i'm just a failure

TheModernLoki · 2017-03-10T01:12:12+00:00

You are worried about not being able to make friends when you cant even befriend yourself. If you dont like you, why should anyone else?

That is step one to self improvement: Learn to love yourself.

Some people can do this easily. Some people it takes years. It took years for me to learn to love myself. Life after that point improved significantly.

How do you love yourself? You self reflect, either with professional help or otherwise, on why you hate yourself. Your post is full of critical self analysis. You must learn why you hate yourself, most likely from some childhood [event or series of events].

Forgive yourself and forgive others for what they have done to you.

Once you stop hating yourself you are ready to grow. Do activities you enjoy, and do them purely for your own enjoyment. Doesnt matter what they are. Video games, sky diving, darts. Doesnt matter.

Once you start enjoying your time you will start enjoying yourself. When this starts happening the seeds of self esteem will grow. When you start loving yourself you will gain confidence. You will include others in your life. Statistically the chances of finding a partner increase. Things grow exponentially from there and you die a happy man after decades of satisfaction.

But you must first learn to not hate yourself.

bjlmag · 2017-03-10T01:34:59+00:00

You'd be better seeing a therapist and dealing with this directly than posting to us here. There's no shame in taking care of your mental health.

bobmurphy1 · 2017-03-10T02:41:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

recyclablebanthas · 2017-03-10T02:24:51+00:00

i am just cursed to be the laughing stock of the universe.

I used to feel that way also. Your brain is magnifying the issue. You have negative thought patterns that are playing on repeat in your head, and you aren't challenging them, even though they're based on things that are ridiculous. For example, people don't sit around laughing about a person. And most people are so self-concerned that they don't have much room in their heads to think about someone else, like you or me.

i know everyone is gonna respond to this post and be like "oh you just gotta learn from your mistakes bro" "just keep going bro" well what the fuck when you literally fail so many fucking times time after time after time after time it becomes comical at a point.

You're vague and possibly contradictory. We all have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes. If you are making the same mistakes again and again, then you're not learning from your mistakes, are you?

Which means you CANNOT say that you have actually tried this very powerful thing.

every woman i've matched with on tinder/bumble/whatever the fuck stupid shit i've tried and failed at stops responding or if i manage to get their number they ghost me.

Vague. But then, I guess you're not really asking for advice, you're venting.

If you really wanted advice, you'd give details about what you were "trying" and "failing" at. But off-hand, if you're only doing online things to meet people, that's not too helpful. Doing it that way isn't even very reliable for guys who do have good social skills.

women i've ran into irl that i used to have class with or go to school with give me their number and then never respond to even the first text.

Yeah, you're not learning from your mistakes, if that keeps happening.

i have no friends who are into partying.

Not necessary. Do you notice that you're just looking for things to feel like shit about, putting them in a mental list, and running that over and over and over and over and over in your head?

This is one of your issues. You don't take dominion over your own thoughts, even when they're ridiculous.

i got a new job and i dropped out of school.

How's the new job?

Why did you drop out?

if i go to the club i feel like i want to die because i feel so out of place.

Then don't go to clubs. A lot of people don't like clubs.

my only hope at this point seems to be to go up to random women on the street but that seems so pathetic, creepy and sad that i decide not to do it.

Interesting. So why then, can others do this? If it's so pathetic, creepy, and sad for strangers to talk to other strangers, then how does it ever happen?

The truth is, you are beating yourself down. You are subjecting yourself to so much emotional abuse and punishment that you are keeping yourself from being able to socialize.

there is no hope for me

There isn't. Not until you allow there to be.

murvish45 · 2017-03-10T02:41:17+00:00

Step 1.) build a bigger body Step 2.) build a better male social group Step 3.) find 2-3 things you are passionate about or good at and go hard Step 4.) make sure you're dressing properly and present yourself well. Step 5.)broaden your acceptable range for women. Might have to lower the standards

The less pressure you put on yourself with women the better you'll do (usually). Having cool friends and fun shit to do will help alot. Rn your trying to fill a hole with women and the problems are compounding.

Try different kinds of game, camera game is fun. "Hey im working on an art project can you pose for a few pictures?" Or something a bit more suave.

All else fails get a puppy chicks love puppies.

Dont give up you'll end up miserable.

Hope this helps good luck!

pacg · 2017-03-10T06:19:55+00:00

The least you can do is stop going to clubs. It's okay. There are women all over the place. Besides, I don't get the sense that club girls are your type anyway.

