How do you all not care?

recyclablebantha · 2015-06-02T07:02:48+00:00

Anyways, he texted her today saying he was leaving for Georgia and invited her over. She was wondering if I was cool with it.

Surprisingly enough, I wasnt. It really bothered me because he's a freaking dumpster dude, I don't understand how he gets girls but he does, and she was a booty call.

and this bothers me because I don't want a relationship right now but I guess I care about this girl. She's pretty much my best friend.

It also bothers me because it generates insecurities about comparing him to myself and whether he's better than me at sex etc.

All of these things are natural feelings and it's good that you are in touch with them. Some guys accumulate a lot of trouble in their lives due to issues that remain unidentified as they go through their dating life.

We ended up talking about it for a bit and how it bothers me and I told her I needed to sleep on it.

However, this is where you need to draw the line: it doesn't have much to do with her. This is your baggage, NOT hers. You sleeping on it or not, is irrelevant. You don't own her and you guys don't even have a traditional commitment. FWBs < being BF & GF

I wanna know how this stuff doesn't get to you guys?

Unless someone is a sociopath, they're going to have feelings. The difference is, how one chooses to process those feelings.

It seems like most guys on here can bang a chick and then want them to leave immediately.

This is exaggeration.

This is really frustrating but I can't help but get jealous of that motherfucker

This signifies a need to take care of yourself. Take time for yourself and build yourself up. Work on something/improve something/develop something. And I'm talking about something that reaffirms who you are as a person. Something that validates you from within. Like developing your life's path/career/some hobby that requires skill.

And also, a phase shift is probably in order. You have to remember that things are going to end. ALWAYS. Even some "forever love" isn't going to last forever. One person will die first, even in the best case scenario. And this is an FWB situation so it should be easier, right? So instead of this business of sleepwalking through life and then freaking out when you're confronted with the End of something approaching, it's better to just face the facts:

Nothing lasts forever.
Assuming that you prefer pleasure over pain, focus on enjoying what you have, while you have it.
Focusing on fear of losing something, or other fears, robs you of the pleasure you could be having with someone, while you have them.
Focusing on fear and negative emotions, is a good way to drive away the people around you. Often, ironically, you'll hasten the loss of something you were afraid of losing.

monogamousprostitute · 2015-06-02T05:30:28+00:00

If I were you, my worries would be with using protection if she is with this "sleeze ball"...

WarSucksLetsParty · 2015-06-02T05:37:17+00:00

My uncle who is a huge playboy tells me every time I meet up with him "girls are for toying with, why not?". And really, why not? Girls who want to have fun, want to have fun with you.

You sound young dude. You're in it for the blowjobs right? Not for love. Love is a whole nother mess I'm not going to talk about. The mistake here was that you kept a FWB and felt satisfied. When you're spinning plates and you have a few girls texting you good morning and you don't have an idea which girl is texting you when you hear your phone go off, that should be your goal. I think with that, you won't feel bad about a girl slowly drifting away. Believe me.

Listen man, I guarantee it. You'll come back to this post months later when you've found several girls to play with and you'll realize how much of a joke it was sweating over a simple FWB.

Good luck!

new_cummer · 2015-06-02T06:23:42+00:00

I'm going to give it to you straight buddy, you've fallen for this chick and the bad kind of fallen. It bothers you because you have feelings for her. Do you feel the same way about other girls that Mr.Sleezbag has slept with that you know of? I'm sure you disapprove but it wouldn't upset you or make you insecure and angry because you don't have feeling for those other girls.

Unless you get other girls this is oneitis in the making and your girl sounds like a player which means it'll end very bad for you if you don't sort this out quickly. Either get out or go exclusive.

clear-sight · 2015-06-02T11:41:26+00:00

Agree with the posted sentiment. If she wants to go with this other dude she is for fucking, not spending valuable time with.

Worst thing is she knows she has the hook into you, and you are the one consumed by the relationship. You seem like a sensitive guy, which I don't think is a bad thing. Walk away from her rather than play with a loaded gun, which is what she is. See if you can get one for the road off her.

xSick · 2015-06-02T15:14:42+00:00

May I ask how you attained this FWB situation? I'm still learning. Upvoted

acetokyo · 2015-06-03T02:23:10+00:00

It sounds like you should get your goals straight, as with any girl. You either want a FWB, a relationship or a friend. There's no in between. If you chose FWB then getting your emotions involve is a big mistake. This involves unconscious things like spending too much time with her, or cuddling etc. Boundaries has to be drawn and you have to be strict but mature about it.

If you invest too much time and emotions, you will feel like she belongs to you but she doesn't. But, the fact that she asks means she might have something going for you.

This video by James Marshall has some tips on how to maintain that boundary. It helped me quite a bit.

PowerSeductionWar · 2015-06-02T12:12:53+00:00

Ok so you haven't conquered your own insecurities while some on here have.

What's so hard to get?

Becolt · 2015-06-02T16:01:58+00:00

Not to raise up hopes, but what if her story is a fabrication? A way of gauging whether this FWB thing might turn into more? I don't know how strong a possibility it is, but it ought to be a consideration.

Title	How do you all not care?
Author	Axelyager
Upvotes	9
Comments	16
Date	June 2, 2015 5:27 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/386kkx/how_do_you_all_not_care/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-all-not-care.1389060 https://theredarchive.com/post/1389060

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