I Need Help Not Giving a Shit and Not Caring What Others Think

MysticalQuack · 2016-10-08T18:19:01+00:00

Stoicism.

Basically the philosophy of not giving a shit.

I would go into self hypnosis and just repeat shit like, "I no longer give a shit about anyone or what they think of me."

Two days after going in a deep hypnotic state suggesting principles, my anxiety was gone.

tallguyjp · 2016-10-08T22:05:01+00:00

Watch prank videos on youtube. Seriously. Try it.

Bigdawstv Angry picnic

As examples

quinntuplets · 2016-10-08T20:15:25+00:00

Meditate

thetahill · 2016-10-08T20:11:41+00:00

That has been my problem most of my life. The real, authentic me is fun and people love it. The problem is fear pops up whenever I am with someone new or someone I think might not appreciate me.

One tip I have used is to make a game of it. Next time you're out with a buddy, see which of you can say the craziest/goofiest stuff to the most women in a given night. Winner (the one who actually follows through the most) buys all the beer the next time out. When I do it, usually we figure out what we can say beforehand and we give ourselves 5 minutes to do it, and if one of us doesn't, that is a a point off.

This helps you see that there isn't anything to fear, because you'll see the pain of them thinking differently of you means nothing (and many will likely like you for it). It also positively reinforces behavior congruent with your goals.

PUAgrey · 2016-10-08T20:29:20+00:00

Man this is such a tough thing to do, but once you do life is just so much easier.

I'm not really sure how to do it. You can try to rationalise the whole thing in your head and you soon realise that you simply want to be you, it's what comes easiest to you and the interactions with your friends where you get to be yourself are the ones you find most enjoyable (I guess right?) Then rationally you should be yourself around everyone and if someone reacts badly to that that is their imperfection not yours.

That's the rational mind but you'll still feel rejected in the real world when people do say whatever about you or you think that they are not receiving you well. For this I would recommend meditation and mindfulness. Mindfulness will allow you to be conscious of your feelings before (or while) they take over you and not necessarily stop the bad feeling (although certainly weaken its influence over time) but stop that bad feeling from altering your course which you have chosen which is that "I am upandup123 and I do what I want."

Meditation has really helped me let go of tension, anxiety, defensive reactions etc. as they arise. A mental exercise you can try is whenever you feel resistance; someone judging you or channeling negativity towards you for who you are or how you act. Just imagine that you are transparent. That negativity just passes straight through you. You can even imagine it striking off the wall behind you or hitting someone else haha meanwhile you are left untouched

Hope this helps, let me know if you have any questions

zengardenz · 2016-10-08T23:38:19+00:00

be yourself. get hurt when people criticize you for being you, then realize that it's not that bad, then keep being your own biggest fan.

I know there is social pressure to get along with everyone and have a large friend base, but it is better for find those select few who actually appreciate you for your goofy self. So just be yourself!

Lumenis · 2016-10-09T01:20:57+00:00

The idea is simple, but it needs practice, and it will take time, depending on your personality, but here's the tip: just don't give a shit. Just don't.

When people ask for this kind of help, I feel like they're looking for something that doesn't exist. If you want to know how you can not giving a fuck about everything, all the time, the answer is simple: you can't.

We're social animals, we need society to live, we need other people. No matter who, where, when, or how, if someone say something about you, you will pay attention. Even if it's just inconsciously. Other people opinions are important, they give us a sort of feedback about ourselves, so we can improve, and live a better life.

So don't try to just "don't give a shit", but instead try learning how to deal with opinions and social pressure. Focus on what's important, and the people that you love and love you. I'll try giving you some advices that worked for me:

1/ Build confidence. The way you want, but be confident about yourself, who you are, what you want, and how you can achieve your goals. Confidence is not bragging about yourself, it's not showing up your abs, or tell people how much you make in a year. Confidence is not a competition, it's not about being the best, getting the hottest girls, or anything like that. Confidence is all about you. Your skills, your opinions, your personality. Learn to know yourself and know where your limits are. If you truely know what you are doing with your life and the time given to you to spend on this earth, then you'll easily deal with whatever shit will be thrown at you.

2/Try to not give a shit. Do it "on purpose", think about it and do it. When you feel scared by some social pressure, you just talk to yourself: it's not important, you're not in danger, you don't know these people and they don't know you, for now their judgement is neither necesseray or useful. It's an everyday exercice. At first you'll be unconfortable, but with time it will become a natural habit, and you give a shit anymore.

3/Try thinking about all the random people you saw today. Do you know them? Their name? Do you remember where you saw them? Their outfit, hairstyle, voice? Maybe what they where doing at the time you saw them? Try remember everything you can about all these people. Now: do you give a shit about who they are, what they did etc. ? And did anything any of these people did influenced you in some way, or impacted your day? I don't think so. Here's the good news: everyone is like you, they don't give a fucking shit about you. Probability is that they completely forgot your face by the end of the day. So be the same, and don't care about random people doing random things. Meeting new people is maybe a bit different, but before becoming acquaintances, they're just random anonymous. Same shit.

Maybe for you, and other people, all I just say is "try not giving a fuck by not giving a fuck", but that's the secret, there is no secret. Like with every life advice, there is no cheat, there is no guideline, "just do it". Try, fail, try again, build yourself.

If one day you ask yourself "How do I become...?", try thinking about "What makes me not like that?", try looking for the reasons, the psychological/sociological mechanics hidden behind. Eventually, you'll find the answer by yourself, and you'll be able to work on being a better you.

penisinthepeanutbttr · 2016-10-09T03:05:48+00:00

/r/howtonotgiveafuck

Title	I Need Help Not Giving a Shit and Not Caring What Others Think
Author	upandup123
Upvotes	7
Comments	9
Date	October 8, 2016 5:40 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/56i1ci/i_need_help_not_giving_a_shit_and_not_caring_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-need-help-not-giving-a-shit-and-not-caring-what.1413619 https://theredarchive.com/post/1413619

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