Not everyone on here is trying to be a lothario. Some just want to acquire the skills to attract a nice woman to whom we're also attracted, someone with whom to spend quality time sitting on the couch watching movies and so forth.

mixedpotatoes · 2017-03-10T07:27:22+00:00

Your mindset seeps through into your writing. It's a pretty toxic mindset. Talk to a therapist. Live well and stop being so attached to a certain outcome. You will make it, just be patient and keep working on your thought process to become mentally excellent :)

bighi · 2017-03-10T13:04:35+00:00

I am going to assume you're American. That's the country with a culture in which people see themselves as a win/lose or success/failure, as if they were defined by the success rate of some actions they did or didn't take.

You have to get rid of that mentality.

Other people already said it, but look for professional help. There's no shame in it, like there's no shame in going to a doctor to fix a broken bone, for example.

The problem here is not that you're not getting laid. There's something deeper.

Look at me. I have an average job with no prestige. Not a lot of money. Don't own a car. Not pretty. Head too big. Overweight (not obese). And I have Asperger's syndrome (a kind of mild autism). Not the most social guy, as you can imagine. My main hobbies are video games, board games and reading fantasy books.

I can get laid. Probably because I like myself, maybe.

But if I can, anyone can. For reals.

But you have to take care of you first. Forget seduction. Forget any PUA tip you have read. Take care of yourself.

No girl is going to be attracted to a guy that thinks himself is worthless, a failure. There's no such thing as a person being a failure, that's just shitty stuff other people made you think.

Look for help. Get your shit together. Love yourself first, and someone else will too.

mattliamjack · 2017-03-10T04:20:33+00:00

Don't be a Bitch

Paulie_Walnut · 2017-03-10T12:48:12+00:00

Learn how to meditate, learn how to find happiness in yourself, go to therapy. Seems like you are fucked up mentally

Overnight_Delivery · 2017-03-10T17:40:36+00:00

Need to try different venues and more hobbys. Libraries, coffee shops, malls, beaches, meetups, dance classes, yoga, MMA, improv, find some girls to learn a second language with.

Blueeyesboi · 2017-03-10T18:08:07+00:00

Same train here bro. But in the end of the tunnel there is light. And that aplies for everyone. I know how hard it is when you come home from a club and you have not even talked to one girl. Just stop giving a fuck and go out again. KEEP TRYING PLEASE!

Jack__Knife · 2017-03-10T19:38:59+00:00

The trouble with this whole seduction thing, is that it'll put the idea in your head that you will immediately pull that hot little Disney princess, you've been thinking about while letting some of your unborn children wash down the shower drain. No. It just doesn't work that way. Michael Jordan didn't start tossing three pointers after reading a book on basketball! Start by practicing a few cow shots from the free-throw line. Ask that brunette with the thicker eyebrow and ass, you'd pump full of goo, if your friends wouldn't find out. Changing your mind set will expand your options x10. Once this happens you'll see how easy this really really was....and progress.

Also hit the gym like your entire sex life depends on it. Stop looking for excuses to fail.

Xanarxses · 2017-03-10T19:44:05+00:00

Ok.

I get no numbers.

No matches.

No kind of attention or even a passing glare from women.

The only glares I get from people are glares of "Goddamn this dude is weird."

I have absolutely no friends.

I can't approach because I'm a pussy.

I am sexually invisible.

I am socially invisible.

I am romantically invisible.

I am essentially a fucking ghost in the world of parties, sex, fun, love, friendship and camaraderie.

I can't even put myself in a situation where I get to have the luxury of failure.

If you think you have it so fucking tough, wear my skin for a week.

At least you get to fail.

If you can't fail, then you can't succeed.

AlphaSebass · 2017-03-10T03:36:39+00:00

I swear what exactly you said on the post is exactly how i feel. I honestly don't see how women are "Amazing".

IntrovertedBadass · 2017-03-10T05:07:39+00:00

Hey man, i can totaly see where you're comming from. I have a webinar that might help you with that. it will teach you how to get numbers an dates outside of clubs, and exactly what to text to get dates. If women give you their number so often, but then stop responding it must be something you do in your texts. It also teaches you how to boost your confidence quickly, while building core confidence over the course of 90 days. Would you like me to post the link?

Title	i'm just a failure
Author	bobmurphy1
Upvotes	12
Comments	26
Date	March 10, 2017 1:05 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5yj3xn/im_just_a_failure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-just-a-failure.1421555 https://theredarchive.com/post/1421555

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