Gaming as a passion/hobby?

CamJuan · 2013-05-27T18:25:52+00:00

Do whatever you want and don't give a fuck what other people think about it. Video games are awesome. So is meeting beautiful women. I see no necessary contradiction between these two.

recyclablebantha · 2013-05-27T04:58:34+00:00

Not about it as a part of pickup, but about it as part of the life and hobby of a leader.

(Note: this is coming from the point of view of someone who used to love playing video games, occasionally going on weekend binges.)

Here's my problem with it. Video games, for many people, equals escapism. Any time you spend plugged in, is time you're not really connected to the real world.

I notice that as I become more social, I tend to unplug more. And when I come out of a break up, I'm either motivated to fucking DO something real with my life, so I unplug, or I escape from reality by plugging in more.

For too many people, video games means not really connecting with people or reality. It means escaping from reality and people. Even if you want to talk about games you play with other people online, it's not the same as engaging people in real life: the social rules of engagement in online games are distorted & skewed.

So how does this relate to the life and hobbies of a leader? It really doesn't. At least not as an activity that takes too much time away from actually living and experiencing the real world. As long as engaging in it, doesn't take one away from one's life for too long, it's fine, though.

Lodekim · 2013-05-27T01:53:22+00:00

As a hobby it's generally fine. So many people play something that few people even blink if you call it a hobby.

As a passion, that depends. If you find someone with a similarly geeky passion, maybe. Outside of that it is gonna depend on how you can present it. If you're one of those guys who gets paid to play, or makes money from youtube videos you might be able to swing it. If you just really like playing games and aren't competitive, well: imagine a girl tells you movies are her passion. What she means is she likes renting movies and sometimes going to the theater. How would you view that as a passion?

HLB217 · 2013-05-27T01:39:12+00:00

Speaking from a purely AFC perspective, I don't talk about my passion for video games when I'm trying to connect with people who aren't into it. I work IT, and that already stereotypes me into a corner.

I'm the former guild leader of a 25 man Heroic guild that had over 400 active members on one of the smaller servers that we completely dominated, and I try to carry the lessons I learnt from dealing with people over the internet into my lifestyle IRL, and often the patience and communication skills ARE transferable, just alter the source material. Just remember that nobody is going to want anything to do with you for any reason other than your personality. I've forgotten this at times and gone full "raid leader mode" as my buddy calls it, and ended quite a few formerly amicable relationships badly, but that's something I'm working on myself.

Also, most people will hear you say "oh you led people to kill dragons on the internet" and react in a mostly negative manner. At least in my experience it's seemed to be the case.

2013-05-27T02:16:23+00:00

Active hobbies are usually viewed as more attractive. Things like sports or rock climbing are usually taken in better light.

That being said, it's all about how you own it and calibration. Certain girls aren't going to care at all about your games and others will. With the ones who do care play it up it'll be the same as any other DHV.

With the ones who don't, it's up to you to decide whether you want to switch your hobbies or the girls you're after.

AlwaysLateToThreads · 2013-05-27T03:18:10+00:00

I've used games as a tool to get multiple girls to come over to my place. Just make sure you got some alcohol and you can have really fun nights!

Some girls won't like games, so you could always think of another reason to get her to come over, such as drinks or guitar. Girls love drinks and guitar.

I've learned that my personal time spent gaming is better spent working out, but games are another tool you can use to get girls to come over and to have fun.

bigvolo · 2013-05-27T06:01:00+00:00

Huge tip: Dont tell girls you play/played WoW in your life and you stand a much better chance. On the other hand, First person shooters are much more sexy (such as counter strike) :D

avg2pua · 2013-05-27T08:41:53+00:00

This is something I deal with all the time despite not playing many games anymore.

Overview: 13-16: Come home, play games, eat, play games, bed. Got good enough at TF2 to get to the semi finals of an iSeries event. Plenty of people to hang out with at school, but only 2 or 3 friends I'd see occasionally out of school.

16-18: Slight decrease in gaming, in that I'd started being invited out to parties, but that really only took up my Fridays and maybe one other day to hang out with friends per week.

18 onwards: Went to university, gaming got completely overtaken by my social life. Only play sports games regularly now, but am definitely still a big nerd at heart.

Now, my nerdy past comes up quite regularly, mainly because I'm still a nerd at heart. I still wish I had time to play awesome MMO's and competitive online games, and so I still keep up and play every now and again, which gets noticed, so it's a topic I have to breach regularly.

