How do you find the balance between playing it cool without seeming too disinterested?

Long_Restaurant1931 · 2022-06-15T15:24:10+00:00

I think your approach is great and I wouldn’t change a thing. In the long run, you’ll thank yourself for your priorities of values. Don’t let it go overboard, but I think you’re good to go.

Only_Commercial_774 · 2022-06-15T16:03:44+00:00

You better get your testosterone up because you’re gunna miss out on some sex

premedchunsa · 2022-06-15T17:18:44+00:00

Honesty, you’re doing great. Just make sure to show her affection when she deserves it.

PatientAssociation62 · 2022-06-15T22:25:31+00:00

I struggled with it too...I don't really think about how to "act" anymore. My disinterest in flaky women who give me mixed signals is far from being an act. I guess the best advice to give would be to match/mirror her interest. Flaky interest? Give her disinterest. Definite interest? Escalate.

There is this girl at work, knockout strawberry blonde. Every dude just drools and fawns all over her. She was giving me the "mixed signals" bit. I decided not to "bite" and it just drove her nuts. Girls like dudes that are a bit of a challenge, it sub-communicates high value.

caesarfecit · 2022-06-15T18:27:35+00:00

Here's how I do it.

Only give direct sexual attention/affection as a reward. She has to earn that shit or at least send the right signals.
When I do give sexual attention, I don't half ass it, but I also don't push things to the limit. Always leave them wanting more, rather than throwing the brakes on you. Enter action with boldness and don't get greedy.
Be unapologetically sexual, but not openly horny either. The secret to sexual tension is arousal without intent. You start showing intent, she starts figuring out how to keep the upper hand. You don't show intent, and she keeps guessing.

To me the secret to proper sexual escalation is to treat your sexuality like a gift, not a burden. A gift that she earns by playing her role in the dance.

Another secret is to use eye contact.

Ultimately the key to being sexual as a man is knowing when to be indirect and when to be direct and making sure there is a clear contrast between the two.

ShortStuffV2 · 2022-06-15T16:32:01+00:00

You got that high status "oh yeah well what else you got going on" attitude

If I were in your position I guess I'd make an effort to only flirt after you identify to you both what it is you like about her as a person

TwentyDW · 2022-06-15T22:26:57+00:00

I'm in the midst of doing the same thing that you did--shifting your perspective about people and their value in order to take physically attractive people off the pedestal.

Did you do any specific excercises or meditations to facilitate that?

To answer your question, I think the trick is to flirt with the women you're interested in. That way, they know you're interested.

atomant88 · 2022-06-16T04:54:22+00:00

just be yourself. you're overthinking this. some guys are naturally more high energy, some are more aloof. it's all good as long as you're being yourself. there is a woman out there for every guy.

i'm more high energy, some girls see it as clingy, and some girls love it. just gotta play the numbers game to find the right ones and ditch the wrong ones.

as far as sexual escalation goes; always attempt to escalate with consent. a rejection is no big deal as long as you've asked for consent. but you'll be surprised with how often girls are DTF

Title	How do you find the balance between playing it cool without seeming too disinterested?
Author	StaticNocturne
Upvotes	8
Comments	8
Date	June 15, 2022 2:53 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vcwbtu/how_do_you_find_the_balance_between_playing_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-find-the-balance-between-playing-it.1256996 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256996

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