Is there a compiled list of comments/posts to help me stop being a bitch?

tysquirt · 2019-11-21T00:55:07+00:00

Literally just accept that you, her, and everyone else who has ever encountered you ever will be dead within roughly 70 years and absolutely nothing whatsoever matters. Then approach her, get her number, and have a good time getting to know her.

vergil_never_cry · 2019-11-21T00:56:40+00:00

Lol tbh no amount of lists, advices, videos will fundamentally help you here. I used to be like you, reading/watching all sorts of materials out there but not taking a single action. And then one day I had enough of myself and decided to go approach.

It’s super hard, going from 0 to 1, but there is no shortcut. You have to do it,and just enjoy the ride. My first approach was horrible but I always smile when I looked back at it.

2019-11-21T02:43:28+00:00

Just admit to her that you were nervous about approaching her but here you are. Then ask her what’s her name, tell her yours and then you’re good to go. This is not High School. No one is going to judge you for being nervous. Don’t be afraid to piss your pants man. Shit happens to the best of us.

Atriev · 2019-11-21T03:28:09+00:00

This was the idea that made it all click for me:

If someone rejects me, that’s fine. HOWEVER, I WILL NOT REJECT MYSELF. If I find a girl pretty and I want to talk to her, I will go. And if I fuck up, I will be proud of myself for going in.

kalz44 · 2019-11-21T00:59:22+00:00

Just do it. You literally have nothing to lose.

anonymous478569 · 2019-11-21T02:20:38+00:00

No it isnt. Just do it. You wanna know what is a bitch, not being able to pay your rent because you didnt sell the fucking alarm at the fucking door.

Oh and just like another dude said.. you both will die one day so go at it. And dont be a jerk about it. I was a jerk about it and got kicked out of my frat.

smoothmax · 2019-11-21T16:08:56+00:00

Nothing works on "just one girl" except sometimes, just being yourself lol.

Even if an expert PUA gave you a master list of conversational or mood-setting tricks, if you try to use them on just one girl that you have an obsessive crush on, you'll fuck it up.

Being needy for just one girl is a turn-off and no amount of pretending to be a confident ladies' man is going to fool her.

HangingHillary3333 · 2019-11-21T14:13:00+00:00

there's no negative consequences to trying

it's risk vs reward except there's no risk, only reward

so just fucking DO IT

there's no other advice and spending time doing anything other than doing it including reading pua garbage on reddit will fuck you up

simply remain confident and act like a man, don't listen to people who say "uhh admit ur nervous bro" because she'll fucking laugh in your face or slowly cringe away

omega_constant · 2019-11-21T06:51:38+00:00

OK, I'm going to give away the crown jewels on this subject (I'm just in one of those moods)... you won't find this in any pick-up book and it's not really about pick-up anyway, it's about dealing flexibly with social situations in general.

1) Always have a pretext. Pretext is any superficial reason for initiating polite contact with a stranger. In certain cultures, there are ready-made pretexts available to pretty much everybody in pretty much all social contexts. An example is the common pretext of tea in Britain -- inviting somebody to tea is (or was, not sure if it's still that way in 2019) sufficiently commonplace and innocent that nobody really thinks twice about it. Asking somebody what time it is used to be a common social pretext (feels a little forced in the smartphone-era). Weather, traffic, feel-good news stories (somebody's puppy got rescued or whatever), innocent jokes... these are all pretexts for initiating conversation with strangers. It is possible to generate pretext in a way that is not creeping. For example, leaving your sunglasses behind in your seat, then passing back when you "remember" them. This can give you a pretext to face someone whose back is otherwise turned away from you. Even if the individual you want to approach will never see that you fetched your sunglasses, the real purpose of the pretext is for yourself. You are hacking your brain to stop feeling that that you're being weird or awkward in the simple act of talking to somebody. The key to pretexts is to realize that it's just an ice-breaker... don't over-think it, it's just a superficially plausible way to break past the "Do I know you?" reaction that is the default response when a stranger approaches you for no reason.

2) Always be ready for YES. A lot of times, it feels like rejection is hard to handle. What's even harder to handle is that awkward moment when you ask her whether she's available, she says, "Yes," and you draw a blank as to what to say next. All those approaches, all that time, all that energy... you finally got to Yes, and now you have no idea what to say next. Use the rule of three (a marketing concept) -- high, medium, low... large, mid-size, compact... etc, and have approximately three options at hand (ready at any time). If she's responding along the lines, "I'm so glad you talked to me, I'm bored out of my frickin mind right now, wanna do something!?", then pick the large-size... ask her to a movie, to a dinner-date... hell, if she's excited enough, ask her back to your place to chill. If her response is moderate, choose something non-committal... hang at the mall, go to an arcade, and so on. If her response is cool or you're just not sure what level of interest she has in you (that is, she's doing a good job concealing her feelings), then ask her to tea, coffee, walk along the park, etc. Your flexibility to handle YES will give you better confidence in approaching in the first place because you know you're ready for any reasonably likely outcome. As with point 1, this point isn't really specific just to pick-up, it's about any social interaction, especially with a stranger.

3) Get social interaction across a broad spectrum of people. This is probably the most important point since you will naturally learn 1&2 anyway if you have this one. Interacting with women you are not interested in dating (for example, women who are in the mom/grandma age-range relative to yourself) is a great way to get less nervous around women in general. And hanging out with people of all ages, genders, races, etc. is even better. Unfortunately, the default stratification of social interactions (school, work, age-appropriate friends, etc.) is a huge barrier to this. So, you have to do something outside the norm like volunteer, join a hobby meetup, and so on. It's OK to do these things specifically for the social interaction. The Toastmasters non-profit exists specifically for the purpose of creating a generic context in which people from every background can practice public speaking in front of strangers, without the social or economic risks that come with this in other contexts like job or school.

4) Practice openness. This is a key reflection principle of points 1&2. If you are not open to being approached, if you would never say yes to anybody approaching you under any condition for anything, then you are projecting that closed-ness into your aura and it will show. It will make other people want to be closed to you. Practicing openness won't get the clamshells to open up to you... but it will resonate with others who are also open and they will reflect your openness back to you. If you are closed off, then there is nothing for them to reflect back to you, and so you won't get the response you were looking for.

Title	Is there a compiled list of comments/posts to help me stop being a bitch?
Author	opper-hombre1
Upvotes	11
Comments	15
Date	November 21, 2019 12:41 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dzb6b9/is_there_a_compiled_list_of_commentsposts_to_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-there-a-compiled-list-of-commentsposts-to-help.1484309 https://theredarchive.com/post/1484309

Comments