Back then, every rejection felt like proof. Proof that I wasn’t attractive. Proof that I wasn’t interesting enough. Proof that maybe this just wasn’t for me.

I’d walk up to a girl, try to talk, get a cold response or a fake smile, and spiral for the rest of the night. I’d replay the moment in my head over and over. And yeah, sometimes it wasn’t even harsh. She was just neutral. But in my mind, that meant I failed.

What I didn’t realize at the time was this: rejection only hurts when you make it mean something about you.

Girls reject guys for a hundred reasons that have nothing to do with who you are: She’s tired. She’s in a relationship. She just got hit on five times in a row. You reminded her of her ex. She’s having a shitty day.

But if you’re in that fragile place, you assume it’s always your fault. And that mindset keeps you stuck. You avoid approaching. You hesitate. You overthink every word. And when you do talk to her, that nervous, approval-seeking energy leaks out—and ruins it before it even begins.

The moment things started changing for me was when I stopped seeing every interaction as a test I had to pass. I stopped chasing approval. I stopped trying to win girls over.

Instead, I approached to express, not impress. If it landed, great. If not, cool. I’d move on.

And slowly, I built reference points. The more I moved, the less I hesitated. The less I hesitated, the more girls responded differently.

Because I wasn’t treating them like they were on a pedestal anymore. I was just a guy showing up, fully grounded in who he was.

It’s not about being fearless. It’s about moving even when it stings a little.

If you’re still in that fearful mindset of approaching because of fear of rejection, I’ve written a short guide on how to overcome it. Happy to send it over to anyone interested!