Following good advice, I've been working on my appearance for nearly a year now. I started working out frequently, kick started a yoga addiction, and bought an all new wardrobe (none of it fit anymore anyway). Also have a new hair style, paying $$ for a cut really makes a difference - female friends were honestly impressed by the difference it made in my appearance. It has felt great, my confidence is substantially up, and I'm starting to get attention.

But I seem to be running into a problem. I've had feedback from several women, when asked, who told me they initially thought I might not be straight. They are basing this entirely off of my wardrobe, my hair, and my body language (they have nothing else initially to go off of). I tend to come off fairly European / metro now, which I feel is my personal style and I'm comfortable with it (e.g. I will wear a lavender Banana Republic collared / fitted shirt out, dark wash jeans, clay in hair).

Some of these women are into the men who just aren't my personality type. Their guys aren't into education, they aren't interested in international travel, seeing the world... they are happy drinking beer and partying 24/7, living with their girlfriends while not holding a job.

I've also had a marked uptick in the approaches made on me by gay guys. Maybe once a month now I get hit on by guys (who are much more obvious about it than the women I'm pursuing, let me tell you).

Still, other women have told me I came off straight, and that they love my look (I've slept with a few of these women now). So the style works for some women...

I guess I'm wondering whether my assertiveness / aggressiveness / clarity of sexual interest, in my initial interaction, might be a big factor in how these women bin me? Maybe I was more assertive / teasing / sexual in my initial interaction with the women who slept with me? While for the ones who wondered if I was gay I was more reserved? Am I "blowing myself out" by not being assertive enough, combined with my personal style?

Quote from a girl (who had a boyfriend) two weeks ago: "Your personality is a 10, and you are attractive. But the girl is going to be wondering if you are gay, so you'll drop to a 5!" She proceeded to role-play pickup with me, had me change up how I was sitting and asked me to come onto her strongly.

I do need to be more assertive, that I know. Most the women I've slept with the last six months have been meeting me at least half way (I set up logistics, I stay in proximity and escalate to some degree, but they tend to complete the f-close themselves once I get them isolated). Do you think my new style / clothing / body & lack of assertiveness is making women confused about my orientation?

Or is it common for the Euro styled men to have some subset of women mis-read them?

TL;DR; I like my new style, new body. But some women (before I open them) are unsure of my sexual orientation. Am I not being assertive enough in my early interaction? Or is this common for men with a certain style preference (lots of Banana Republic, comfort with wearing less masculine colors, clay in my hair)?