I am a college student in a town that doesn't get snow often. Yesterday I found out that today's classes were canceled due to snow, so I invited a girl I knew from my math class to get coffee with me. (Not my first date with her) Skip to the last few paragraphs for the juicy stuff.

We planned on meeting at 10:30am. The morning of, I get a text saying her: "It'd be awesome if we can push our meeting time back. I'm sleepy and don't want to get up yet." (turns out she stayed up til 5 am) me: "Alright sleepy head, how is 2pm?" her:"That's kinda late. Maybe. I'm to tired to think right now." me: "You chose then :)" I am a little exasperated at this point because I though she was trying to flake; turns out she had obligations in the evening and I think she wanted to spend more time with me.

She ends up meeting me at 2 for coffee. I show up at her dorm early, so I strike up a conversation with some guys sitting in the lounge until she comes along. We are going a coffee place neither of us have been to. It turns out it was a place a friend had recommended to her a while ago, so she was excited about the place when she found out. We talk about her interest in chemistry. I feel stuck behind a table barrier; I'm not really sure how to escalate kino from across a coffee table.

I suggest we leave the coffee shop, but I don't really feel like I could walk away from the date at this point, so I say "Hey, you gotta show me your dorm room!" She makes some comment about her room being messy. I'm not sure how to respond to it, so I just shrug and insist on seeing her room anyway. We check out her room, and unfortunately her roommate is in there. Damn! I was hoping to isolate. I suggest we go play out in the snow, with the intent of making our way to my house for isolation there.

On our way towards the exit, she says she is hungry and wants a snack. She wants to go to some little food shop in her dorm. She kind of "asks my permission", and I say "Sure". She looks at the food on display, and I make fun of all the super unhealthy food the place has demanding, "Where are the damn vegetables!?", and she makes fun of me for eating healthy. She still ends up getting one of the healthier food options, all while proclaiming she eats unhealthy food without caring.

When she is buying her food she asks me if I want anything to eat because she has too much money on her card. At first I automatically say "No thanks, I had a big lunch." without thinking about it. I've gotta say, now I know how it feels to be the girl when she shoots down the guy trying to buy her drinks. From her expression and body language I realizing rejecting her offer is a bad idea. I quickly and desperately look around for something that she can buy me. I point to the impulse buys near the counter and say "You know, I could really use some gum." She says "Oh, I have gum X and Y flavor in my purse, or I can go grab Z from my room." I end up taking some gum she has in her purse and that seems to have diffused that little situation.

We sit on a couch in a lounge next to each other and I put my hand on the side of her leg as we talk. She says we can check out video games from the lounge. I am not really interested in dealing with the trouble of it (neither of us had done it before and I didn't know what games they had), but in hindsight I think that was her way of suggesting we play games.

We make more small talk. She tells me her "most embarrassing story", where she tells me about a guy who essentially ignored her while she kept trying to hang out with him. (she implied it was because he is socially awkward). I tried to think of my own embarrassing story to share, but drew a blank. I would love to know what to do in situations where a girl shares a story where she opens up like that.

Ultimately though, she keeps trying to drag me into deep philosophical discussion, a propensity she has that I don't know how to handle. I usually avoid truly deep philosophy discussion because in the past my strong opinions have often resulted in hurt feelings. Eventually I relent; I throw at her the classic moral dilemma. I wont tell the whole story here unless you ask, but needless to say discussing moral philosophy was unsatisfying (for me) as I kinda expected. I would love your advice on how to avoid unsatisfying philosophizing in the future.

I don't really feel comfortable escalating kino further in such a public space, so I suggest we go for a walk hoping to end up somewhere more private. We get out side and it is cold. I say "Wow, a walk was a terrible idea." she agrees. I suggested going back to my place and she agrees again.

We show up at my place (fraternity). I lead her up to my room, which I have prepped a little, to find my roommate... playing flash games... He has earned a reputation for not being able to hints about vacating a room for such purposes. He just looks at me and my ladyfriend and keeps playing. I realize I fucked up the logistics of this date and I am not getting laid today. Damn!

We go down into our living room and just chill on the couch talking more. The room, although a public space, is pretty empty so I feel more comfortable escalating. We start a discussion about fashion a suit I love to wear comes up. She goes on to say that suits generally look better on guys 6 feet tall and 160 pounds. At first I don't understand her specificity, but then it dawns on me that she thinks these are my measurements. I chuckle and play a little game I like to play with people purely for my own (ego feeding) pleasure. I tell her I am 5'10.5" and ask her to guess my weight. She guesses 160lbs, which almost everyone guesses. I am actually 180 pounds. ( I spend a lot of time at the gym doing lifts that increase muscle mass but not so much volume.) She says something along the lines of "Hah, that's nothing, my x-boyfriend was 300 pounds." I wasn't really sure how to handle that one. I just kinda shrug and say "Wow, that is big." But the purpose of my little quiz this time was to figure out if she was connecting this 6 foot 160 pound person who looks great in suits to me. It told me she was fantasizing about me in a suit.

Anyways, I use this discussion about fashion and jeans to put my hand on her leg to admire her, uh, jeans. She seems to like it. We keep talking, but once I start escalating the kino that way anticipatory silences start to form and I gotta do something. During a pause in the conversation I go in for a kiss, but draw back. She has this annoying habit of putting keeping her chin low, forcing me into an awkward position if I want to try to kiss her. I try to go in for it anyway. After a terribly performed kiss she queries "It's been a while since you've done this hasn't it?" and then in a weak beta moment I say "Yeah, and I was never very good at it to start." (FUUUUU, don't worry, I am already beating myself up over this.)

I pull away for a moment, discourage. But her body language hasn't changed much, she is still good to go so far as I can read. I go in for another kiss, only this time I consciously notice her head tilting down. I playfully said "You don't make this easy for me." and she respond by saying something like "Yeah, I always play hard to get!" This time I put my hand in her hair and tilt her head back. Success! Kind of. I was still a little shaken from the last kiss and over thinking it, but now I know that sometimes I gotta be more directive and move her head where I need it. Also, as "strong woman" as this girl likes to portray herself, I think she still wants a man to "take charge and make it happen." I think she purposefully makes it hard for the guy to see if/how he will overcome the obstacle.

Advice, of the kissing sort, or any sort welcome!