This feels ridiculous to ask but I've just managed to articulate this confusion in my own head. Let's see if I can get it into text now.

So I just got out of a LTR of >5 years and figured I'd give dating apps a go. Amazingly, I managed 3 dates in the first 3 days, 2 of them escalating to sex at the end.

Happy as I am about that success (after so long faithfully with one person, who knows if I had any game left in me?!?) I feel like I care just too much about all three of these women and I've temporarily stopped using the apps till I work this out.

It feels like I'm going through 24hr windows of a LTR where I'm hooked on the previous person until I go on a date with the next, if that makes sense. Even the one I didn't sleep with, I woke up thinking about the next morning.

It's not something I'll talk about with friends. Seddit, is this me still recovering from a LTR, is it simply a human trait that others hide well or am I simply doing it wrong?

For context, I'm moving state next week and I'm open about this right from my profile so we both know a relationship isn't possible.

As an example of these feelings and the actions they bring about, both women that I've slept with have stayed the night for spooning, repeated sex and genuinely enjoying each other's company then breakfast the next day. Both have txt me a couple of hours later expressing similar feelings:

  • "I hope you don't mind that I stayed. I felt so comfortable and totally relaxed, thanks for being so amazing. Let's do it again before you go"

  • "it's been a long time since I felt so comfortable and cared for, can I see you again Friday?"

I guess I'm just a genuinely caring guy but don't know how to work with that for casual things. I know I don't have to stop caring about people but right now I feel like every date is the start of the next LTR but it's not because that's what I'm consciously trying to achieve, it's just the actions that I take because I care . I'm no beta but I like them to feel special, you know? It's a fine line.

Granted I'm working with just 3 examples here so it could be coincidence but either way I need to shake these feelings or at least learn to better accept them.

Also, this is not some sad attempt at a humble brag. This is a guy confused by what's going on and looking for some outside help to figure this out.

As a side note, it's also nice to know that what I learned from this community all those years ago has stuck with me. I was quietly impressed with my own performance and felt like a much better version of myself. For that, I thank you seddit.