First [FR] First Approach (After Class) (Failure)

blitzik · 2011-09-22T19:02:00+00:00

It's not a failure if you learned something from it. You did good, keep it up.

CarterCool · 2011-09-22T19:47:01+00:00

You approached. Win.

On to the next one.

Hormander · 2011-09-22T21:02:18+00:00

That was not pathetic at all from my point of view. You did pretty well. You're not inferior because you act like "a beta" at some point. Stop putting boxes into your brain. The world doesn't split into two categories, the betas, and the alphas. Be yourself, stop wondering about being alpha. Forget all that bullshit, just enjoy the moment (which you did not).

The only problem is that you looked like a robot trying to put into practice all that pick-up theory, and you forgot to have fun.

Learn from your mistakes, and focuse on your victories, like having the balls to talk that girl, being clear about your intentions, etc.

biffyboy · 2011-09-22T18:44:23+00:00

You nailed the opening. Something interesting to note, even though you lost your confidence, I guarantee that she was MORE nervous than you after that magical opening ;)

If you can remember this next time, it'll be easier to stay collected. As neurotic as you feel, multiply that by about 5, and you have an idea what the girl is thinking - "omg don't do something dorky, is my hair ok? oh shit he saw my zit, I shoulda covered it up".

maxwellchernsimons · 2011-09-22T19:03:48+00:00

Why are you concerned about acting beta when you can't even maintain a proper conversation without freaking out? Take your time and relax. You see what you did wrong? This opener is great if you have the skills to build up from where you started, but if you're not used to go from "hello" to "how was your nanny like?", then it makes no sense to use it.

If you're too scared of cold openings, like just saying hello, try using something situational. Like "hey, I see you were in XXX class.. how do you find the teacher?" "I heard YYY about XXX, what do you think?". Just keep asking questions and eventually she'll be talking about herself.

Next time go talk to some other girl in the exact same setting, but instead of using the canned opener, just make a goal of having a 2 minutes conversation without exchanging numbers or anything.

drumdance · 2011-09-22T21:11:27+00:00

Congrats! Take one thing you didn't like about that approach and try to improve. Doesn't matter if you score.

I found that when I first started approaching my biggest enemy was that I talked too fast and also bailed too fast. I've gotten better at both.

pohatu · 2011-09-22T23:56:51+00:00

Great report. Very helpful to the rest of us. I appreciate it.

Just remember: she can't hear what's going on in your head. And even though you're surely right all the time about everything, much like myself, you don't need to judge yourself in-game. Let it ride and you might even find that you're wrong, you didn't fuck up.

I've asked girls what it was that attracted them to me and found that what they liked was the one part of our encounter I would have deleted had I had it to do over again.

As much as we study them, they remain a riddle, wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

absurdconcept · 2011-09-23T01:07:06+00:00

Congratulations! You've inspired me, I'm going to be fearless today. What's the worst that could happen? :)

WolfInTheField · 2011-09-23T02:35:49+00:00

I'm not even gonna read this (because it's 4:30 am where I live), but

THERE IS NO FAILURE!

You approached! FUCK YEAH! You are awesome. Fuck it if it didn't go anywhere. You grew some big, fat balls. You did it. You learned. The next step is to realize that you should think more positive, and after that life becomes a golden land of awesomeness.

Title	First [FR] First Approach (After Class) (Failure)
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	11
Date	September 22, 2011 6:15 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ko5cn/first_fr_first_approach_after_class_failure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/first-fr-first-approach-after-class-failure.1322814 https://theredarchive.com/post/1322814

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