How do I be less desperate/eager?

panhandlur · 2022-06-08T09:10:03+00:00

The idea that you were more successful when you were on drugs is your addiction trying to trick you into using again. Don't listen to it. No sensible woman wants a relationship with a drugged-out 29 year-old. The ones who do, are not who you want.

vardarac · 2022-06-08T08:38:13+00:00

I've recently been writing a post on this that I've decided not to share until I actually get laid, but I think it boils down to three things:

Abundance not of success but of actively pursued and journaled opportunity. This means: Be on the grind as often as you can, write down your encounters, praise yourself for successes, and work on what you think is going wrong.
Proper emotional foundation - good social life with genuine friends and companionship. Pay close attention to your health and mood, and take breaks from approach and find close friends when appropriate. If you have a purpose you're chasing that helps, me I personally don't right now.
Skills that bring you social recognition and that help you have fun with and connect to others. Mine is a very specific hobby that I hope to expand soon, but this general principle might be expanded quite broadly and helps you feel like less of a space alien who's coddled by friends/pets/parents to shield him from the idea that he's weird.

All this is written from the standpoint of a depressed dude who simply just doesn't like himself all that much right now and consequently gets in his own head/way. I've found that it helps since I don't do the whole self-acceptance thing yet.

alextheanimall · 2022-06-08T11:48:11+00:00

I’ve got the same problem, I feel like after you make an approach, girls show interest back as a way of seeing how you will respond to the attention they gave you.

Now if you find the girl really attractive then it’s very hard not to show signs of excitement/happiness. This is where the issue lies. When girls recognise that you’re being very responsive to their actions they will think that you’re an easy fish and therefore desperate or whatever.

What I found is that it’s much easier for me to attract girls I don’t really find attractive or say they’re a 6-7/10 but nothing that makes my body tingle. Because with these girls i genuinely don’t give a shit if they leave and that drives them crazy.

I think the best way of handling this paradox as of now for me is to force myself to give attention to average girls because when the actual girls I want see me being desired by other girls that spikes their interest as well. And when the moment comes to talk with the girl I actually want I’m just going to try really hard to not show how much I’m enjoying her company and seem unphased by the fact that she wants me, because girls want a guy they need to constantly impress and not someone who will settle instantly.

2022-06-08T08:31:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-06-08T09:29:01+00:00

Have like a 3 girl rotation

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-06-08T11:12:10+00:00

I'd have some hobbies. I started skating till to my injury but I loved it. So tryna find what you could be passionate about, what could make you think all day about that one thing. your passion, your mission, your destiny however you wanna call it. Helps you to enjoy your life even more and there's a saying that goes if you're fine all by yourself you're winning at life. I still stand by that. You can also focus on your social skills like being more assertive, fun to be around, interesting, confident etc. Took me years to become better at most of these so be patient with yourself. You can also learn game, probably that's what influenced my personality the most. How to be more attractive, what attractive for girls besides how you look, how to make her engage in a conversation and so forth, there's pretty much to learn from so give it a try

BlueberryObvious · 2022-06-08T11:37:03+00:00

Ok so you need to warm them up with eye contact. Give them glances and smirks. This gets them thinking about you.

When it comes to conversation you can focus on your surroundings. So it’s like a slow build up. She wonders if you like her or not. The more time she’s thinking about you the more she convinces herself she must like you.

Also you gotta be in decent shape and try to take some care of your face and hair. This goes a long way.

Try to remember that even though she’s really hot what else is she good for other than sex. Is she a friend after sex, do you actually get along with each other. Does she treat you good?

Things to consider.

Honest_Inevitable632 · 2022-06-08T12:23:17+00:00

Focus on improving yourself and the people we attract becomes a byproduct

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-06-08T13:26:09+00:00

As the say, the self always shines through. You can't fake confidence and it sounds like this is what you are running into. Not saying you aren't confident at all, but there is something in your thoughts when you interact with some of these women that is being conveyed in your body language. You can't fake it.

Best way to deal with this is to use self amusement and abundance to get out of your head. Basically, talk to loads of people and just self amuse and have fun. Get into a flow state where your thinking mind shuts off and you will see everything is on point. You just have to get out of your head. You may be amazed as whats possible if you stretch yourself. You have to stop caring. Self amusement is the best way to do this.

Just be sure to read body language so your not making anyone uncomfortable. If so, just back off and recover from anything you may say or do that comes out the wrong way.

Otherwise, just go nuts and have fun. Stretch yourself. Try to get to a point where you don't care about the outcome. Each girl you talk to is just one out of hundreds you will be talking to in the near future. So, none are that big of a deal. Get out of your head. Self amuse, have fun, be cocky, be outrageous, be chill if you want to, be charismatic, etc...

Title	How do I be less desperate/eager?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	15
Comments	17
Date	June 8, 2022 8:27 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/v7kkfw/how_do_i_be_less_desperateeager/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-be-less-desperateeager.1257639 https://theredarchive.com/post/1257639

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