Reviewed my own post history here just to see what else I'd posted in the past, and was reminded how far I've come in the last three or four years. When I found this sub, I was about 27, a virgin, kissed I think two girls, had shit game, and was a total chump with awful approach anxiety.

I moved to a larger city about three years ago and tried to hit the ground running. Hit up clubs, got active on Tinder, even had a semi LTR. Got enough numbers that I stopped caring about them, have kissed/made out with upwards of 20 women, slept with seven (including two on the same day once, not a threesome but still), and kino, agree/amplify, comfortability talking/joking about sexual topics, etc. have all completely become second nature to me. I'm a far more social, charismatic person and most of this change has been from incorporating what I've learned from this sub and Models (with a nod to Mystery Method and The Game, which I found inspiring but not quite my flavor).

I just moved again, cross country. Was able to land a job within my field within a month of getting in town. I've gone out with two women so far (f-close with the first on date #2, the second gal was not my type), but haven't been overly aggressive as I'm still getting kind of settled in, and money was tight early on.

Anyway here is where I'm stuck. The last time I had oneitus was about six years ago. I dodged a crush or two since then, but basically I thought I was avoiding oneitus by doing a good job of dating around, keeping my options open, and if I was legit interested in a girl then giving her some serious pursuit instead of pussying around (hence the one relationship I did get into).

I'm second guessing the reasoning behind my success in avoiding oneitus for such a long time now. I'm concerned it was just because I wasn't around the kind of gal I fall for on any kind of a regular basis for these past few years.

I work with this chick (could I begin this with any worse introduction to the story?) who meets all the old criteria I used to look for: brunette and fairly petite, plus enjoys a lot of stuff I really find attractive - loves to travel and actually does, is well read, has a healthy level of nerd-ish interests, etc. Worse, we have a really great chemistry in the office, and the one time my team went out after work too. I don't really know that I can "turn it off" or that I even should, or that I even want to, because this is just who I am now. I also treat the other gals on my team pretty much the same, but I'm not sure how much that helps because this gal is the only single one.

If I were working at like a coffee shop or a call center or something I'd probably just say, fuck it, and ask her out just to get this out of my system. I don't mean that I'm just looking to get a quick lay, she's fucking smart and hilarious and I enjoy the back and forth we have at work. I mean get it out of my system like pull the trigger and see where the chips land. But in a professional, office environment, that seems like suicide, regardless of the outcome. I'm a big proponent of don't dip your pen in the company ink. But here I am thinking about it. It doesn't help that two of the other girls on our team are married to other co-workers in the office.

She's also the assistant manager on my team, so technically I'm her subordinate, too. Just to really paint the picture here.

I've been at this new job here for two months now. At first I just kinda enjoyed being around her more than I expected, and then that hasn't faded the way it was supposed to.

Do I just ignore this/assume it will fade away eventually? I think if I was reading this post that's the advice I'd give.

I think she is attracted to me, but I've also spent the last three years to assume attraction. So that might be suspect.

I've really become confident in so much of myself and so much of life these last few years. I feel confident about the decisions I make and I manage confidence even though awkward situations. This all translates to being confident around her, while she seems to exhibit a similar confidence herself around me (a ton of eye contact between us, that we hold, and then just start laughing at each other, for example).

I'm just not too confident about what to do with the hand I think I've been dealt here.

I've written a lot, too much, and not sure what else to say or what kind of responses/questions to expect. I'm obviously posting this here because I learned everything I know here, have put it to use, and now I could use a little help. A part of me wants someone to give me permission to ask this chick out without fucking things up, and that feeling of wanting permission from someone else feels like a fucking big red flag but I don't know what to do with it or about it.

I'm also 31 and feel like this cross country move was my last big move, the company I work for is one where I could stay at for awhile, I'm hoping to buy a house for the first time this summer, and for the first time in my life I'm thinking that settling down might be on the radar for me. So there's that context too.

Ok, I'm done.

Give me some help, Seddit.