This actually happened to me this summer, but I was laughing about it just now so I figured you guys might like it. It was a truly spectacular blow out.

I vacation in Michigan in the summers (I've been all over the world and Western Michigan truly has the best beaches--highly recommended).

Woke up one morning and the lake was clear and shallow. It was absolutely still. You could see to the bottom for hundreds of yards out. So I got pumped, grabbed the kayak and ran out to the water. Figured I'd paddle down to the lighthouse.

On the way I see an HB standing waste deep in the water (one of the cool things about the beaches in Michigan is that they are shallow really far out, so it's common to pass people in a canoe or whatever). The closer I get the higher on the HB scale she gets--6, 7, 8, holyshit, 9... And she's just standing there waste deep in water and sunshine. I can't take my eyes off her.

Unconsciously, I paddle in her direction. She can see me coming (it's not a club after all; it's a giant fucking open lake with only two people in it). If I hadn't been so surprised I may have realized this is awkward as shit, but I was in a kayak so I was feelin good.

Shocked to see an HB9 just standing there alone, I did not improvise a gameplan. I was just sort of stoked and mesmerized. I wasn't thinking about anything really. I did not, for example, think about how there's no PUA material on kayak game. So when I paddled up I had no opener. I just sat there for a few moments looking at her.

I had to say something so I opened my mouth and what came out was, "Wanna ride?" She looked down at my small one-person watercraft. Then she said, in spectacular HB9 fashion, "Uh, no." And my mind went completely blank. What the hell else do you say after you offer someone a ride in a kayak and they decline? So I just sat in my boat smiling like a doofus.

It didn't take too long for me to realize I had to eject. However, ejecting from a 1-set on an open lake presents more difficult logistical challenges than normal. For example, I had to turn my kayak around. I don't know if any of you have ever tried to turn a kayak around from a stand still, but it takes a minute and it's pretty hard fucking work. And the whole time I'm turning my little boat around she is just standing silently in her bikini and staring as I melt in molten beta awkwardness.

We all get blown out, but very few of us have to do a paddle of shame afterward. Haha--if that don't build character, I'm not sure what does.

Please share your best blowouts. :)

Cheers, Soup