Don't expect anything too crazy detailed, because honestly the past few hours have been a tidal wave of confusion for me.

I've never been on a date. Never even kissed a girl. Yeah, I know, weird for a 23 year old college student, but shit (read: social anxiety) happens. ANYWAY.

I'd had tinder for a few months but deleted it after never having got a match. Got bored and slightly drunk the other night and re-installed it, and started swiping right on anybody who looked moderately interesting.

Lo and fucking behold, I got a match. And an even bigger surprise she's adorable. And has a pixie haircut. MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS. I didn't let myself think about what to say, because if I did I'd over-analyze things and screw it up, so I just said that I HAD to swipe right because she had a dog in her picture.

Imagine my surprise when she actually messaged back. And not just a "lol thanks" or "haha", but a legitimate reply, saying that dog people were her favorite kind of people. Ensue a day-long conversation where in the end SHE gave me her phone number, without me even asking for it. Texted some more and I asked her out for coffee today. Holy screaming shit she said yes. I had no idea what I was doing (still don't) but what the hell here we go.

We met up earlier today just to drink coffee and chat. If I'm completely honest, I forced myself not to think about it beforehand, because if I did the ensuing anxiety and panic would cripple me. This is going to sound weird, but I made it work by expecting her NOT to show up. Not in a bad way, like she was ghosting me, but just pretending I was on my own until actually walking through the door and letting it almost be a surprise.

So I found her and introduced myself with a hug, got a coffee, and just started talking. I struggle with rambling on about my own topics, so I made it a point to ask about her first. Work, school, that sort of thing.

I don't know how, honestly I don't, but this was the easiest conversation with a woman I've ever had. 99% of the time I'll start getting panic attacks and lose my mind, but somehow things worked out. Maybe the stars aligned, because we talked for almost three hours. There were a couple awkward lulls here and there but we managed to move past those fairly easily.

I don't know if it's a good indication or not, but apparently it's easy to make her laugh, and I did. I wasn't using any special "technique" or strategy for the whole conversation, just kinda...seeing where it took us.

In the end I didn't feel the time was right to actually kiss her, so I settled for a hug again and promised to text her later, in my own head thinking I'm gonna need some time to process this whole thing myself. I've never been on a date before, so this is all extremely new and a little frightening.

So, anything you guys can see that might need improvement, or that I did right and should keep doing? I'll happily answer any questions that I can.

Also apologies for the gigantic fucking wall of text, I'm still figuring this all out and my brain isn't functioning 100% correctly.

Peace!