want to share abit about myself and what I'm learning aswell my 1st ever cold approach. big read, no TLDR sorry.

33 year old male, separated from my ex wife after 11 years jan 2021, divorced early 2022. during early stages of separation i thought my life was over, have 3 kids and living at my parents house i was the dictionary definition of a dead beat and my ex in my eyes was the best i could ever do.

spent the best part of 2021 wallowing and beating my meat multiple times a day. due to lockdowns etc had minimal interactions with females and didn't really dabble in OLD to much. towards dec 21, i sorta snapped out of my self pity and decided to just be happier i guess you could say.

2 days before NYE 22 downloaded tinder and got a few matches due to the new user boost, matched with a chick not far from my house, went on a date and the next day caught up again and did the dead, struggled to acctualy do anything because of my severe porn consumption so I decided to eliminate porn, within a few weeks was back and better then ever.

this girl was head over for me, and within a month i knew it wasn't going to work so i pulled the pin, although she would still contact me here and there. which got me thinking, what is it about me thats so special.

from jan to jun 22 went on 6 dates all from OLD and all 6 women would have married me, it made me realise that it acctualy wasn't me, but the calibre of dudes out there.

i will say a few things. i was an absolute fuck head of a husband, im shocked my ex stuck around for so long, early on in my separation I figured out just how bad i was and undertook the steps to become self aware, worked on who i was as a person and how to acctualy treat women with the respect they deserve etc.

this may not work for everyone but i will credit 2 things, 1stly fuck off all the porn and wanking, i may not be perfect in this and will still slip here and there, but its not needed so why do it, 2ndly i heavily invested in stoicism, again its not for everyone but the fundamentals of it really helped me understand who I was and to expect nothing from anyone while still trying to be a good person, and as the great Marcus Aurelius said, "the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts"

so going back to the 6 women who were head over heals for me, it wasn't because im 6ft tall, rich with muscles etc, its just because i was a decent bloke which is fucking rare these days.

So not long ago i came across this sub and its being a massive eye opener, due to my own stupidity from deleting and re downloading tinder so many times, im all but shadow banned lol, and really its the worst app so in the last few weeks i have being geeing my self up to start cold approaches aswell as reading advice and what not from others on here.

so today i walked into a hair salon to pick up some toner, (decided to dye my hair grey because I really dont give a fuck how others perceive me) and this hottie at the counter looks up and smiles, i walk over and explain that i need something to get my hair a few shades greyer and shes like, follow me.

we walk over to the toners and she grabs one and hands it to me, our hands touched and it felt intentional from her part, anyways were talking and she compliments my hair and says being a silver fox is sexy etc, so we walk back to the counter, in my head im like, bro you gota attempt something, todays the day so while their, she said she had to finnish one things and she will scan my item, she then proceeds to say that she would love to see the outcome, Boom there it is.

i say to easy, give me your number and we can grab a drink, she was alittle shocked and then said she doesn't drink, I said well i had coffee in mind anyways, at this point and im not sure how i was super calm and composed and she was smiling, she then for what ever reason kept on making the funniest of fuck ups, she couldn't scan the toner, had to get another worker to help her, she says, look what you've done to me while smiling, her friend helps and leaves, i pay for the item and she was that shy i guess you could say she forgot to hand me the toner, I said excuse me, the toner, and she turns and puts it in a bag and continues with how sorry she is shes just not used to a guy being so upfront etc, I said hey its all good, have a great day and walked off.

while i didn't get any digits i walked out with shoulders back and head high feeling proud that i got the guts to take a shot when it opened,

im still not able to read into it fully but what i learnt today is its not difficult at all, i guess you could say she was alittle flirtatious with me and i tried while being in a fun flirty mood myself, i got no sign of coming off as a creep and she appreciated the attention and got super shy,(btw she would have being late 20's) what i did learn is that in this day and age while women have all the attention online, they are starved for it in real life.

while im new to all this im gona say to the people out there who are hesitant themselves, take the shot be respectful and fun and no matter the outcome dont over analysis it and keep your head up kings.

sorry for the long read bros, just wanted to share.