Is it ok to not necessarily be comfortable yourself with having sex on the first date?

texranger47 · 2022-10-27T02:38:09+00:00

Permission not to fuck granted

UnifiedField9000 · 2022-10-27T03:01:37+00:00

It’s totally ok man. I was the same but forced myself to do that and eventually became “that guy” who tried to get sex right away every time. And often it worked. And I would end up disliking myself, and them, after the encounter. I realize that’s a fucked up view, but it is what it is. This is after years though, keep in mind. For the first few years I just felt like the man. So it may be like that for you.

So I often go a bit slower now. I escalate to the point where there is attraction but it tide over a couple of dates at least lol

I’m 28, for reference. And started pickup around your age

Puzzled_Nail_1962 · 2022-10-27T08:24:16+00:00

You're 19. Don't worry about it. You'll get more comfortable as you get more experience going on dates or maybe you don't and that's also ok. Nothing wrong with wanting a girlfriend over often mindless hookups.

The important thing is that you do what you want, not what some random dude on the internet tells you to. And no offense to anyone, but the kind of girl that expects you to make a move on the first date is often not exactly girlfriend material in the first place.

epimpstyle · 2022-10-27T09:46:04+00:00

If it is too easy... something is bad (wrong).

devilkingx2 · 2022-10-27T09:53:19+00:00

Having sex on the first date is so rare that you basically don't have to worry about it unless you exclusively do night game or are really really attractive.

However if the opportunity ever arises you should always take it, it's like winning the lottery.

OppsGetGot · 2022-10-27T10:31:25+00:00

No bro you gotta do it for the boys

SnackBaby · 2022-10-27T11:25:07+00:00

I don’t think this is trivial at all. We are constantly bombarded with the idea that an ONS is the criteria for what a successful social encounter looks like as men, and to not achieve this means you’re beta. This is an unreasonably high bar.

The part of the conversation around sex thats missing is that it exposes us to so many hazards. I believe this is why higher rates of promiscuity are inversely correlated with education rates. As with any other kind of well-being, people don’t keep up with it. They don’t get tested or exercise caution. There’s the financial and temporal hazard of pregnancy.

Between getting a permanent disease or chaining yourself to a demon with a child you’ll be financially responsible for 18 years, there are plenty of valid reasons to not wanna get it on with a stranger. Masculine achievement should not be a factor in your decision-making.

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-10-27T11:45:39+00:00

Yea it's ok, but most of us know that if she ain't fucking you, she fuckin elsewhere

tikkikinky · 2022-10-27T12:49:07+00:00

You have to be true to yourself. If she is pushing for sex on the first date and won’t see you again because you won’t put out then consider yourself lucky. You probably dodged a bullet there. You want long term and not to be just another notch on her bedpost and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Icy_Rub1839 · 2022-10-28T10:32:51+00:00

Just go and have fun on the date.

Alternatively you could meet her for a first date and see if you like her. You could then invite her to yours for the second or third.

Kalajanne1 · 2022-10-28T18:21:28+00:00

Do you feel comfortable based on hours spent together or on how many different occasions you've met?

If you had a 10 hour date, would that make you more comfortable than 3 dates, each lasting 2 hours (6 hours in total)?

Title	Is it ok to not necessarily be comfortable yourself with having sex on the first date?
Author	random-wander
Upvotes	19
Comments	18
Date	October 27, 2022 2:28 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/yeg3bq/is_it_ok_to_not_necessarily_be_comfortable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-ok-to-not-necessarily-be-comfortable.1247636 https://theredarchive.com/post/1247636

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