How much roast is Ok?

MrDownhillRacer · 2024-06-20T00:19:18+00:00

I think that teasing people is something that maintains rapport, because it cements the fact that you two are close enough to be able to poke fun at each other. Strangers don't call each other "buttface." Employees are employers don't call each other "buttface." But many pals call each other "buttface." Why? Because they're close enough to know it's in good fun. If an interaction feels a bit too formal, a bit of teasing can signal to the other person "oh, we don't have to be so uptight," and then they feel freer and more comfortable with you.

I think the secret to doing it properly is that teasing isn't supposed to offend or harm the target. It's supposed to be mutually enjoyable. So this means you shouldn't tease somebody about something they are actually sensitive about. You don't go to a chubby person and tell them that they're eclipsing the sun. You don't go up to somebody who has speech impediment and call them Sylvester the Cat. That just makes you an asshole. And the same applies in flirtatious teasing.

That's why silly/absurd teases work well. If a woman is lacking in formal education and a bit insecure about her intelligence, it's not funny to make a joke about her not understanding the complicated plot of a Pixar movie. It is funny if the woman you're talking to is a PhD biochemist, though. You know she understood Up. She knows that you know that she understood Up. You both know that you're just making a silly joke.

Other teases that work are ones that are so exaggerated that there can't be any truth to them. A woman opens up about how she got grounded in fifth grade for shoplifting a Polly Pocket toy, and you tell her how you think she needs to be on an FBI watchlist because you're convinced she's plotting a bank robbery next. She laughs because she knows you're joking and the accusation is too silly to take as a personal slight.

The better you know somebody, the better you know what buttons they are comfortable with you pushing. For example, some fat people have zero problem with their friends making jokes about their weight. Some are very sore about it. You got to know your audience and maybe stay away from the riskier teases until you know somebody well enough to know that they are cool with them. I mean, in the context of flirting, I think almost no women want to hear comments about their weight from a partner, so maybe this was a bad example. But the general principle applies.

IIIllIIlIIIIlllllIII · 2024-06-19T21:47:51+00:00

Man, personally I can't stand this kind of interaction. Probably why I suck at making friends though

Wean1eHu11 · 2024-06-19T21:36:40+00:00

Don’t bother in text until you get to know her and have a playful rapport, even then I’d keep it light to avoid miscommunication.

Same for in person until you get to know her better. Start with playful teasing on safe topics, if you find something you can riff on then you can roast a little bit more. At the end of the day some girls can’t handle more than a light sear while some love roasting and give back as good as they get, it’s up to you to read her and her reactions and figure it out

punktfan · 2024-06-20T00:27:04+00:00

If you're the type of person who naturally roasts people and uses sarcasm, be yourself. As someone who grew up in a family with this kind of humor, I totally appreciate it. That being said, roasting over text with someone you don't know is very very likely to not come across as a joke. Personally, I think it's a bad strategy for attracting new people.

DaygameCode · 2024-06-20T00:36:27+00:00

You need to learn how to get dates and getting laid with women without using the phone ever.

I never bother with texting or calling women. I don’t even ask for their number until we have already slept together, or at the very least make out first.

My advice to you, is go for instant date, go for same day kisses, and same day lays, and forget technology as part of your game.

Women are more spontaneous than you think, specially on summer and striking when the iron is hot is key. On the phone the iron is always colder.

Sarcastic on the phone is ridiculous, because the whole point of sarcasm is that it’s detected by the tonality of your voice and the delivery and timing of it.

No-Grade-5057 · 2024-06-20T13:05:39+00:00

Treat her like a woman, not like a little sister. Girls don't want to be the butt of the joke with guys they like.

Dandys3107 · 2024-06-20T07:37:58+00:00

Roasting is only fine between close people, when the other one is sure that you are joking as they placed high value on you before too. Therefore, you should implement it gradually, start small and make sure that your playful tone is very clear.

PeanutAnnual6119 · 2024-06-19T21:12:20+00:00

What's an example of things you're saying?

tilldeathdoiparty · 2024-06-19T23:50:56+00:00

Do whatever you want, set your tone, if they ghost and you knew you were walking the line, you know not to go the far next time, if they ghost you over a soft line, then they weren’t going to make it.

You’ll find your line in the sand, never apologize, double text or explain… be yourself, so that you can just be yourself if you get into a relationship.

yazzooClay · 2024-06-20T04:07:55+00:00

ngl I started watching a shit ton of comedy roasts, and kinda went off the rails with the roasting.

BarryBold8 · 2024-06-20T16:59:21+00:00

I think there’s a fine line, I am goofy and do do a lot of roasting, but it’s also important to hold frame and be respected. That comes with being respectful.

It’s a balance between hyping them way up and then little chips at it here and there so they are not on a pedestal.

Velvettouch89 · 2024-06-20T04:46:13+00:00

I heard a saying a long time ago that went, "Treat women like a bratty sister". Three thing is, I've never had a bratty sister and if I did, I wouldn't feed into her negativity but rather be tired of her and distance myself from her.

David DeAngelo wrote Cocky Comedy and his style of comedy has been twisted in this community (and added with a misunderstanding and use of Negging) and is used with a sharp, bitter, often condescending attack where people claim plausible deniability under the fallback of "It's just a joke, don't take it so hard."

The thing is, not everyone has your sense of humor, and many don't have a sense of humor, which is fine, people are entitled to that. So with the the two statements I've laid out above, ask yourself, "am I actually funny? Do people like my roasts and my jokes? Do the people I roast understand I'm joking?"

You may have a bit of bias, so try to find someone who is aware if the seduction community and flirting dynamics to run some of your material by and get a third opinion. Your can also record yourself in field to show this person, or give them a field report and ask for critique on your jokes.

Cocky Comedy is successful if used appropriately, and SPARINGLY. For example: she has a unique haircut, "You are really rocking the bed head look today. You're going to start a trend." Or " I applaud you!" Her: "For what?" "I would never let a blind person cut my hair. It's a very brave thing to do." And leave it at that. Don't bring it up later in the night. Sparingly

Text is horrendous as tone is always open to interpretation. When she asks, "Are we still on for tonight?" Add you text back, "Oh yeah. If you get there before me, grab us a table." It can be read as: "Oh... Yeah, I forgot. By the way grab us a table at I'm more than likely gonna be late because I forgot about the date." When in reality you intended the "Oh yeah" to be read in a sexy way as in "Oh, yeah.... Im going to flip you over like I did last Friday night and remind my tongue of what you taste like"

This is all I can give you without going into more specifics about your question and gathering more information. Every situation is different, and as with all comedy, timing and delivery is key

Title	How much roast is Ok?
Author	alejandrucho
Upvotes	5
Comments	17
Date	June 19, 2024 9:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dju4mc/how_much_roast_is_ok/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-much-roast-is-ok.1522070 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522070

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