How can you avoid being the nice guy?

DaygameCoach · 2017-05-12T21:40:24+00:00

Being friendly isn't what makes you a nice guy. I'm friendly and don't have an LJBF problem.

Be clear in your intent, lead, have a backbone, and escalate quickly from the beginning. Also, don't accept the friends frame if that isn't what you actually want (don't be an "orbiter" who just sticks around as friend waiting for a chance)...and walk if you have to. You have to be willing to walk away (if needed).

If you need to read a book on being more direct, try Mode One by Currie. You don't actually need to "approach direct: though.

The gym is great for gaining confidence. So is going out and approaching 10 women a day.

txroller · 2017-05-13T01:29:39+00:00

girls like to know where a guy stands. they respect knowing that you are into them. So that being said. THe nice guy mode leaves them wondering what you are actually interested in. Have the balls to be upfront. If you are into them and want a sexual relationship escalate kissing them light groping lets them know... He desires me, he wants a sexual relationship believe it or not this IS what girls want. If they aren't interested THEY AREN'T interested. Move on

throwaway3456783453 · 2017-05-12T22:08:18+00:00

So if girls are actually saying to you that you're a "nice guy" in those terms, they might mean you're more like someone off r/niceguys. To avoid that is pretty simple. If you're going into every interaction with a woman only intending to get a relationship/sex out of them, and are only nice to them for this purpose, you're a "nice guy". Please stop and consider that it's incredibly hurtful to have someone you thought liked you for you turn out to just be trying to manipulate you. Learn to love yourself, and treat women as people, rather than objects to be attained.

However, if they mean that you're sweet and kind, you don't need to stop being that. Being nice makes people like you more, and makes you more likely to score (really, scientifically proven). Someone else mentioned that you might want to be outspoken, and certainly you shouldn't be agreeing with everything someone says. If they can't handle disagreement, or one of your stances is a deal breaker for them then they're not the right person for you anyway

st3roids · 2017-05-12T22:17:08+00:00

no mr nice guy from robert a. glover will get you started.

https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

you can find it online btw

TunechiOnYoTunaFish · 2017-05-13T00:10:32+00:00

Have fun, bring high energy and an "I'm the SHIT!" attitude with you everywhere you go. If you are the source of powerful, fun, positive energy, she will naturally want to be around that to feed off of it. That's when she will see you as a sexual interest. "Nice guys" are trying too hard to get a girl to like them, and they can feel it a mile away.

Think about the girls you've been attracted to in the past. Did you find them sexy, interesting, and want to have sex with them because they were super sweet to you, opened all the doors for you, arranged their schedule to spend time with you, and make you feel like you were the most important person in the world? No, you were probably attracted to them because they were fun, they were popular, they had interesting things going on in their lives (which had nothing to do with you, btw), etc. Girls want the same things in a man.

This short (3 minutes) Julien video kind of elaborates on this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iULxmr2je8w

Zetland · 2017-05-13T22:26:57+00:00

Do you have a high pitched whiny voice, many guys unconsciously talk that way when they're nervous around girls.

ASAP_JAMS · 2017-05-14T00:04:32+00:00

Punch her

letsgetrandy · 2017-05-12T21:42:12+00:00

Be confident. Be outspoken. Have opinions. Don't be too agreeable all the time. Say what's on your mind rather than swallowing down an opinion out of fear of rocking the boat.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-05-13T10:38:12+00:00

.... not give off the nice guy vibe by being friendly?

Another overlooked thing is to have clear boundaries that you stand by.

Like think of all the ways a guy might drop everything for a girl.

Stopping and staring.
Sitting by your phone waiting for replies and being Johnny-on-the-spot at replying.
Thinking about a girl all the time.
You have something you're going to do but you drop it for a girl.

Basically, the overall practice of constantly putting the needs of others ahead of your own, and never seeing to your own, is a problem.

Zetland · 2017-05-13T10:59:07+00:00

Being a nice guy isn't a problem. George Clooney seems like a really nice guy, and he's one of the most attractive men on the planet. The issue is being submissive. Women, on some primal level, want a guy who can protect them and provide for them - and "nice" is kind of the badge that gets given to guys who aren't up to that.

So going to the gym is obviously a great decision. How long have you been working out for? How's your voice too - do you sound confident and composed? And your body language?

Title	How can you avoid being the nice guy?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	45
Date	May 12, 2017 9:04 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6atzyr/how_can_you_avoid_being_the_nice_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-you-avoid-being-the-nice-guy.1424602 https://theredarchive.com/post/1424602

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