I have never been so lost...

windowtothesoul · 2014-12-30T03:47:10+00:00

I wouldn't even worry about gaming yet where you are. In order to be high-value you need to have high self-worth; I'm not getting that vibe from your post. Quantify areas you'd like to improve in, write those puppies down, and get to it. That will help bring up the confidence.

nobody2000 · 2014-12-30T04:08:19+00:00

This is the first day of the rest of your life. This is the day where you took inventory. This is the day where you can look back and say "it all really started here."

/u/windowtothesoul said it well. You're awesome - and if you ever doubt it, you should quickly find a reason to alleviate the doubt.

Before you focus on ANY outer game, you need to focus on inner game first. The bible for this is Mark Manson's "Models." Read it. Take notes. Do the exercises, and re-read the book. The major thing you should take from the book is that yes - there are reasons to seduce women, and there are a million ways to do it - but let's take a step back and focus on you.

"Models" gave some suggestions that kind of dragged me out of the dumps. I'll share with you some things:

Hobbies. Find your hobby and love the shit out of it. Don't love "sexy" hobbies like photography unless you really fucking want to. If stamp collecting is your favorite thing, then pursue that hobby with passion. If basketweaving is your preference, then fucking get amped about basketweaving.
Reading. A great deal of intelligence and social development happens with reading. Moreso when you're young, but I'm 28, and I still take a ton from the books I read. Read the classics. Read the cool. Read what you think is awesome. Most guys really like to read Vonnegut, Kafka, and Palahniuk - start there unless you prefer something else. Also - the Bible - if you're religious, remember - that even in the secular world, religious texts play a big role in shaping society. Knowing the Bible from reading it is a valuable social skill (hint - it can come up in conversation).
Movies. IMDB Top 250. Now. That is all.
Health. Follow the trifecta of health. Great diet, frequent exercise (4-5 x 30 minutes per week), and get your sleep (7.5-8 hours per night). Drink water. All that.

So as you form the best version of "you" you will feel amazing about yourself. You'll feel a bit more invincible. Finally, and you'll get this from "Models" you'll need to learn how to make yourself vulnerable to people you meet. This vulnerability is an opening to begin friendships and romantic relationships. You'll want to go with this.

Anyway, keep posting, everyone's here to help you because we've all been where you are in some way, shape, or form. Best of luck to you!

baguette180 · 2014-12-31T05:04:03+00:00

sorry for typos I'm a dyslexic on Mobel. Also pleas actualy read my two submissions I spent like 2hr making them for you and promise they are worth your time. So often People just get on here and wine and don't even want to solve there problems and it is really disheartening to put slot of effort into telling someone how to help them selves when they don't even put in any effort them selves.

Try and find a social hobby. Or a sport to make friends with? Do to your city's subreddit and look that up. In my city there is a social club that you can join where you play sports. For kick ball there is a social league. And a super social legue. In the 2nd it is very un competive so if you suck at sports it is fine you wount have anything to be embarrassed about. And you will get exercise and get to meet people.

How old are you? You can get a girlfriend and sleep with here at her place. Or in a car or something. You at a disadvantage to someone whit there own place but it's not like ur fucked.

Models is prabbly a realy good book for you to read. PLEAS keep this in mind: it is more for improving you life and relationships. It does not help you get girls all that much. And he spouts of a lot of bullshit where he discredits other aspects of the community. Like he says to not use tequiniques and And dismisses "state." State is very important. Just don't stress over it.

You should read all the sidebar posts. They are realy great. And you should read the top Feald Reports [FR]s and watch some RSDTyler videos. Then read models.

Models and the sidebarwill help you to learn a framework and hopefully get you to improve your life.

To learn about improving your social skills you should watch The Blueprent decoded by RSDTyler or read The Blueprent (book form) I think the video is prabbly more educational (I've only watched the video and have not read the book so o can't say for sure) the Blueprent really is gold. But it's best to watch it after you have a framework.

(Also if you don't get it feel free to message me and I'll explain it. You have to watch it first for me to beanie to explane it.) it starts off slow but it gets better later on. You have to watch it all though.