I wear it as proudly as possible, because it's not something I'm ashamed of, but it is not a first date revelation. I have to be careful because I'm a web developer, and pulling both of those out of the bag at the same time brings up red flags, and given some of the examples I've been given I don't blame them.

The key is to introduce these things after it is completely clear to them that they aren't going to have a major impact on your life. If they ask you what you did last week and you say 'Well I had work every day, but I had drinks on Tuesday, played Tennis Wednesday, had too much work on Thursday and then I had a day off Friday and was shattered and feeling lazy, so I sat at home all day in a dark room, ate pizza and played video games, it was amazing."

I've spent a whole day doing one of the most socially taboo things on the planet, and the worst response I'd get is 'haha you're such a loser!', after which I'm going to have sex. I can live with that.

The key to this is to actually not develop the negative traits associated with gaming. Unfortunately while the gaming stereotype doesn't apply to many, it's one of the most easy to prove stereotypes in my experience. You should not be proud of taking on any of the negative traits of the 'gamer', however much you love games. Not because a girl won't like you, but because they aren't things to be proud of. If you make it clear that you are an exception to the rule, only the most superficial of girls will care at all.

The topic also regularly gets breached again when they realise that playing games doesn't mean FIFA. I am always very open about the fact that I played a lot of games when I was a kid, and that even though I don't have time to play seriously anymore I still enjoy games and make time to play a little when I can. It's never been received anything other than positively, even by girls who were very...polarising when I told them about how often I used to play games.

I hope that helps, and feel free to ask any more questions.

If you want me to give advice from the 'still regularly plays games' standpoint I can, but this post would've been way too long to put it all together.

HandsomestNerd · 2013-05-28T00:02:01+00:00

I'm going to say this. I was an avid gamer till 2 months ago (Been gaming since young. I'm 23 almost 24 now). In recent years I played SC2 and DotA2. I used to play 20 to even 30+ hours a week. At my worst, I played 40 hours of DotA2 a week on top of full time school.

Why I quit? My girlfriend of 1 year emotionally cheated on me with a friend and broke up with me. Now, whether what she did was "right" or "wrong" is a philosophical question all by itself, so won't get into that. But essentially she wasn't happy with me and I'd say more than 50% of our problems stemmed from my gaming habits (directly or indirectly). Ironically it was SC2 that got us started talking to each other, haha.

1) I didn't give her enough attention and good conversation...there was always that guy that was "all ears".

2) I stopped giving her sex- Yes, she was HOT. But at the same time I was just too obsessed with gaming that I took the "easy route".

3) Things became boring - I stopped taking her out to do fun things. I would play DotA2 and she would play League of Legends in our separate rooms. Again, "easy route".

4) Apparent lack of direction in life - Yes I was finishing the last semester of engineering school but I suppose it appeared to her (probably subconsciously) that I had no other interests. I do have other hobbies, but as I would feel lazy after school, I took the "easy route"

The fact that she tended to "bottle" issues inside herself instead of bringing them up and me being a terrible listener did not help. I don't blame her for that as I now try to see it as "The man should know what makes a woman happy." There were other problems and other sources of problems, but I won't get into that.

ANYWAY. I've now gone almost cold turkey on gaming (only play casually if I'm at a friend's house) and trying to channel my spare time and energy elsewhere.

TL;DR I took her for granted and got lazy. Don't make the same mistake I did.

puaSenator · 2013-05-30T02:15:37+00:00

Whenever a girl asks about gaming as a hobby, I just tell them the truth, "Yeah, I'm a huge closet nerd. Most people that meet me wouldn't believe I used to play competitive Counter Strike"

However, the reality about gaming all the time is it tends to reflect what you're currently doing in life. I know when life is good, I'm hardly on Reddit and playing video games. When I'm in a slump, gaming tends to go back.

There is certainly a correlation, I just don't know how much one causes the other.

Honestly, I wish my time consuming hobbies were engineering and extreme sports...

lieutenantslothrop · 2013-05-27T03:07:06+00:00

It's OK to play video games. It's not OK to have video games for a "passion."

Title	Gaming as a passion/hobby?
Author	1ntoTheRa1n
Upvotes	4
Comments	17
Date	May 27, 2013 1:28 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1f41q1/gaming_as_a_passionhobby/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/gaming-as-a-passionhobby.1352989 https://theredarchive.com/post/1352989

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