Friday night started and I texted an HB8 I've known for a while (Girl A) about a party I was throwing that Saturday.

Me: "Saturday, [club name]. If you flake again I'm giving my 3rd favorite japanese person slot to [mutual japanese friend]."

We had tried arranging to meet up a few times before in the city, but never worked out.

"Way to tell me last minute but I'll try not to flake this time. and WTF 3rd only?? I want an upgrade!"

Continued to tease her about the work she'd have to do to move up, that third was still pretty good (she'd get to be 2nd to last on my myspace top friends), and that she shouldn't be sad about not moving up.

Go to a club with a few buddies and hang out with a 3set of girls I knew. Girl B, C, D (7.5, 6, 6). My target's B, but I had known C for a while and am pretty sure she has a crush on me. Thanks to the alcy, I'm not sure what I said exactly, but I do remember my frame was rock solid the whole night. I bounced in and out of set, occasionally ignored their questions "accidentally" to warmly greet someone else, and when a shit test did come up, I laughed in her face and told her she had to be kidding. When C and D go to the bathroom, B declines to go with them and corners me on the dance floor with some intense fuck me eyes. C and D want to leave, so after saying bye I grab B and tell her we're meeting up with some of my friends.

Meanwhile Girl A has texted me:

"Ahhh you're going to hate me, but I can't call out of work tomorrow. I'll make it up to you! Lemme take you out this week, it's on me. i wanna keep that 3rd fave slot!"

"I get back from LA the 22nd, I'm free the 23rd? then probably would have to be after new years."

"YESS I think i'm off the 23rd!! i'll take you out then!"

"hahaha aiiite. I expect you to wine and dine me and make me feel pretty ;)"

"Haha I got you, I'm gonna take you to a nice restaurant, make sure you dress pretty lol"

Done. No response. Radio silence with maybe one brief keep-warm text exchange between now and then.

Girl B and I are in a cab meeting up with friends, but we're snuggling up in the back seat and she keeps giving me the puppy-dog eyes. I say I want to drink more and tell the cab driver my address instead. She asks me why we're going to my place and I just say "I'm thirsty," change the subject, and that's that. As soon as we get into the apartment I shove her against my dining table and we caveman make out. I pick her up by her legs to bring her toward the bedroom, stumble over a chair, knock over a plant, throw her on my bed, and shut the door.

We're getting pretty hot and heavy; she's half naked when she gives me some LMR: "We're going too fast..." Fuck. I remember the freeze-out...I've never tried it before but now seems a good a time as any. I say OK that's cool, turn over, grab my laptop, and start checking my email. She's topless, horny, and snuggling up on me while I'm responding to my tailor about a shirt I ordered. She gets fed up and re-engages hard; we end up sealing the deal. Man, she had some amazing cans.

I've written this in comments in a few threads but want to reiterate it here too. I've seen a marked improvement in my text game lately by applying a few principles:

  • Less is more. I used to try to carry on a text convo as long as possible in the hopes that she would say something I could use as an opportunity to ask her out. Stupid, losing game. Now, I try to keep exchanges between 2-4 texts, max. Purpose of this is twofold...First, I don't get butthurt, self-conscious, and supplicating when her responses are lukewarm. Second, it implies scarcity. If you're ready to end the exchange at any time, this will come through in what you say.

  • Less questions, more statements. To achieve the above, I try to phrase things as a high-response value statements she can respond to rather than questions. I was in the office late and a girl asked me how work was. I responded "The heat's cranked to max, I'm dying. I wonder what company policy is on wearing pants at night." Funny, lighthearted response that doesn't beg an answer. If she stops responding, she doesn't end the convo with the upper hand because there was no expectation for her to say anything back. Also, I try not to say menial, everyday shit like "how have you been?" or "how was your day?". These are largely hollow, supplicating questions that don't imply high value or illicit good responses. This article helped me a lot with this.

  • Assertiveness. I have to give credit for this to cheddar. I don't ask girls to meet up anymore, period. I tell. If it doesn't work out for them, they'll suggest something else. A few that have gotten good responses:

  • "Drinks tonight, meet me at [x] at 10pm."

  • "Boo, we're cooking tonight. Bring an onion."

At first, it seemed uncharacteristically forceful, but girls have responded well.

One caveat is, I've also had a few non-responses using this method. I'll say "I'll be in your area tomorrow, come meet me at 8 for drinks." to a girl I thought I had on lock, only to receive no response. I probably didn't have it calibrated 100% and hadn't ramped up the attraction enough beforehand. She probably felt awkward about responding, so she didn't. Anyone have any advice on this front?