[FR] Avoiding closing

puaCurveBall · 2011-05-05T20:58:34+00:00

I never close for the sake of closing.

The girl has to be high enough quality to make you want her, just because you run your game well and she is ready to go home with you doesn't mean she meets your standards.

Advice? I would make a list of what you really want or interest you, and then make herself qualify those points to you. If she has them you'll be more attracted / interested, and if she doesn't you have reasons to not close.

I have physical, educational and sexual requirements, and if the girls don't pass those then I'm not closing even if they are all over me.

2011-05-05T21:13:09+00:00

Well, remember that day you went out but were in a bad mood because of work/friends/family/sports? You're cool but that day was really terrible. You went to a bar, however, and talked to some people, and tried to have some fun.

Maybe those girls were that person that day. Always close if you can, then rethink the situation afterwards

actionpotential · 2011-05-06T02:32:46+00:00

Does this resonate with you?

He has this fantasy idea of what a perfect relationship should be like and gets very angry and throws fits when real life doesn't live up to his unreachable expectations.

It does with me. A friend once said to me I should give people a chance. When I meet someone, I often keep expecting them to like everything I like, be smart, interesting, politically active, musical, whatnot. As soon as I see something I don't like, I tend to go 'next' in my mind. But overall it's not fair to them. Do you want to meet other people, find out who they are, or have you already decided who you want to meet? It's perfectly fine to have expectations, but if you're saying no 100% of the time, I think there're some things you need to reconsider. Cheers mate.

chumpta · 2011-05-06T09:52:01+00:00

And then it happened. I just walked away. I let myself get dragged into a conversation away from her. The best way to describe my attitude was "meh". Later on in the night I reentered the same set and this time HB6 was all over me. Tons and tons and tons of kino.

well at least you have some reference of the power of being aloof.

I am so outcome independent that I don't even try.

i dunno man, it's possible but i would think this is exceedingly rare. it's more likely that you've got anxiety about closing, everybody does.

I consistently go out. I consistently approach and start the conversation. I regularly get a foundation of attraction. Then I lose interest and just walk away.

you thought the girl was sexy... what's making you lose interest?

I'm starting to wonder what the hell is wrong with me

maybe you're just not that into sex? i dunno, it's possible. You need to really ask yourself why you're starting out interested and then losing interest. dumb uninteresting girls can still be fun to have sex with.

There are no features of the woman I am looking for. What I want is to feel a connection.

magical connections that plop from nowhere are very rare. in many cases it is the man who fabricates/creates much of the connection and takes the girl for a fun ride. your actions and seduction of the girl will build the connection, not form as some result of two pre-existing minds simply coming into proximity with each other. the ball is in your court, if you want an interesting game you're gonna have to play it yourself.

frogma · 2011-05-06T11:17:11+00:00

I think I want to clarify a little what I mean by this post. At first I thought my problem was that I wasn't creating attraction. I had low self-esteem thinking I couldn't attract decent women. I believed learning about game would help me get passed this and more-or-less it has. I have almost no trouble now meeting several new women each week.

I thought I'd quickly meet several women that I really wanted and then I'd use the techniques I learned here to make sure I didn't fuck up my chances with them. It turns out that the women that I thought were super good looking and that I was anxious to approach are quite normal when I actually go to talk to them.

I am not doing this to rack up lays. I actually want to meet someone I can spend time with. I don't want to feel like PU is my job.

I just think it is a bit fucked up that after doing this for three months, three times per week, I still haven't met a girl I am really in to. I haven't met a girl that put a fire in my belly like I was going to do everything in my power to get her. I haven't even met a girl who I would sit and listen to her shit for 4 hours just to fuck her. That is why I wonder if there is something wrong with me.

dzy1 · 2011-05-05T20:15:31+00:00

I think you are afraid that even if you close it won't amount to anything because they are also talking to other guys etc. Its an inner game issue. But regardless you don't have to iso etc to close. Just # close it and get back together some other time without all the other distractions.

ABC - Always Be Closing

mocoalatino · 2011-05-06T01:02:33+00:00

After starting second paragraph I thought Noooooooo But if you weren't feeling it you were't feeling it Maybe you subconsciously noticed something wrong Agree with other posters Afraid of success? Do you want to close for sake of closing? Just # close it and get back together maybe they will be cooler maybe

sparrowpua · 2011-05-15T18:48:06+00:00

I know how that feels very well and I've had some wings with a similar issue. The reasons behind it differ from person to person, so it's ber hard to say why you feel the way you do. Here's some advice:

That connection may come later in the interaction or it may not. The thing is, you won't know if you aren't closing.

Or maybe that connection you seek is a one in a thousand thing. Isn't that rare and awesome connection supposed to be just that - rare and awesome?

You also don't know if it's fear of success; a subconscious rejection of the idea of meeting bar girls; some unknown insecurity; some problem in your life or habits or even diet that negatively affects your libido; or if you're, for whatever reason, preventing yourself from sexualizing the girls in your mind while you talk with them.

So, here's my suggestion:

Like dzy1 said, ABC - always be closing. Just try it out as an experiment for the next month since you haven't been. Do it even if you don't feel like it. I think this is a more useful exercise than trying to diagnose the problem. Whatever the issue is, the solution may still be the same - ABC, plus the two suggestions below. If the problem is that you don't feel you deserve the girls because you lack something in your life, then you'll need to deal with that in addition to these three pieces of advice.
When talking with a girl, consciously picture what it'd be like to fuck her brains out. Think about the sexy sounds she'd make, the look on her face, etc. This is really important.
Try going for 8s and 9s.

bananabombboy · 2011-05-06T03:36:19+00:00

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!? what does FR HB6 HB7 kino IOI all mean? lol i cant figure it out, its probably really simple i know but help please

Title	[FR] Avoiding closing
Author	reggieband
Upvotes	9
Comments	21
Date	May 5, 2011 8:00 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/h52ay/fr_avoiding_closing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-avoiding-closing.1296633 https://theredarchive.com/post/1296633

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