How do you get over lust driven oneitis(es) to date more effectively?

Russellx2000 · 2018-03-15T12:46:17+00:00

The more you expose yourself to women, the less lust you'll have.

phoenixLucifer · 2018-03-15T14:10:35+00:00

Starting at 18, I've followed my lust had sex with nearly 100 different women. From my experience it's not really worth it, it's just a quick high that can turn into a bad habit. I ended up becoming addicted to satisfying my lust and went from wanting to have sex with women to, needing to (it could be I was seeking self validation). I damaged a lot of relationships, risked friendships, and developed a toxic narcissism. I didn't realize any of this till now, and I am trying to fix and improve myself. That being said there was some positive experiences I gained from it but the cons outweigh the pros in my experience.

Recognizing that being hampered by lust when interested in a girl is a step in the right direction.

My advice to you is this: figure out your goal and always be honest with yourself. What do you want? If you want to have sex with a girl go ahead, but understand that it is only a short term high and not really satisfying in the long run if you are not careful. Avoid being destructive when embracing lust.

I hope this doesn't scare anyone, I don't want to. I am 25 now, and developed a good pickup game in my 7 years of having fun. I just let it get out of hand. Now I shifted my focus to long term and developing healthy relationships with women. The best part of it all is I still have plenty of time to do this.

ImJustSo · 2018-03-15T15:07:24+00:00

Nothing wrong with lust, that sexual energy drives us forward. The balance is the intellectual desire to also know this person. Women's bodies are sexy, but the intimacy of getting into their minds is far sexier on top of that. Otherwise, beating off to porn all the time is the only thing we'd need, yet we still desire women, even when there's plenty of sexy women to just look at.

Acknowledging that there's a balance between the two is the key to curbing the untoward lust and having a healthy lust for a woman instead. It also happens to make you a more attractive man, since you're going to naturally desire and question the whole package you're investing in. Being curious about a woman's body and mind makes her feel sexy and in turn makes you desirable.

The balance and being able to express your desire and curiosity in regards to the mental and physical is what develops a physical and intimate relationship. Take, for example, a man that seems only interested in the emotional and intellectual parts of a woman and never presses her for physicality or sexual desire. What is he? A friend. A friend is not sexy, they're your friend. They're someone that's different than the physical intimacy you want from another person.

So expressing both in balance is what creates that sweet spot that leads to sweaty, hot, passionate fuckin! Both people's physical and intellectual lust sated equally and reciprocal.

Blackmagic213 · 2018-03-15T16:26:18+00:00

When you are young and inexperienced, you can't fight that lust as much...the only other course of action is to use it.

How can you use it, you ask?

By always having or striving to have 2 chicks you're seeing at the same time. That satisfies the lust you have and diffuses your overeagerness as you have to be attentive to 2 chicks.

And if you don't have the chance to have 2 yet, strive to. Having that mindset and striving towards it will help temper the excessive lust that a typical younger man has.

PUAnerrd · 2018-03-15T20:12:50+00:00

This is a very honest question. It's a good question. Very self aware, despite your age. Good work. I don't have anything to add sadly, I'm not the one to ask for this. Just wanted to compliment haha

tab13092 · 2018-03-15T17:28:18+00:00

Even recently (just getting back in to the dating game after a LTR) I've caught lust oneitis. Don't honestly miss much of the "connection" we had but just that they were attractive.

I've managed to let it go pretty easily/quickly; I figure if you attracted someone who in your eyes is very physically attractive that you can do it again no problem (well, you get my point)

HighwindMark2 · 2018-03-15T22:51:24+00:00

Get rejected.

Title	How do you get over lust driven oneitis(es) to date more effectively?
Author	xmt477
Upvotes	19
Comments	17
Date	March 15, 2018 12:08 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/84ly16/how_do_you_get_over_lust_driven_oneitises_to_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-get-over-lust-driven-oneitises-to-date.1443167 https://theredarchive.com/post/1443167

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