Im struggling without hinge

Discopotatoz · 2026-07-24T19:59:02+00:00

Trend I've noticed: OLD abundance will always be 1-2 points lower than you can pull irl. Hot girls are hot girls, they have abundance mentality we could never dream of. Options = instability.

Tragedyofthe · 2026-07-24T19:51:12+00:00

Not gonna lie, if Hinge was working for you, I’m not really sure why you’re dropping it. I guess you’re scared of getting banned or something, but I’ve been in and off of Hinge for over 2 years; I’ve been fine. I have a p busy job where I travel a lot, so with Hinge it’s easier setting up short-term things in advance. If it works for you, there’s no issue in fixing a nonexistent issue.

Usually…people who get banned aren’t telling the whole truth. They probably said something rude or just had a profile with no photos of themselves

949orange · 2026-07-24T17:41:48+00:00

Is Hinge a good app with real women?

laced1 · 2026-07-24T18:28:09+00:00

How is this even a post? Just ask for a number and date on first approach, rejected? Move on till you find a girl who will agree to a date.

Literally that easy

Altec5499 · 2026-07-24T17:56:46+00:00

How do you travel to work

UnparliamentaryTea · 2026-07-24T20:39:23+00:00

I know you’re a lawyer so work hours are pretty brutal, but how often are you able to go out on a Friday/Saturday night with friends? Besides pure approach, the best way to build abundance is to create a social life where you are meeting new people as much as possible, and it will compound.

Being the guy who is always there, whether making or accepting the plans, pays off. You’ll get to know your friends’ girlfriends and they’ll invite you to their next party with 25 women there and say great things about you to any of them. A friend of a friend who is in town for the weekend will know the bartender at a spot and the bartender will hook you up with free drinks the next time you go. Significantly easier said than done, but it’s probably the best way to create anything akin to the “sales funnel” you can have on hinge

ThorLives · 2026-07-24T20:50:39+00:00

The apps have mostly been crap in terms of quality, effort, and the "women don't look like their pictures" problem, so I also have been doing more in-person approaches. I'll talk to women in bars or wherever, and will have maybe a 15 minute conversation to get a vibe, let her get to know me a bit, and feel like there's a chance that a date could happen.

Of the 12 phone numbers I've gotten this year, 11 out of 12 didn't even bother to respond to my text message. The one who did respond - I had met her at a singles event. It's kind of obnoxious how standoffish people are about dating even when you're meeting them under normal circumstances. I can't imagine things were this bad in past generations - back before smartphones and dating apps, when meeting people organically was the norm.

haftzabaa · 2026-07-25T10:11:22+00:00

Here's what I'm seeing:

Your sample size is very small

This is indicative of unrealistic expectations. Five approaches is a very small amount and getting ghosted by all of them is a totally normal outcome within a normal range of variance even for a reasonably experienced guy.

"Good conversations" and numbers don't neatly convert to dates

Getting numbers from all of them is probably a bit too high actually. Means you're likely filtering for safe sets and also not being too polarising or showing intent in your conversations.

"Great conversations" are often just indicative of the woman being in a social mood in that specific moment.

Conversely sometimes you'll also run into women who are shy on the approach but still turn up to the date and are highly keen.

It's also entirely possible to have a run of approaches where you get fewer numbers than usual but actually get more dates per number!

You're not accurately picturing the amount of volume you get on OLD

On OLD, it's a massive number's game but you don't notice it quite as much since the app takes care of the rejection for you. It doesn't announce to you every time you've been left swiped, which will always outnumber your right swipes even if you have a popular profile.

In cold approach the success rate actually tends to be a bit higher, you don't need as much volume as OLD, but you still need volume. And you also need to get past the initial learning curve to be able to even run volume and manage it correctly.

You have to accept that you need to generate the volume yourself rather than letting the app do it for you.

You're misunderstanding the importance of comfort vs. attraction

Fixating on safety in this way is a misunderstanding of how daygame works.

But don't worry everyone goes through this when starting, you think women will be afraid of you and the way to get them to be interested is to play it as safe as possible.

Generally what works for daygame is being impactful and exciting, not being "safe".

But even this doesn't matter much, just approach more and learn over time

The fact that attraction matters more than comfort doesn't mean you should be tryhard or go from 0-100 with your flirting when you're just starting, and often it's more about your delivery and the overall flow of conversation, but thinking that the main issue is just generating bare social receptivity is a misunderstanding of the process.

Now if you're an attractive guy with decent social skills you can very likely get some decent early results even while being "safe" over enough volume, you'll be fine. Just do more approaches, ideally 20-50 a week for a while to start learning and seeing patterns and get over the initial learning curve, and then over time you can layer on being more flirtatious and impactful.

If you can't reasonably do that much then you need to do approach anxiety drills and work on your in-field stamina.

Fundamentally you have to accept you're learning a new skillset and your OLD success won't transfer automatically.

Alert_Door_2531 · 2026-07-24T22:36:53+00:00

Numbers game. I gave up dating apps, if you think about the time you put into it to get a good date, it’s a lot of time, way more than in person. You just need to take as many shots as you can and improve your approaches over time.

It is also true I never matched someone who I was 100% attracted to on apps as those will have 10k + likes and choose someone more attractive but with less personality than me, where IRL would have done the opposite.

Jason__Hardon · 2026-07-25T08:06:10+00:00

Dating apps are trash. 🚮 leave em' where they belong

nerdstudent · 2026-07-25T10:26:57+00:00

good banned for abs no reason and i’m screwed lmao. fuk these monopolists

Title	Im struggling without hinge
Author	Throwaway1920214
Upvotes	17
Comments	39
Date	July 24, 2026 5:23 PM UTC (1 day ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1v5huko/im_struggling_without_hinge/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-struggling-without-hinge.1585776 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585776

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