Help with FB

Rainadraken · 2018-07-19T14:05:14+00:00

I've been the female in this scenario before. Chances are something is going on in her life that you aren't close enough to talk to about it. In my case it was issues with health/depression/stress/family issues. My FWB at the time ended up messaging me to the effect of "Can I ask you something that might be random?" "We haven't been talking like we were, Are you doing OK and whatnot?" It made a huge difference, not just between him and I, but also helping me understand how badly I was affected by what was going on in my life. Alternately, she could be fucking someone else. Even if she is, that gives you brownie points.

Vaginuh · 2018-07-19T14:59:55+00:00

A lot of people are going to suggest you ignore her or follow this "three step solution to getting a girl to be interested again" or whatever kind of douchey bro-advice floats around these pickup circles.

This is textbook relationship stuff. Not about picking her up or subconsciously tapping into her sexual arousal by touching her arm while she's distracted or any of that bullshit. She's getting a hold of you, she's cancelling, and you're feeling in the cold. There's no psychology trick that's going to mend your self-evidently broken relationship. Stop wondering what the deal is and ask her.

"Hey, you've been getting a hold of me to hang every few days and cancelling every time. I'm not feeling great about being cancelled on so much. What's the deal?"

Bam. Done.

If she bullshits you, tell her you like ger but you don't want to waste your time. Why? Because you do like her but you don't want to waste your time. You wanna know a neat seduction protip? Fucking honesty.

If she bullshits you, be honest with her more. "Doesn't sound like you're aboit this, I'm out. If you're busy, tell me, but don't disrespect my time."

People will probably tell you that you'd be too insecure for being honest, she'll look down on you for being open about your feelings, blah blah blah. Those people are the kind of people that are constantly fighting with their girlfriends or can fuck a 7/10 bimbo but can't figure out why they can't lock down a solid 8.5/10 for a girlfriend because they're too thick to see how shitty their personality is. Be honest or don't, not up to me, but either way please, for the sake of humanity, don't be a twat.

Just so you know, OP, I'm not mad at you. Just annoyed with the quality of this sub sometimes.

CompleteMortgage · 2018-07-19T16:39:37+00:00

So, she texts me again just now. "Drink?"...

smarteinstien · 2018-07-19T14:32:02+00:00

Curious to see an update for this in 10 days.

CompleteMortgage · 2018-07-19T15:17:18+00:00

Thanks for the responses guys. In regards to being straight up, before her latest flake yesterday, and just after the one before that, I asked her "Are you alright?" and was given 7 replies at once about how she's been having a shit few weeks, just wanted to be alone etc. I told her "I'm more than just a walking penis - If you ever want a chat I'm here" and she responded gratefully. But just before that we had the most outrageously horny text convo and she was basically begging me for sex (I was busy). The following day comes and she's busy. Lol.

I do like her, as a friend. If she is going through some shit then I'm more than happy to help her. She even opened up to me a month or so ago about her fucked up ex.

I think it's a given that I don't initiate any more convos. What do you guys think I should say when she suggests another meet? Judging by these comments, Radio Silence probably won't get the result I want. I do feel that she needs some space to sort her shit out, though. Maybe I'll just keep saying I'm busy for a week or so?

peperonimacaroni · 2018-07-19T14:45:01+00:00

I think adding more distance is not going to work, what you need is to face it calling her up on it. Ask her if she's doing ok, cause she's been canceling all your appointments lately and you have to be able to organize your time

skinisblackmetallic · 2018-07-19T14:29:43+00:00

Canceling that many times in a row is grounds for permanent dismissal.

DrBalance · 2018-07-19T14:26:45+00:00

Be 'busy' when she puts out the feelers. She's checking that you're waiting at her beck and call, which you are.

I'd probably flat out block her for a few weeks so you aren't tempted at all to reply. Unblock at the end but still wait for her. But overall just move on. She's a timewaster.

Fwest3975 · 2018-07-19T15:57:29+00:00

Tell her you have a three strikes policy. If she tries to bust through, make her jump through hoops to get to you.

NorrisChuck · 2018-07-19T17:35:15+00:00

I had similar situation, Next time try hinting her or telling her you are with another girl. That's all there is. Girls brain works in a really messed up ways for some reason.

pr3me · 2018-07-19T19:39:54+00:00

Make definite plans, and way earlier than fucking "what you up to 2night"? That just shows her that you have nothing going on in your life. Make a date by asking her when she's free to get together, and if she cancels, don't contact her again. Do not chase her, let her come to you. If she wants to see you, tell her to bring a bottle of wine over to your place and cook together, don't even waste your time going to her place. If she keeps texting you, try to set a date 2 or 3 times, after that, DO NOT try to set a date, send a few messages back and forth and tell her it was nice cathing up but you have to go and tell her to keep in touch.

But if you only want to fuck her call her after 2am if you're in a bar or something lol

CompleteMortgage · 2018-07-22T19:20:30+00:00

I thought I'd give you guys an update. So, the day she said "Drink?" I didn't respond for about an hour, and then received "I'm sorry I've been off lately. I'll make it up to you tonight if you're about.." so I couldn't say no really. Spent the night, had a drink, had great sex. I'm now gonna play the pull game and be less available to her. To be honest money is somewhat tight so it's not a bad idea haha. I feel like I'm back in control somewhat.

doferlla · 2018-07-19T14:07:35+00:00

When I had a FWB I used to straight up text her only when I was drunk and only when I wanted sex later I realized I really wasn't attracted to her and was just doing it because it was convenient. But it could be different with you. think you should trust your instincts. You have been with this girl for 3 months. Did she change any other way? When u guys had sex did u guys drink first or talk or was it just straight into sex? Maybe she found someone and REALLY IS soft nexting you. Or maybe she is spending time with her sister and lost track of time. Now I'm not saying overthink cuz then that's not good either. If you think that nothing else changed and when she hits you up again, maybe say that you can't do today but maybe tomorrow and try to agree on another day before hand. And do that way she has "more time to prepare and organize her schedule" if she really does want to meet up again. If she still fakes, then find someone else.

Remember: no one is indispensable.

Good luck!

JacobFrank1 · 2018-07-19T14:06:40+00:00

Yea i'd suggest just ignoring her for a while. She seems to want to fuck with you a little bit to see if you're too into her or something along those lines.

Title	Help with FB
Author	CompleteMortgage
Upvotes	44
Comments	31
Date	July 19, 2018 1:15 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/905qtn/help_with_fb/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help-with-fb.1450179 https://theredarchive.com/post/1450179

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