HELP! I have a 3 part problem to my social interaction

ChristopherPlank · 2013-12-23T20:48:44+00:00

Do some research on controlling your internal state and anchoring. You can use visualization and conditioning to bring up the right emotional state to help you in any situation.

Basic method:

Think of a time when you felt socially comfortable and confident. Imagine looking at yourself in that situation, and then imagine stepping into your body so you can see what you saw, hear what your heard, and can feel the feelings of comfortable confidence in your body.
As you begin to notice the feeling in your body, notice where it starts, where it goes and where it spreads inside you. If you notice the feeling starting to leave your body, imagine it circling back to where it starts, so that the feeling intensifies. Feel the calm confidence become stronger and more intense and notice how awesome it feels!
As you continue to feel and amplify the feelings, anchor it to a movement and or phrase, such grasping your right wrist with your left hand and imagine saying "Let's go!"
Think of another time when you felt calm and confident and repeat the process.
Once you've done this a few times, take a moment to think about what you had for breakfast today, it something else totally random.
Trigger the anchor (ie, grab your wrist and imagine saying "Let's go!") and notice what happens. Give it a couple seconds... how do you feel now? Confident and calm?
Now imagine your future self in a situation where you meet an attractive girl. Step into your body and imagine seeing, feeling, and experiencing the situation from your own perspective, but simultaneously trigger the anchor to bring up the feeling of calm confidence. Notice how that changes the way you imagine feeling in the situation.
Go out and actually put yourself in that situation: go meet attractive girls! You can even trigger the anchor before you charge in to introduce yourself.
Practice feeling confident and calm enough times, and you'll start doing it automatically without having to think about.

Enjoy!

K1ng_W1zard · 2013-12-23T09:40:02+00:00

Hey man, I know how that goes. I have to do that with my mood, it swings a lot. You're approaching it well though and it sounds like you're on the right track.

You may want to eliminate "awkward" from your vocabulary.

OrangeExpress · 2013-12-23T17:41:13+00:00

Points 2 and 3 happen to me so much!

Hanging around with people I'm really comfortable with or doing fun social games such as talking to strangers, strong eye contact will get me out of the "bad mood" faster, but somedays I'll just be in my own bubble with no way to get out.

I think it's more related to being an introvert than "awkward" itself. Most of the times you become "awkward" when you spend too much time in your head and then over-analyze the first steps you make socially, when in reality, there are two things to remember:

If you're an introvert and enjoy silence (like I do), embrace the silence with confidence, there's nothing wrong with not talking all the time, if you have nothing to say it's way better to just listen than thinking about something to say. Especially because if you have to think then it won't come out naturally, and you don't want that!

NoBullshitMachine · 2013-12-24T00:15:59+00:00

Are you me?

I am the exact same way. On all 3 points. Let me give you an example of a good day and a bad day for me. Good day: I wake up early at the crack of dawn and immediately jump up and start cooking breakfast and getting ready. I hop in the car and head out to the mall or somewhere where I can find some girls to do some of my AA challenges. Ill get further into a social groove, and actually sometimes will become pretty damn fearless. Ill go home, workout, rest for a bit, and then maybe go out again at night time.

Now, a bad day: My alarm goes off but I am so tired that I just will not get up. I sleep in late. Often times untill noon or later. I get up and my minds slow and sluggish. I get on the computer or read a book. The day passes. Finally I decide to try to go out. Sometimes I'm able to force myself to turn it around. Other times my mind is so far below where I need it to be that I simply cannot get started.

As you can kind of see, how I wake up in the morning plays a big part. And if I immediately do something social, that's very important. Theres been times when I've started off in a bad day, and then forced myself to just start opening people, and actually ended up in a great state. Other times its just not happening.

My advice would be this: Find one habit that gets you started every day. For me that would be getting up early and going out immediately. And, how you said that you have to start over everyday... Its true in one sense. You gotta get started each day. But its untrue in another sense. Because social momentum is a thing and I'm sure you've experienced it. If you just sat at home every day for a month, you'd have a HARD time getting started. But if you spent an entire month diligently creating your best possible state every single day, your gonna be able to get into state MUCH easier and faster than before.

Even experienced PUAs have to do this. Like, I remember reading some who have to open every set on their way to do a bootcamp so they are actually ready to teach people. Or people have to open sets on their way to the bar in order to build up beforehand. You just gotta put in the work! :)

HELP! I have a 3 part problem to my social interaction

1: I am almost exclusively intimated by girls who I find physically attractive. As soon as I see a girl and give her a thumbs up in the looks department, its game over for me.

3: I have a roller coaster effect that ties in problem #2. I have good days and bad days. On good days, I can work towards my god mode of the day at a faster rate. On bad days, it's VERY difficult to break past the starting awkwardness and all hopes seems to be lost for the entire day to be honest.

Comments

Title	HELP! I have a 3 part problem to my social interaction
Author	Zealous_Zucchini
Upvotes	2
Comments	12
Date	December 23, 2013 9:33 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1tirqc/help_i_have_a_3_part_problem_to_my_social/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help-i-have-a-3-part-problem-to-my-social.1363478 https://theredarchive.com/post/1363478