[FR] First time using direct opener. Crashed and burned.

paleos · 2013-10-21T20:40:21+00:00

Bro!! Props on that you went in like a boss!! The only failure is not trying and you fucking went for it!! The only way this is gonna get better is more practice. It's not easy being shy and going up to really attractive girls.

I think the key takeaway from this is to not review the interaction and think about what you could do to make this it less awkward. The more you approach the more you will auto-correct your mistakes subconsciously. You'll build momentum and realize what you're doing right and wrong.

Also like someone else try not to go in with a result in mind just try to be open to the idea of just going up and talking and seeing what they are like. Don't focus on results!

biscotti_karate · 2013-10-21T22:53:12+00:00

I thought that the topics of conversation were fine (school, her major, graphic design, etc etc). Anything can be used to show her your knowledge and value. I did have a problem with the opening though. You had not even made eye contact with her before you walked over. It probably took her completely by surprise and she was instantly uncomfortable. If you are going to use a line like that, do not excuse yourself. None of the "this sounds really random" or "I had to come talk to you". Just "Hey, I'm xforstbyte and I think you're pretty cute". Also did you sit down? If you didn't sit down there might have been additional awkwardness building from you standing, waiting on her replies.

VforVenreddit · 2013-10-21T18:53:31+00:00

You went in expecting a response (getting her to like you). This came off as needy and she lost interest. Don't be outcome dependent, try not to care too much and don't handle approaches like an interview.

Glaborage · 2013-10-21T20:09:28+00:00

If you are going to use a direct opener, you need to follow-up with direct game. Why would you even care about her major? What is your goal for this interaction? Do you want to ask her on a date? Tell her. Do you want to kiss her? Tell her. Do you want to bring her back home? Tell her. Wishy washy doesn't work. You must go all in.

goetz_von_cyborg · 2013-10-22T00:37:20+00:00

The first step is always the hardest. Keep it up! You'll get better at it and that little adrenaline rush never really fades.

throwawaynodos · 2013-10-22T01:57:26+00:00

Good on you for trying man. I'm still not sold on the idea of direct game in a university setting, though. Never seen it work, at least at my school (small, private, liberal arts party school). Maybe better luck at larger public schools with smaller Greek presence?

2013-10-22T02:14:26+00:00

Fuckin good work man. The first one is always the hardest. Keep at it and you'll get better.

Dorman010 · 2013-10-22T13:49:58+00:00

Getting over AA definitely feels good. I've been doing this stuff for several years now, and let me tell you something - you will never stop getting rejections. There will be fewer, but I still get rejected all the time. Hell, even fucking Mystery gets rejected.

Now, as far as your FR, here are a few pointers that may help you:

1) What you say is not nearly as important as how you say it. I can tell the most interesting story in the world, but if I do it in a monotonous, boring tone, nobody will listen. You can also get a crowd surrounding you and listening to your every word, by talking with conviction (like what stand-up comedians do).

2) You are not a mind reader. You do not know whether the girl really thought the situation was awkward, or whether she was waiting for you to ask her number so she can bombard you with kisses. However, the moment you say something along the lines of "This feels a bit awkward", you set the state of mind for both yourself AND the girl.

3) You asked some pretty generic questions that I could ask literally any student. Pay attention to her clothes, the little details - does she wear any earrings? Any particular piercing? Does her backpack have a funny design on it? Is the dress she's wearing really good looking.

4) Don't be afraid to ask a girl out! Really, the worst thing that ever happened to me was "I'm sorry, I'm just really not interested". Well, I did get stood up on once, but that's all. I guess what I'm trying to say is: rejection is not a bad thing; it builds character!

MuffinX · 2013-10-21T23:08:26+00:00

Good job man for going for it, but dont say excuse me!

Congvo · 2013-10-22T02:02:14+00:00

puntingbaxter · 2013-10-21T20:41:52+00:00

dont talk about school

Title	[FR] First time using direct opener. Crashed and burned.
Author	xfrostbyte
Upvotes	10
Comments	20
Date	October 21, 2013 6:28 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ox2k5/fr_first_time_using_direct_opener_crashed_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-first-time-using-direct-opener-crashed-and.1290027 https://theredarchive.com/post/1290027

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