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[–]Daunt02 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Lol stop thinking it's a shit test. This is just a girl's crappy pick up game. She's into you she's just waiting for you to say it. You're kind of leaning into simp mode with the whole I think about you a lot thing. She feels it and she wants you to say it. Just start saying it.
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
But why is that a funny question? Why would she say that lol
[–]Daunt02 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
For real stop trying to analyze chick speak. It purposely doesn't make sense. The subtext I'm reading is that she wanted validation that you "think about her alot", aka is attracted to her. She got a little bit of confirmation of it. That's it. If you like her make a move. It doesn't matter.
[–]BottleNo6762 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I love her, so I should tell her straight, that I want a relationship with her? (It is my first time dating a women, i have no experience with that)
[–]Daunt02 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Oh... bro... this is only the second date with her? You need a lot more experience. No wonder she asked that question. She can smell that you like her a lot and you haven't said anything. No don't say you want to have a relationship with her. Have you even held her hand or kissed her? Take it slow bro and stop objectifying her. Escalate smoothly and hang out more times. You barely know the girl. You're putting pent up expectations on her.
Just say you like her and hold her hand. Stop thinking about it and putting energy into the idea of her.
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah just 2 Dates, but we hung out before 3-4 times...
Poorly, we have a long-distance relationship, due to corona things got hard, first because of my studies and second, she lives far away. I didn't make her clear, that I'm into her, how would she understand that? She tests me a lot, but respect my boundaries. She also cares for me asked me if everything is ok, when i act differently.. No kissing, i believe it is to early for that
[–]Daunt02 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How would she understand that you're into her? By saying it.
You haven't said it?
Then she doesn't understand.
You're already saying you want a relationship with her and love her but kissing is to early. You need to get out of this Disney romance you got going on in your head..
Are you under the age of 18?
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think women should get to know Men much better by using their time. I told her, that I want to get to know her better. I could be the wrong Person for her, that's why I take it slowly. She also told me, that she is scared to get her heartbroken and I don't want to be the one. I feel responsible here.
(I meant I would tell her, that I can imagine a relationship with her and that I would give it a try, if she feels the same)
We both are 22, no judging...
[–]Daunt02 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think it's weird that you're saying you love her and want a relationship with her when you haven't told her anything. That's dishonest and it's making you have an unrealistic expectation of her because you also know that it's dishonest. You should have told her you liked her the moment you felt it.
If you really wanted to take it slow and get to know her you wouldn't be telling a bunch of strangers that you love her. Start being honest with her. Its the only way it's going to work.
[–]IcarusBane1 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You’re validating her too much, I think about you a lot? Come on guy you can do better
[–]The_Sir_Galahad 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Her love language is words of affirmation, she was looking for your approval.
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
So i should have had approve her?
[–]The_Sir_Galahad 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Keep it fun and playful, but usually you do enough to keep her around. It's a good sign when a woman is looking for validation from you.
How often should i hang out with her? like how often in a week?
[–]The_Sir_Galahad 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
That's a question only you can answer.
Seduction and attraction is pretty much the hardest part. The meat of a relationship is much easier, but it will vary so much what is and isn't appropriate from person to person.
I usually message when I have time, and in terms of spending time with someone...if I really like them after a few weeks I'll spend multiple days with them a week.
I liked one girl so much I basically stayed with her 3 or 4 nights a week.
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
thank you for your contribution and what do you think about just meeting her whenever I want to? Wouldnt be that bad? I have a lot to do, but sometimes not, so it can vary that I start hanging out with her after 1-2weeks.
[–]The_Sir_Galahad 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Just ease into it. I don't know your communication habits, but keep it calm, don't over text (it's annoying) and just let it happen naturally.
You seem very eager to spend time with this girl lol. Just text her once or twice a day, if you are both doing nothing that day tell her to come over or something, watch a movie if one of you has your own place.
