How should I, as a complete beginner, deal with the fact that if I screw up I could hurt someone else?

IpickupGrandmothers · 2014-12-20T20:17:56+00:00

Not to insult you or belittle you, but worrying about these minor little nuances is actually MUCH more creepier.

It might sound weird, but hear me out.

People naturally ping emotions off each other, it's pretty much one of the biggest reasons why we socialize. We want to feel good being around other people and embrace positive emotions.

One of the biggest tenets of seduction is to self-generate positivity, and spreading out that positivity to others by socializing.

Guess what's creepier? Being the guy who wants to create value for others by spreading good emotions? Or the guy who's being awkward and off-putting because he doesn't have good social skills?

Someone who's good at seduction knows when he comes across as creepy, and therefore knows when to back off. Someone who isn't good at seduction likely won't know these things, so it's much creepier seeing as how he won't know when to back off.

While it's noble that you care about your impact on others, you're also worrying about issues that are fairly nonexistent. I mean, yeah, sometimes you might creep a girl out if you approach her. But if you're coming from the right place, that's their fault, NOT yours. Some people go out of their way to look for reasons to reinforce their own negativity.

In the long run, seduction is about creating good relationships/good sex through positivity and being socially well-adjusted. If you're coming from this place, you're actually MUCH less creepier than someone who doesn't know how to be these things. I remember someone saying once, "you know what's creepier than a guy who can get laid? A guy who CAN'T get laid!"

It's not like you're gonna be the guy who's following women home without their consent. Yeah, sometimes you might be awkward and sometimes it might come across as creepy when you're trying to learn something. It's part of the learning process.

Sometimes you don't know how to NOT be creepy doing something. Seduction is mainly taught through experience, not books or videos. So, you oftentimes have to figuratively through yourself into the deep end. Sometimes, that means being awkward so you can learn how to not be awkward.

If all else, just be super blunt and honest. "I'm sorry in advance if I come across as awkward or off-putting, I'm trying to better my social skills". Yeah, it's a little weird, but 99% of the time, you're better off just admitting being nervous rather than trying too hard to seem cool and suave. The other person will appreciate your honesty, and if they don't, you wouldn't want them in your life anyway.

SiXXEros · 2014-12-21T23:57:14+00:00

Lol you're not that important bro.

Big_TX · 2014-12-20T23:28:14+00:00

Nah dude. It's not a big deal in the slightest. It's very normal. As long as you back off if the girl is unreceptive or whatever you won't make them feel unsafe. Like making icontact?? Dude your allowed to make eye contact. That's normal. Girls don't go around assuming men are rapests. (As long as you Don't approach in an ally at night)

Id imagen you reddit to much. The ppl on here have some toxic mindsets. I've never met a woman in real life who has the negative mindsets the women on here do.

I use to work at a gym and the manager made me work in the daycare and not a single parent though I was a pedicure cuz I was a guy. What I think is that guys on here get the beliefs that women will assume they are rapests so they try to not act like a repeat (which is exactly what a fucking rapest would do) and so women think they are rapests then they get conformation biest, and complain on here and spread the toxicity. Just act normal.

If you are nervous you can say sorry I'm realy nervous. And they will think you are cute.

Check this out. The first to paragraphs don't real apply to you. But the rest would be a much more healthy mindset. http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fgq0a/approach_anxiety_is_a_symptom_of_extreme/

Somewhere out there there is a girl who would be SOOO happy and and thankful if you would talk to her and stsrt s relationship.

But since you are scared of making a girl feel a tiny bit uncomfortable for 2 seconds she is going to miss out on years of happiness and joy. (You will not make a girl feel unsafe. By talking to them. Asking as you back off)

Cesare_MA · 2014-12-20T20:12:04+00:00

Stop being such a pussy. You can't please everyone. Don't get hungover about making someone feel awkward, because it's not the last time you'll do it and it won't be the last time they feel awkward. Emotions like that are just a natural part of being alive.

Now, I'm not saying you should completely disregard people's feelings and go around doing and saying rapey stuff. If you do make a situation awkward, just learn from the experience and you'll be that much closer to reaching your goal.

throwawayodd33 · 2014-12-21T05:07:34+00:00

Why the hell do you care that some special little snowflake would feel "unsafe" that somebody liked her enough to hit on her?

zomgitsduke · 2014-12-21T14:48:30+00:00

I make strong eye contact with people and neg that constantly. I've never had anyone be insulted or hurt by me. I've been told that my jokes are a little mean, and I've played them off as jokes, which brings them into a calm mindset.

Confidence directs people how to react to your actions. Lead with it.

rightsidedown · 2014-12-20T19:33:09+00:00

You need to just get the fuck over that or give up on seduction as a pursuit. You will creep people out and you will bother people. Other people's feelings are not your problem. You just need to make sure you're taking the feedback they give you when you fuck up and correcting your own behavior.

Title	How should I, as a complete beginner, deal with the fact that if I screw up I could hurt someone else?
Author	somewhat_oxygenated
Upvotes	2
Comments	14
Date	December 20, 2014 7:13 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2pwnil/how_should_i_as_a_complete_beginner_deal_with_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-should-i-as-a-complete-beginner-deal-with-the.1381197 https://theredarchive.com/post/1381197

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