I have never had a girlfriend and do not know how to start dating.

DrSleeper · 2016-11-15T09:29:08+00:00

Good news: you're on the right track just trying and the fact that you're asking out girls you barely know is super ballsy so stand tall and be proud of that, whatever the problem is it isn't you being a pussy.

Bad news: There's no quick fix. I can not tell you that if you follow three easy steps you'll have a girlfriend by Christmas.

Real talk: Start on yourself. Do things you are proud of. Work out. Dress well. Shave. Groom yourself. Become someone you would like to know. Read up on the sidebar stuff and do the work. Be patient, it'll get easier and suddenly you'll find it easy. Suddenly the knot in your stomach while talking to girls is completely gone and it's actually fun.

I don't know a lot about your situation from your post but it seems you're quite new here. If not maybe you can be more specific about your situation and maybe I and others can provide specific tips.

Nolat · 2016-11-15T10:51:23+00:00

do you have a good network of friends, both male and female?

are you involved in student organizations? you really should if you're not. it's the easiest way to meet ppl, and getting to know girls in the same student org is pretty natural, or if you become friends with them you can meet those girls' friends etc. plus you'll already have a common interest, so it's even easier.

cold approaches work, but if you're a total nub i really don't think that's what you should go for. not when there's so many other avenues of meeting girls that aren't as demoralizing as getting shut down constantly haha

ingenjor · 2016-11-15T09:53:14+00:00

Hmm, I'd say Tinder is a good stepping stone to becoming more comfortable and less creepy when asking girls out. It's really easy to find girls there, but I have yet to find any girls of real quality. For that you probably should look elsewhere. Good for experience though.

Jacob_961 · 2016-11-15T11:35:22+00:00

Your most important relationship is your relationship with yourself. Once you get that handled, women become a nice bonus. People dread being alone, what people don't realize is that people dread being alone with themselves. You creep people out because you want a girl to adopt you. Neediness stems from not being able to trust yourself to ensure your own survival. The key point is this:

You should not need anyone to get what you want

Ask for compliance not love

You're in school right, you don't always like to study but you study anyway because it is important to you. In the same way you don't have to make the girl love you, you have to make the girl to spend time with you and get to know you. Actions are more important. If you wanted me to pass you the salt, you would ask me to pass you the salt, you wouldn't make me fall in love with you so that I pass you the salt. That would be impossible and you would lose your mind and creep me out. Don't ask for love, ask for compliance and it makes your life a whole lot easier and you attitude a whole lot less creepy.

Jacob_961 · 2016-11-15T11:35:23+00:00

Your most important relationship is your relationship with yourself. Once you get that handled, women become a nice bonus. People dread being alone, what people don't realize is that people dread being alone with themselves. You creep people out because you want a girl to adopt you. Neediness stems from not being able to trust yourself to ensure your own survival. The key point is this:

You should not need anyone to get what you want

Ask for compliance not love

You're in school right, you don't always like to study but you study anyway because it is important to you. In the same way you don't have to make the girl love you, you have to make the girl to spend time with you and get to know you. Actions are more important. If you wanted me to pass you the salt, you would ask me to pass you the salt, you wouldn't make me fall in love with you so that I pass you the salt. That would be impossible and you would lose your mind and creep me out. Don't ask for love, ask for compliance and it makes your life a whole lot easier and you attitude a whole lot less creepy.

recyclablebanthas · 2016-11-16T03:59:23+00:00

You're kind of making this difficult by making yourself start off with asking girls out, which is freaking difficult....... when you apparently aren't very socially savvy to begin with.

I'd recommend getting out and being more social, unless you actually are doing this already. Find a nice mixed social group with boys and girls. Something like:

Couchsurfer meets. Good group of people, sometimes with a bunch of visitors rotating in and out.
Hash runs. Running plus beer and hide & seek, often in nature. Can't go wrong.
Social partner dancing. Like salsa, Lindy hop, West coast swing, Argentine tango. Can't dance? Great! No one can at first and they're short of guys usually. And learning a dance will teach you core skills of "seduction" as you learn to dance better.

2016-11-15T12:17:33+00:00

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Shinyarmor2 · 2016-11-15T13:18:32+00:00

My suggestion is to learn to love yourself. In any and every way you can. Simply enjoy who you are.

And the best advice i can give is you should never give anyone too much credit. You cant expect someone to like you because you like them. And you shouldnt settle to like someone just because they like you.

Big_TX · 2016-11-15T17:20:31+00:00

If you're in high school don't hold approach much at all Watch some infield footage try and get a feel for how things night game would be equivalent to parties and do you would be roughly per went to school

Bigbennyy · 2016-11-15T12:03:59+00:00

You sounf like you're over thinking it. How would you go about getting a new guy friend? Probably something easy and casual. Try that on girls! Dont act too serious or awkward.

TastyTastyScience · 2016-11-15T12:34:55+00:00

It's alright, you still have all of middle school and high school to figure it out.

Title	I have never had a girlfriend and do not know how to start dating.
Author	want2improver
Upvotes	88
Comments	34
Date	November 15, 2016 8:37 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5d1iy8/i_have_never_had_a_girlfriend_and_do_not_know_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-have-never-had-a-girlfriend-and-do-not-know-how.1415574 https://theredarchive.com/post/1415574

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