How can I handle this internally?

appolonysian · 2024-08-10T04:17:02+00:00

First off, I’m going to say that what you’ve done for yourself and your life is objectively good: bettering your health and financial standing FOR YOU is totally amazing.

But what you’re missing here is that the mindset of doing it FOR a woman is proof that you view yourself as below them (possibly even on a subconscious level) - you felt you had to earn their affection and presence in your life.

Real attraction isn’t based in that. Unless wealth and health contributes to a radical self belief and esteem, it’s an exercise in putting the cart before the horse.

Guys that you mention are vexing precisely because they’re living contradictions to the narrative society sells: “you have to become X Y and Z to get a woman”; yet those dudes don’t to anything and “somehow” things work out - but that’s exactly why things do - because they’re not trying. For whatever reason, they honestly have the belief that they are equals with these women they’re with, and don’t have to do shit for a woman’s affection.

Men with inborn and unshakable confidence are incredibly rare, and that’s why women stick to them, even if they’re not “societally admirable” guys.

I got carried away here, but essentially here’s what’s up: externals may get your foot in the door, but confidence is what keeps you there. Cultivate that shit in any way you can.

zebekias · 2024-08-10T15:03:37+00:00

It’s so difficult to convince you to really believe you can have the women of your dreams (I was no exception) when all of your life’s experience says otherwise.

The turning point for me was having a few experiences that contradicted the little naysayer voice in me. Once I got over that hill, I really did believe I’m good enough for any girl I want, and that in itself is “game”. At that point it really is a matter of going after the girls you want.

The problem is how to get to that point. For me the path went through what I call “paying my dues”. Thousands of days studying inner & outer game and practicing, financial success, dressing and grooming better, travel.

Based on what you described I believe you have a good foundation to get the woman of your dreams. You have to commit to doing whatever it takes to become the most attractive version of yourself. Once you have some good results under your belt, you will also believe you can get the woman of your dreams.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-08-10T13:05:47+00:00

If you are suffering oneitis don’t jump to conclusion that “no attractive woman is truly single.”

This exactly what women like to parrot “all good guys are taken” while us guys know this is far from the truth.

McPigg · 2024-08-10T23:24:24+00:00

Can you rationally grasp that your feelings are bullshitting you ("no attractive woman is single") or is this a true belief you hold?

Velvettouch89 · 2024-08-11T02:41:55+00:00

So, I've been in your shoes.

I was bullied by girls in elementary school through high school. It wasn't until college I had a glow up. I'm 34m now. I'm married to a beautiful sweet Colombian woman who is the best thing to ever happen to me. It took allot of time to develop my inner game and it came from Tony Robbins Awaken the Giant Within and Paul McKenna Hypnotherapy recordings. I have anchors on my fingers for my positive confident states. I focus daily on my success of my life, and even in my success in interactions with people. I very rarely will focus on a bad thing in my life but I always try to stop myself, I will not beat myself up for not remembering that hot blondes name at the counter. I laugh and say, What was your name again?" It happens.

I also learned that life is not all about trying to sleep with every woman I interact with. Sometimes it's good to have hot friends who you can be in there presence and absorb the energy. Good looking people have a different energy about them and I like that. Where they're a dude or a girl, it's just different.

Another thing I've learned, is that not every woman will be attracted to you, whether she's single or not. It's just genes, evolution, traits, hormones, pheromones etc. Some women don't do it for you but yeah, they're good looking. So, don't beat yourself up. It's life, you will not win them all

When you're dating a woman, she's never your girl, it's just your turn. If she is with you for the rest of your life, then you've got a good turn. If she's with you for a week, then you got a good turn, time to let the other guy get a turn. You don't own a woman and you never will.

Last, is people love talking about their significant other. She may really like you as a person, a friend and wants to introduce you to her husband because she thinks you all could be friends. It happens. Don't be upset about it, take it as a badge of honor that she finds you cool and worthy enough to be a part of her life.

Just my keyboard psycho analysis, I'm from what you've said, I gather that you may see women as solely an opportunity to use for sexual pleasure. I would encourage you to stop watching porn, and take some time away from trying fuck every woman you meet, and just be nice, courteous, and respectful. You will find your sanity and happiness increase. The first step to getting a woman is being happy and content with yourself and your own life. Once you have that mastered, you will be able to treat the women well, and that is what seduction is all about; giving them the best time of their life

Title	How can I handle this internally?
Author	fondlemysausage
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	August 10, 2024 2:59 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1eoiowm/how_can_i_handle_this_internally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-handle-this-internally.1526862 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526862

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