I think I messed up

Smitty-TBR2430 · 2025-04-09T15:57:35+00:00

You did everything well up to making the invitation.

If I met a gal at a coffeehouse I would not invite her out for coffee. Invite her to anything but more coffee. A baseball game? Lunch or dinner? A party? Think of something social and local to you with some originality.

You say she appeared flustered at your invitation. You should smile and pause. Don’t rush this. Let her gather her thoughts. Allow her to reply without (more) pressure.

Personally, I’d never give my phone number to a woman and expect her to call (or text). High value women will never make that call. But if you want to continue down this road yet improve your chances, get some business cards printed.

Better luck next time. 😎

AssistTemporary8422 · 2025-04-09T18:05:06+00:00

I know going up to a stranger is anxiety inducting so kudos for actually trying. So the mistake you made was you just handed her your number when you should have made some comment about her and started a conversation. You should have exchanged numbers after extending an invite so that it feels natural rather than needy.

liftingnstuff · 2025-04-09T19:03:18+00:00

Don't hand her your number on a piece of paper. She has a phone lol.

>We had chatted about how busy the place was,

Doesn't sound like there was any flirting. Don't expect to get numbers that text you back if you don't flirt with the girl.

>She appeared flustered (maybe I put her on the spot?)

You did put her on the spot. You were having a platonic conversation in line. Ended the conversation. And then re-opened the conversation by asking her out with no build up of flirting inbetween.

You want to escalate when things are going well. So after a few minutes of talking and flirting, you can suggest that you guys hang out later to do something. Then you get her number to sort the logistics out. There's no point in getting a number before establishing why you both would want to hang out again.

gtaIIIstan · 2025-04-09T15:59:35+00:00

It's only been a few hours. For all we know, she may still yet hit you up.
Try to have a slightly longer conversation next time. Build an actual connection over a minute or two and then ask her out. Be fun and flirty: The stuff about how busy the place is a decent way to open the conversation, but you need to then quickly pivot to a conversation about YOU and HER.
You should've asked for HER number. I expect women in the early stages to be receptive and responsive, not necessarily someone who will be proactive. Besides, I believe in making my own fate. So take her number next time and make moves.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-04-10T02:40:31+00:00

Yes you did mess up. The details are irrelavant, what you need is to learn the principles of a good approach. From there all the details will magically rearrange themselves. See my post on approaching and practice the principles inside for the next 450 approaches.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-04-10T06:05:06+00:00

Handing a professional business card isn't the worst idea. But handing off a sheet of paper with just your phone number would be a pretty dweeb-y thing to do. She was with a friend and you might've made her uncomfortable with the approach. Not everyone wants to be bothered.

MysteryLiezer · 2025-04-10T06:14:23+00:00

Did you put both your first AND last name on the paper?

Title	I think I messed up
Author	Mr_Dixon1991
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	April 9, 2025 3:33 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jv8owx/i_think_i_messed_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-think-i-messed-up.1549062 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549062

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