My ideal set up for meeting women is during the day, as I am going about my life. I have made it a habit to approach in these situations, though it is not always easy, as I believe mood plays such a large role and I am often not necessarily in a great mood.

** Approach 1 **

This was one such day - had a really shitty previous day at work, woke up late, and felt groggy. As I made my way down into the subway, I passed a rather cute girl. Now, I had the desire to approach, but suddenly I recognized my excuse process: it makes for a slightly shorter trip to head down to the other end of the track, I am in a shitty mood, it's not likely to go anywhere, etc. All of these statements are ENTIRELY true. BUT, they are EXCUSES. I try to force myself to recognize these excuses and force myself to approach.

Sit down next to her, eventually pointing to the magazine she's reading and talking about some picture there... Opens well, but the train comes and we jam on in different spots... Not much I could have done short of open direct in that situation, methinks... Still proud I forced myself to approach!

** Approach 2 **

On the way out of the destination station, I glanced behind to spot that girl... and saw someone far cuter. Quickly - caught my excuse process again (oh, it's so crowded, I have to get to work, etc.). I relocate myself so she'll be close to me in line... I realize she's behind, but opening in the crowded line seems logistically iffy. We clear the bottleneck and I force myself to walk up to her as she walks (note: often when I am being a pussy about approaching, I will simply take a microstep such as move closer to the lady... one foot at a time, baby steps!). I had no idea what to say, still in a shitty mood... but think to myself "I could not talk to her and be a little disappointed for pussing out or at worst talk to her and have a failed approach - won't matter". so I open with "Hey goodmorning".

Opens well, we shoot the shit as we walk. I get her giggling a bit. There's a pause. I introduce (I believe this is important - now it goes from random chit-chat to engaged conversation). We get to the end of the subway, she's going one direction, I say I'm going the other. She pauses. Big hint - had she no interest in me, she would have left (isn't in amazing how women display these hints by not ditching you?).

I realize I have to go and pull the trigger even though I felt the interaction was very sub-par (I was the opposite of in-state haha)... I say "Hey, I have to go. But you're kinda cute. Want to grab a drink sometime?" (this wasn't delivered well. I feel like i sort of rushed it and looked away instead of giving solid EC and making it no-big-deal). She giggles and looks up and is genuinely thinking... Again, her hesitation is essentially a confirmation. I take my phone out and say "here, just put your number in and I'll call you sometime" (mistake: I should have pushed forward - how's tomorrow night? setting up a date in person makes her less likely to flake, methinks). Grab number, chat for a sec, and peace out.

** Approach 3 **

Go to work, have shitty day, get on subway to head home... Again, notice another cute girl. I had a pretty crappy day again so same situation. I didn't want to approach on the crowded subway, recognizing my pussausity, I forced myself to stand near her. I noticed all of a sudden, she started madly playing with her hair, adjusting her bag, etc. I cant' tell with certainty if is the case, but it is very useful to interpret this as me making her nervous/her making herself pretty for me. I do this. And eventually open her (some lame situational question about her e-reader... again: I believe opener does not matter. just get into that convo. one step in front of the other).

We chat for a bit, she invests herself in the convo from the start. I notice she is happy chatting away and do what I need to do to keep the convo going. There's a bit of awkward pause where she is about to start reading again...

Here, it is CRUCIAL for me to pick up the conversation FAST before the convo dies down (this used to be a big sticking point of mine. Had to teach myself - do what I can to avoid these awkward pauses and keep the convo going early on! later on, welcome the awkward pauses so she's forced to fill the void and contribute).

We BS for a bit. All the while, I recognize that we are on a subway and it is key that I get logistics (when will she get off the subway?). I need to grab her number about one stop before that (o/w the rest of the ride could be awkward if she says no plus it gives me more time to have a better interaction).

We get to one stop before I have to get off and I say what I genuinely think "you're a fucking cool girl. do you want to grab a drink sometime soon?"... she says yes... "cool. how's tomorrow? here put your number in here".

How to improve

  • maybe should have gone direct sooner with second girl.
  • should have set up a date with second girl.
  • should have qualified third girl a bit more

Did well

  • forcing myself to approach when not in state and not allowing myself to pussy out with excuses
  • approaching while going about my day !!
  • taking things one step at a time
  • not worrying about doing the perfect approach, just giving it a shot

Questions/comments/feedback appreciated! :)