If you think too much about wanting something you will not get it

rich_god · 2019-11-20T15:09:34+00:00

It's true that if you think you need something in your life, you will put energy into not having it.

How does that work ? When you think you need something, you're building a fantasy in your mind. You're thinking "oh my life would be so much happier if I had a girlfriend ! I would love her so hard and she would love me and my life would be such a bliss". But it's wrong. Being in a relationship is just as hard as being single, it's just as many problems, it's more arguing, it's sharing intimacy, it's opening yourself, it's being responsible of someone else well-being. It's a lot of work ! The thing is, your mind always tries to comfort your beliefs. If you believe something is true, you will put a lot of energy into protecting that belief, because questioning yourself is scary and uncomfortable. Realising that being in a relationship would not solve any of your issues is scary and uncomfortable, so it's easier to rely on the comforting thought that "I'm not happy because I don't have this and this".

Actually having a girlfriend would be terrible for you. You would see all the new problems you have and break your beautiful fantasy. You would still not be happy, but this time without the excuse ! Or you would put that girl on a pedestal (because you would feel like you need her to be happy) and she would be tired of it and would leave you, making you miserable.

So what you need is to break that fantasy. You can for example make a list of why being in a relationship would suck. You need to balance your view on this subject, realise that everything in life brings just as much joy and fulfilment as it brings uncomfortable feelings. So you can know that if you get a girlfriend it's great, if not it's great too. You can still put energy into it and think about it, but not from a place of need. You can think about it from a place of love, like "I want to connect to someone, share a beautiful experience with that person and truly discover who she is". And if she doesn't want to, it's perfect because you still have yourself and you're a complete human being on your own.

Meditation can help tremendously on this.

Highschooldropout001 · 2019-11-20T19:16:41+00:00

if you want something go get it and work hard for it.

dont listen to these stupid people who say focus on yourself

this and that

I have had a period in my life when i didnt think of girls and guesd what i never got girls

then i decided to focus soley on getting pussy and worked really hard on it

and i did get pussy

FairAnalyst · 2019-11-21T02:51:36+00:00

Man we've come full circle - people used to believe in The Secret and now people are saying don't want stuff to get it.

I don't think any of this woo-woo stuff matters at all. Want it or don't want it. It doesn't matter as long as you create a actionable plan of getting what you want and then taking action to do it.

Wanting something won't magically make it appear in your life...nor will 'not wanting it'. A great way of never getting something you want is hoping it'll just 'happen one day'.

Be proactive. Take action. And be in control of your life.

MountainClimax · 2019-11-20T22:05:58+00:00

I used to believe this. Because a lot of girls I wanted I didn't get. So I thought if I fantasized about them, I wouldn't get them. Turns out I was wrong and I ended up getting some girls I was fantasizing about. It's all about getting the balls to approach and not being a needy creep.

paulvario11 · 2019-11-20T22:11:40+00:00

It's totally absurd ! because how can you solve a problem without thinking of it ?

But thinking only without working it's what make something seem unreachable.

So thinking and not working for it is bad yes.

Okey let's put "not having a girlfriend as a problem"

First of all you need to think if it's possible ,doable.

A man who doesn't have legs can't run but now yes maybe thank's to science.

But you per example you want a girlfriend.

There's no secret formulas you have to talk to girls in order to be in a relationship with them.

So socialize and do some cold approaches especially when the girl give you some IOI.

Dress well, walk taller,good posture.

Be confident !

Let me tell you the problem is that most guys only seek for hot girls (there's nothing wrong with that) maybe you have to lower the bar . I'm not telling to look of it from the view of 8/10 or 10/10 and all this bullshit.

But a sexy hot girl all guys want her so there's a big challenge you see .

If you were a girl and the "THE YOU" came to ask you out why would you accept because you have a good car ? handsome ? popular ? Big di** ? Big house ? rich ? or CONFIDENT ? nice guy ? .....

For me "All a man need is a personality ! BE SOMEBODY !"

PrsnPersuasion · 2019-11-21T05:41:20+00:00

New age/law of attraction/“the secret”/etc bullshit

Title	If you think too much about wanting something you will not get it
Author	coffecup456
Upvotes	13
Comments	13
Date	November 20, 2019 2:49 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dz31ae/if_you_think_too_much_about_wanting_something_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/if-you-think-too-much-about-wanting-something-you.1484281 https://theredarchive.com/post/1484281

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