How do you practice attraction when you're almost never attracted?

ultrasuperthrowaway · 2013-10-30T12:45:24+00:00

Hi I'm near your age, I think most people on this site are half our age so they can't really relate. I get what you are going through though. I had an incredible fling with a girl who was very firey and I thought nobody else was even close to the way she was. Bottom line is she is not that special. It seemed special to you because circumstances made her into something more than she was. Tastes also change, now I don't even look at a woman unless she works out daily AND makes 6 figures. If women expect us to be successful we should expect the same!

Psycho chicks turn you on because of the unexpected, and when it ends before you wanted it to end then it's a hangover type feeling.

Rex83 · 2013-10-30T12:18:47+00:00

Actually I'd be interested in this as well. I would not go as far as 99.9%, but still. I find a lot of women objectively beautiful, but I'm "feeling" it rarely.

I tried the nofap thing, this seemed to improve things a bit, but not a lot. I had my testosterone tested as well for this reason (among others) and it didn't came out very high, but still within acceptable borders.

robesta · 2013-10-30T12:15:04+00:00

I can't relate to you at all. I'm attracted to more women than I'm not attracted to. I guess it's a good problem now that I think about it.

S_education · 2013-10-30T13:23:19+00:00

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quinxie · 2013-10-30T12:38:57+00:00

I need a bit more background into how exactly you ended up with your ex. Was it an instant attraction or was is something that crept up on you?

If it's the latter, that would be what happens to me most of the time. I meet a guy that I don't think I'd be into, I have an amazing relationship, then all of a sudden, everyone that resembles like him (whether race/ voice / facial features) becomes hyper attractive to me.

I'm mentioning this to let you know that feeling that you're solely attracted to one type does fade. You'll have to put yourself out there, but it pays off.

Good luck

2013-10-30T14:12:31+00:00

Ok, I'm not saying this is what you're facing, but in my case.. When I was desperate and hoping ANY girl would look at me twice, and I finally got laid, that girl became my 'type'. What's wrong with huge boobs and slightly chubby? Nothing really. Would go again. But then another girl earlier this year came along, and after she ditched me, I decided I was a petite + large ass man. You guessed it, that's what she was. I'm not sure what this is called, maybe conformation bias (you got that type of girl so that must be your 'type')? But now that I've been single for 6 months, I am pretty much checking out a lot of different women, and I have plenty of 'types', still don't get any, but thats another story.

johnnynoname12 · 2013-10-30T15:01:02+00:00

how much of what the OP's problem have to do with "high standards" as opposed to being "jaded"? Serious question

I sometimes (actually a lot of the times) have this problem and I'm almost identical to him

It seems like I won't ask out a girl because there is not a LEGITMATE attraction for me. Sure she is "good looking" and seems like she's smart but, I dunno,....the proverbial fireworks don't go off in my head

so should you just ask out a girl just for the vanity of it, take her out and hope to get to like her on a personal level?

kingcal · 2013-10-30T15:35:33+00:00

So go to the gym and pick up women. There are plenty of fit women. You just have to go where they are.

ben0wn4g3 · 2013-10-30T16:38:00+00:00

I find it interested you said she was a psycho. She probably had very good natural game, push and pull techniques which you now interpreted as psycho but actually created a lot of attraction. Just my 2 cents.

jmikolash · 2013-10-30T18:50:48+00:00

I've actually been struggling with this as well. Girls who actually turn me on are so far between, but when they do, it's like I've been lit on fire.

I think I just need to give more women a chance. I'm relying too heavily on visual stimulation to get me aroused, when there are many other ways to get there. Emotional connection is huge for me, almost more of a factor than physical, but its tough to get this without missing escalation windows, and getting friend zoned.

Happened with my last interest. Petite girl, 98lbs, black hair, still had nice curves though. I hadn't entered the game yet, so I seduced her completely backwards by trying to take things slow. She lost interest. I actually had run over a guy at the same time that she had texted me to come have some drinks with her. Some cosmic cock block right there.

In retrospect she wasn't person for me, but fuck did she turn me on. I've been looking for someone like that since then, but haven't hit on it yet.

slcjosh · 2013-10-30T20:01:32+00:00

move to a city where there is an abundance of tiny petite athletic girls who wear form fitting clothes. Miami and LA, San Diego, to name a few.

sedditdee · 2013-10-31T01:08:13+00:00

Three immediate thoughts:

Maybe you have a fetish. There are far stranger fetishes out there that people claim are the "only" way they can get aroused.
Maybe you have naturally low testosterone or other chemical balances that are influencing your behavior.
Maybe you would benefit from seeing a psychotherapist (not a psychoanalyst) and/or a medical doctor.

And some people don't find out that they're gay for a long, long time.

As far as I know, there's no hardwired, genetically deterministic "need" for tiny women. More likely, you've somehow conditioned yourself out of being aroused by the majority of the female population.

Sexual arousal can become a conditioned response, like anything else. See point numbers one and three.

Most importantly, allow yourself to be whatever you are. Some people just don't need sex that badly. It doesn't make them any more "dead" or "alive". In the meantime, if you really want to "practice", game everyone who you would find attractive if your sex drive was as you expect it to be. Become a psychological seducer. And if/when your "perfect ten" tiny lady finally finds you, you'll be more than ready.

2013-10-31T07:15:02+00:00

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pure_x01 · 2013-10-30T12:02:03+00:00

Quit fapping.. you will then be attracted to everything.. /r/nofap .. your mind will force you ..

DamnTheseLurkers · 2013-10-30T14:12:03+00:00

Have you considered you might like dudes?

2013-10-30T16:25:01+00:00

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HappyJerk · 2013-10-30T15:55:25+00:00

I only like tiny, petite, athletic, girls with very little body fat who dress in very sexy, form fitting clothes.

You're a fucking asshole. There are so many beautiful women who spend all day trying to become pretty for you and you're going to reject them all because you're hung up on one kind of girl? Go fuck yourself. One of the biggest problems with oneitis is that you are basically disrespecting all the other girls in the world that have amazing things to offer. Open your mind.

Title	How do you practice attraction when you're almost never attracted?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	83
Date	October 30, 2013 9:48 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1pj2p3/how_do_you_practice_attraction_when_youre_almost/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-practice-attraction-when-youre-almost.1360746 https://theredarchive.com/post/1360746

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