How do I become comfortable talking to people in general?

seeuwhenip · 2022-04-19T18:44:04+00:00

It takes practice, in real life and not on the internet.

There's no short cuts. Some people have a natural facility with it. Some people have to learn it.

A big part of it is dropping the presumption that you're going to be seductive, charismatic or mysterious in your conversations. Be honest and interested, and try and take note of how you're being received. You need to learn the signs of when a woman is uncomfortable, or bored or wanting to be left alone because a lot of them are taught never to be "rude" so it may not always be obvious.

Also, make actual friends with women, without any romantic interest with them. Lots of young guys have no experience communicating with women beyond a superficial level and it's really important to learn. A lot of that experiences comes from talking to people who you're not trying to sleep with.

For some guys this comes natural or it's practiced, but women are able to identify if you know how to speak to them. Even if they don't say it, they recognize red flags and become more guarded if they're not sure they can trust who they're talking to.

bela137 · 2022-04-19T19:36:34+00:00

Start with elderly ladies. They like to talk. You only have to listen. It can be neighbors or any random person you meet during any activity. Just start with anything random, e.g. a question about your environment, but then add something about your own feelings, connected to the weather. Like 'it is so sunny today, I can feel the energy in my bones' and smile. Then wait, and she will talk. Don't interrupt. Nod and encourage. 'Really, that's interesting. And what else...?'

TankComprehensive716 · 2022-04-20T08:56:21+00:00

Maybe see a therapist.

Take a deep breath, and scream out fuuuuuucccckkkk...everybooooodddyyyy...and what they think of meeeeeeeee!!!!!. As many times as it takes, for you to feel that shit through your whole body. Then focus on doing and or surrounding yourself with what you like, talk to people who have interest in what you do. And apply yourself to be the best at whatever craft you're pursuing. Some people can handle no filters conversations some people can't. You will learn to balance it out the more you do it and remind yourself, you can't please every fucking person.

Therocksays2020 · 2022-04-19T18:51:19+00:00

There is definitely hope. It starts small. Saying hello to people in public. Not having expectations of long conversations.

There will be starts and stops along the way. But it starts with a greeting

hagakurejunkie · 2022-04-19T18:59:03+00:00

Definitely pirate or buy Charisma On Command's "Charisma University". That's a really good base, then walk out the door and start talking to people. Learn some jokes, learn how to tell great stories and talk to EVERYONE.

I didn't really get good at game until I got really good at starting conversations out of thin air.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-04-19T20:26:11+00:00

Ask a woman a question. If she answers and is friendly ask a follow-up question. If you can get a woman to start talking, you’re home free. Women love to talk. If they can find someone that will listen to them, you have the start of a friendship, at least.

Dodechaedron · 2022-04-19T21:22:50+00:00

Seek advice from a professional, not from Reddit

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-04-20T07:54:09+00:00

Let go of the outcome and just focus on chatting with people. Make it a mission to talk to random people without judging yourself. It could be one sentence, then you walk off. Then, step up and do a little more. Whatever seems like a small social risk, take it. Stretch yourself each time.

You really need to get out of your head and into the moment. So make little missions to do that. Don’t over analyze it. Just try to get in the moment and when you find yourself in self judgment, turn that off. Just enjoy chatting with people and don’t get caught up in the outcome.

Zangief89 · 2022-04-30T17:15:19+00:00

You just need more experience. Most things come down to a lack of experience. Check out a game on Amazon called Chickenshit. Go out with a buddy and just play that. You’ll gain a years worth of experience points in one night

ag0908 · 2022-04-22T17:18:41+00:00

don’t be a nazi

Title	How do I become comfortable talking to people in general?
Author	GripIsEverything
Upvotes	1
Comments	11
Date	April 19, 2022 6:36 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u7c4xm/how_do_i_become_comfortable_talking_to_people_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-become-comfortable-talking-to-people-in.1261682 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261682

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