Just temper the excitement just a little bit, and don't try to act cool like in your post. You'll end up confusing her, and she might even just get tired of that shit and leave. Just be chill.
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Where did I act cool, which post do you mean? And what do you mean with cool- cold? lol
I have exams this and next week and during this time I message with no one. Should I let her know? One problem is also, that she is an introvert, hence I have to initiate the conversation first.
I'm not eager lol just don't want to ruin anything since it is my first time with women, better be prepared, rather then face the problems and being unprepared - my thoughts
By the way i think as she said, it was a funny question with did you think about me sounds really like a shit test. What do you think? Because it doesn't make sense, that a female is into you after just 2 times hanging out. There is also a study, that shows women need months to fall in love, whereas men fall in love in just couple of days!
[–]The_Sir_Galahad 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Acting cool is a colloquial term in America for acting calm and not letting yourself get a rise out of any external influences.
If I'm not mistakened, are you the OP of this post? Whoever the OP was, was acting like a try hard and trying to play a game when the girl asked a straightforward question. Dodging the question, it's just not cool. The best girls don't play games, or try to mind fuck you.
You say you're not eager, but you are...if you weren't eager you wouldn't care to lose her at all, and you've also said this is your first time with a woman...it's ok to be nervous and eager. If you're not, then you're not human lol.
Stop over thinking it, it doesn't matter how many times you have hung out with their girl, if she's attracted she's attracted to you. There is no limit to how fast a girl can fall in love or how fast they can be attracted to you.
You have really no idea about Human Nature. I'm saying that as a Psychology student. I did everything right, wish you the best
[–]The_Sir_Galahad1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Nice, I have my bachelor's in psychology.
I'm going for my masters right now, will be finished next summer in my masters program. Hopefully I'll be getting my doctorate in another 3 years.
Good luck to you.
[–]bandsupjay 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
She asked you that because she was looking for validation. A lot of girls do this after dates, you just have to avoid the question and not validate her
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thats what i did, but why is everyone saying here the opposite? That i just should tell her
[–]bandsupjay 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They dont know female nature
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL, I have no idea what to believe now, but I thought the same as you..
[–]MrNobody___ -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nope.
I don't really believe in shit tests, because it's mostly just shit communication or she is stabilishing boundaries.
But there is other kind of test called: Confort Tests - and those are about her. "Do you think about me?" "Am I pretty?" "Do you love me?"
Humans need validation.
[–]kettlebell_workout 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
No it was not a test.
She is into you and wants to know if you are on the same level.
Are you sure? We had just 1 Date before, why would she expect that I open up my feelings to her on a 2 Date?
[–]kettlebell_workout 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the precise reason why she wants to know.
She likes you. And she knows that. But because it was just one date she does not want to come off as "desperate". So, that's why she asks this question. To test the waters.
[–]eyesopen1111 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, I agree that she's into you, but it's weird that you don't recognize what's happening with her. The signs would be all over her face and behavior. Is she not attractive to you? I'm thinking that if she were a 10, you would have noticed that she's into you.
As far as Game, she is chasing you, so you have enough value. It's time to pretty much stop the game-playing/teasing/value displays and time to start qualifying her good points so that she feels comfortable enough with you to escalate to handholding, kissing and sex.
As i said its my first time, i recognized it, but was unsure if it was genuine, because she ones also talked to other men as we hung out
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[–]Daunt02 6 points7 points8 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Daunt02 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 -1 points0 points1 point (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Daunt02 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Daunt02 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Daunt02 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IcarusBane1 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]The_Sir_Galahad 2 points3 points4 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]The_Sir_Galahad 0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]The_Sir_Galahad 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]The_Sir_Galahad 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]The_Sir_Galahad 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]The_Sir_Galahad1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]bandsupjay 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]bandsupjay 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrNobody___ -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kettlebell_workout 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kettlebell_workout 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]eyesopen1111 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BottleNo6762 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link