part, your inner frame will win you half the battle trust.

Now for when your on the date:

If the date is an activity then enjoy it. If it looks like her put effort into doing her hair then that’s a great first comment to break the ice. If it’s a dinner then take this time to ask questions, as for what kinds of questions ill get to that in a sec.

Portray yourself with abundance, Look. The phrase be yourself is easy to say and is commonly accepted because it’s true but the phrase isn’t worded correctly. What it should say is ‘Be the best version of yourself’. You don’t have much experience with women? That’s not a great aspect that conveys your value so dont present it. Think of a product on TV. They show you it’s best qualities or features because the person on the receiving end is under the impression that your showing them what they have to look forward to, not what they have to accept. That being said don’t let that stop you from being genuine in what you do decide to display. It should still be you.

To emphasize what I said in the beginning because it is very important, still into your mind that she’s into you too. However that doesn’t mean you can get off without personality and interesting conversation. Ask questions that evoke personal thought and emotion. You can bring up any event that’s happened to your recently or even lie about one that happened to you that day. Give your thoughts on how it made you feel and ask her what she thinks. When she starts telling you about her day or what’s happened to her recently use it to your advantage on expanding the conversation. Ask her open ended questions like how whatever she talked about made her feel, expand from there and so on. Another key point: interview questions are not your enemy. They can OPEN a great conversation that you can expand on in the way I said before but they shouldn’t be yes or no. And they should ONLY be used to open a topic, it shouldn’t be a conversation full of interview questions. Remember the difference.

Last thing is something I use personally and I wouldn’t trademark this as conventional advice so you decide whether or not you agree with what I’m about to say: Weed can be a serious friend. If you smoke blunts or hit pens, at the end of the date, or on a high not I tend to ask if the other person smokes weed. If they say they do, offer them to smoke with you. Reason being that when your high you have an excuse to showcase more about yourself because your both caught up in the moment. It allows you to be more open as if she gets to know you better without seeming as if your just volunteering or throwing information out of nowhere. Exclude the dating history though.

2022-04-24T14:47:55+00:00

Be yourself!

I’m a woman and I find that if someone is being themselves my guard goes down and I feel I can be myself (and connect with them). You also actually end up connecting on things you both truly have interest in.

Don’t put a lot of expectation on it. And don’t worry about sounding cool or like you have ‘game’ or whatever, if that’s naturally not what you are like it comes across as super cringey and forceful.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-04-24T16:28:33+00:00

Don't behave like this is your first date ever. That's the only advice I have.

heretolearnsth · 2022-04-24T14:05:26+00:00

Next week wil be my first date ever. I feel very nervous because I have 0 experience or plans.

bro planning upfront for one date one week later! come on!

pondboi111 · 2022-04-24T18:12:24+00:00

I used to have a shot for confidence before first dates. But generally just be yourself, speak about stuff you’re interested in. Find out what they’re interested in.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-04-24T21:26:43+00:00

The first date without any experience is usually not the best way to start but you got a date somehow you be happy about that, a lot of guys never make it this far. So I suggest that don't expect anything big from yourself. You did those things before so yes you gonna be suck at it first like we all suck at anything we try for the first time. You gonna be nervous, probably she gonna be too so be too dumb to fail, don't care about any result, you gonna mess things up, you gonna say and do wrong things and it's totally fine till you can learn from it. Just enjoy the moment for its own sake or just try it at least see how it goes, if you're at least can have fun together lucky things might happen if you dare to make moves and like to kiss the girl, so just have fun and tryna make moves if you got those things right its already a success

Secure_Bandicoot_662 · 2022-04-24T23:37:24+00:00

Always respect yourself & her. Enforce it harshly if necessary.

Shot-Passage-2544 · 2022-04-25T15:35:32+00:00

It’s your first one so expect to be nervous for the first few minutes. You’re exploring new territory so nervousness will be a natural response. It will go away the further into the date you go.

Get a haircut. Groom yourself as well as you know how. Wear what makes you feel most confident.

Aim up but aim low. It most likely won’t end in sex. Maybe the goal is just to show up on time and talk with the person for 1hr. That’s fine. You get better with time.

Journal about the experience after if you can. What worked, what didn’t, what would you like to do differently next time.

Have fun. Life’s short

Title	First date fundamentals (for beginners)?
Author	sumimigaquatchi
Upvotes	25
Comments	21
Date	April 24, 2022 1:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uav7ex/first_date_fundamentals_for_beginners/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/first-date-fundamentals-for-beginners.1261288 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261288

Comments

1 Don’t be too hard on yourself

2 be yourself, don’t try hard being someone you are not

3 be present in the moment and enjoy yourself.