I am extremely confident, but extremely outgoing. That hurts me.

wtfhappenednow · 2013-01-19T18:56:41+00:00

You are probably simply not escalating properly. You come up, high energy, tell jokes, get laughs, smile and ask about their job, then you walk off when it gets a bit awkward. You've become "the clown." You're funny, but not sexual. You probably aren't being explicitly rejected so much as it seems that nothing happens after a certain point. That means that you are failing to escalate. You are probably building attraction but then not capitalizing on it by escalating.

Read something simple like the Mystery Method. Learn how to escalate. Learn the very basic steps. If you do this as a confident, funny person you will get a lot of success.

Your bodyfat is not going to be the difference maker. It's minor.

sillymallard · 2013-01-20T00:18:52+00:00

I've written this before, but you are the classic entertainer guy. Here are your options:

Pickup Artist/Gentleman/Cool Guy: Fun/Funny + Sexual Intent

Entertainer Guy (i.e. you): Fun/Funny + No Sexual Intent

Creep/Pervert : No Fun/Funny + Sexual Intent

Wallflower/Forever Alone: No Fun/Funny + No Sexual Intent

Most people start seduction as a wallflower, and the first step, before gaming girls, is to become a friendly outgoing person. The problem is that game doesn't end here. Being the happy, fun, flirty, friendly guy is a safe intermediate step, but you need to go a step further. You want to have sex with the woman you are talking to right now. Know this, be okay with this, and convey this. The single most important thing you can do to convey sexual intent is to kino. Sex is physical, not verbal, and penis doesn't magically go into vagina when you say the right line or make a girl laugh. You have to kino escalate to convey sexual intent until you get laid.

If you need a fake it till you make it strategy, do this: Every single time you make a girl laugh, touch her. High five her, or push her away on her shoulder, poke her, grab her forearm or hand for a second, or hug her. Get up in her personal space and use your eyes on hers as she's cracking up with your banter. Whenver a girl laughs, her physical guard is down for a few seconds.

wtfhappenednow · 2013-01-19T20:31:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

whitecable · 2013-01-19T20:56:45+00:00

I read through all the comments and it seems you have VERY similar style and problems to me and I think I know how to remedy this. In one sentence: calm down (don't oversexualize) and spend more time together. The first part will stop destroying sexual tension, the second one will build it over time, as well as comfort, which you need so badly.

To elaborate more what we are both doing wrong:

by being too extrovert and blatantly hitting on girls in front of others you give off the impression you have no standards which is an extremely bad frame. No girl will allow herself a deep connection with a guy as you. They will be scared away even on a logical level.
by talking about sex too much you come off as needy even if you aren't and most importantly you kill sexual tension, which is a complete disaster.
as posted in comments, being too cocky is actually a sign of lack of confidence. You have to push your comfort zone by slowing down: reduce the cockiness level and spend more time together. This will build sexual tension and comfort. The "boring bad ass guys" are actually doing this.
being too cocky, direct etc. might be a sign that deep down you are afraid that if girl will spend more time with you, she will realize you aren't enough. You are enough. Again, maintain lower-intensity contact for longer period of time. If you cannot do this, you are emotionally more unstable than the girl and so, you just discovered your true, deeper problem.

I recommend watching RSD movies on youtube (rsdfreetour, rsdtyler) and reading Mark Manson's Postmasculine blog.

Wish you luck!

EDIT check this out

wtfhappenednow · 2013-01-19T20:58:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

thisisgonnabe_good · 2013-01-19T17:11:38+00:00

The general rule of thumb is that anyone who feels it necessary to emphasize (and especially over-emphasize) their confidence, are not really confident. They are insecure and over-confident (i.e. cocky). Being cocky is saying you can do something, while being confident is knowing it.

You say that it's in your nature to be humorous? Women love funny men. If you aren't getting women when being outgoing, truly funny, and flirting, then you aren't doing at least one of those things as well as you think you are, and I would go for all three.

I'm not really sure what you want from this post though. It seems like you feel as if you've got it all figured out already, and just need that extra ingredient. I think you would benefit from humbling yourself. I also recommend you read the sidebar. Not part of it, all of it. You say you don't know how to seduce? It's all right there >>>

Title	I am extremely confident, but extremely outgoing. That hurts me.
Author	wtfhappenednow
Upvotes	24
Comments	33
Date	January 19, 2013 5:00 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/16vqvv/i_am_extremely_confident_but_extremely_outgoing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-am-extremely-confident-but-extremely-outgoing.1346060 https://theredarchive.com/post/1346060

Comments