Also you can meet people and organize it your self. That's something I figured out in middle school. This new kid came to school and so he started talking to me and my friends. But we would not have invited him out. But then he planned something with us, and he bacame a person we hing with so in the future we would hit him up.

I was in the same boat as him in HS but then I did what he did and I got s social circle and would get hit up later. And it expanded my social network.

Remember... You can't improve unless you practice. Just learning won't help you.

read this: Also to emotive your self esteem you have to respect your self more. How do you do that?? You chose to act in a way you find more respectable. For example you could Start reading about investing every day. Start dieting (or just eat healthier if you arnt fat.) start exercising. Don't just sorta round all day and not do anything. Handle problems in your life. If you need to trek a tree. Go fucking trim it! The only way to respect your self is to do what you find respectsble.

baguette180 · 2014-12-31T05:38:31+00:00

Also Check out this video for making friends.

http://youtu.be/dENi7K2lX4U

This should help you in the beginning. Later you should not try so heard to seek report with everyone. And act how you feel comfortable. But I the beginning this should realy help you lesrn social skills.

This video is not exactly what you should do for building report with women for the purpose of seducing them. But I think it is a good place to start.

And you HAVE TO PRATICE.

Also just know that if you can't think of anything to contribute to s groups and you just sit there and lsten. it does not matter. If you feel nervous you can say your shy. And they won't Dislike you for being quiet. If you can't think of stuff to say you can just say Im tired is all. That won't mind. Obviously you should work to become better at conversation. But don't like worry.

DownvotesCatposts · 2014-12-30T06:14:50+00:00

In general, what I believe you need to do is to start asking yourself the right questions. Don't say, "I don't know what to do to make any friends." Change that in to "What can I do with other people?" "How do I meet new people?" etc. You need to change your approach to this problem-solving. Think logically and don't put the cart before the horse so to speak. Get a piece of paper and write down ten things that you want. "I want to make new friends." "I want to meet new people including attractive women." "I want those women to be attracted to me." Then, on the right side of the page, change each one of those in to multiple action-questions. "-make new friends" becomes "Where/How/When can I meet new friends?" which leads to "People my age are working at this coffee shop nearby. Could I possibly work there? Could I read a book while I am there, and talk to people who are nearby?" "Can I afford to buy a book? Hmm, not right now, so I guess I need to back up and ask 'How can I have more disposable income?' See? "-including attractive women" becomes "Where can I meet the kind of women I am interested in? What things are they interested in that I had previously dismissed as stupid or uninteresting, that I might be able to use to talk to them?" Then, "I want those women to be attracted to me" becomes "What do those women find attractive?" Of course that isn't a question you can ask them directly because women don't have a damn clue what they're attracted to, but you can pay some more attention to their reactions to certain things/celebrities/types of people and figure out what makes them attractive. "How can I change my appearance so that I am more attractive, while still being comfortable with who I am?" "I should subscribe to /r/bodyweightfitness , /r/gainit or /r/loseit and work on my body."

Seek out the very first basic steps that you can either do right now or do tomorrow. Keep track of the progress you make. I have a daily running list of objectives I want to complete soon. To give you a prime example from my life right now: Women find guitar players / musicians attractive > I can't play guitar > what can I do to learn guitar? > What assets do I have already that can help me do this? > Well, I own a videogame system for one > I can buy Rocksmith and a real guitar, using the money that those things costs to directly invest in my self-development > I don't have that money at the moment > Start setting aside 40 bucks every paycheck > buy Rocksmith and a nice guitar > start learning how to play > play an hour every single day, maybe more. So I'm playing videogames (something I enjoy) and working to make myself more attractive to women at the same damn time. Talk about a life hack.

Make sense? This took a few months to do start to finish. But what's nice is you can get multiple threads going. Work on your body. Work on your mind. Work on your self-worth.

And lastly, don't sweat the religion aspect too much. There is plenty of room to develop yourself within the limiting parameters of who you live with and their expectations of you. I don't know how old you are but eventually your parents will have to accept that you are a man and you have to carve your own path in life.

Title	I have never been so lost...
Author	sto-
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	December 30, 2014 3:39 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2qs2y6/i_have_never_been_so_lost/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-have-never-been-so-lost.1381586 https://theredarchive.com/post/1381586

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