I've never done cold approach pickup.

crbiker · 2013-10-20T16:39:40+00:00

Fellow Highschool Junior here, before this summer started I was in the same boat as you, I'd never approached a girl in my life. I went to a local amuesment park nearly daily and slowly picked up the steam, one day I cold approached one... the next day two.. the next day three.. picking up the pace and setting new goals every day, I am SO GLAD I did. Man it's like how I would assume gaining vision after being blind would be like, your outlook on social situations, girls, and people in general just completely changes for the better.

You don't need tips at all. You as a public high-school student have witnessed thousands of conversations and hours of social interraction, you don't need cheesy pickup lines, you don't need an opener, you don't need pre-prepared jokes or topics of discussion, you don't need super depth into PUA or hyper-sensitivity to girl's emotions and the situation. What you need is confidence in your own ability to talk off the top of your head, a thick skin for failure, and a cellphone. Us public high-school guys have it quite easy when we transition, whether you conciously know it or not: You know what makes a girl cry, happy, glad, mad, sad, bad, rad, fad, pad etc. You've seen it a million times, you've been exposed to these consequential emotions and their initiators time and time again. Heck, you don't even need to know exactly what to do to spark a particular emotion. You just have to have the confidence that you know how to, and all will be okay(a hard concept to convey but you'll see what I mean once you start gaining confidence in your approaches).

Wait until you create a relationship that you initiated by sheer confidence and cold approaching. It's a completely different thing, a complete night and day difference. You have so much more respect, leverage, and value because girls know you're a confident active guy who doesn't take shit and can find another easily. The difference in how the girls I approached at the amusement park treated me when we met again and how the girls at my school who took the initiative and approached me first treat me is just crazy to wrap my mind around. Your value goes up tenfold just because the girl knows that she's replaceable and she wants to stick around. An interesting thing I've found interesting or funny that I used to have when watching people cold approach is "did she actually text him after he gave her his phone number?" and the answer is oh fuck yes. Just the fact that you had the balls to approach her and didn't give a fuck about the outcome alone puts you on the top of her priority list, regardless of how attractive you are or what you have to offer. Remember, ALL of us highschoolers, including girls are insecure as fuck(oh man, the stories I have about girls' spaghetti falling out of their pockets LOL). We all internally have no clue whether we're attractive or not, our only clue is what other people tell us, which depending on the day and if the person is on the hater-aide, varies significantly. It would totally take you for surprise how many girls our age are insecure to the point where they will completely drop eye contact and look straight to the ground if you look them in the eyes.

My personal "tips", if I HAD to give them would be to consider alcohol/drugs for a light 'buzz' your first couple of times out just to ease how nervous you are and to take it slow(Use discretion if you choose this route). There's no downside to approaching 30 girls your first day all sober, it's just unlikely unless you are extremely confident. Like I said when I first started I'd never actually manned up and approached the girl first, so it was much more difficult to find the confidence to approach girls. My second tip would be to find another individual with similar goals and ambition to learn. Looking back, I'd probably have learned and got comfortable twice as fast had I just had a friend who wasn't as big of a bitch as I was to push me into sets and reduce downtime(although riding roller-coasters inbetween sets wasn't the worst thing in the world). My third tip would be to lower your standards because experience is key in getting the big ones and you need all the practice you can get. Sorry for the massive text-wall, I always get excited when I find like-minded people my age.

Assuming you're of average appearance (I'm personally nothing special at 5'8 and a 7-8/10, can link you a photo if you're that interested) the only girls who will flat out reject you is the girls putting on a show for their friends or girls who already have boyfriends. Do not by any means take these girls seriously, and what they have to say personally. They're vain and are just trying to raise their social status at your expense, avoid these girls like the plague.

Edit: Found out you live in Cinci too, You should come to fear fest one night and cold approach with me before it gets to be too cold outside.

bl1y · 2013-10-20T15:30:53+00:00

Are you going to college after you graduate? If so, you're in for a lot more social circle game, you just have to be quick to jump into the circles (and you want more than one) as soon as you get there.

The biggest difference between cold approaching and social circle game is your intention. With social circles, you're open to just having new friends, you bring in guys and girls, anyone who is enjoyable to be around, and their romantic/sexual prospects aren't the immediate priority.

With cold approaches, you're there to find a partner (for whatever sort of relationship you're going for, ONS, LTR, fling, whatever). The sooner you accept your purpose, the sooner you'll be able to internalize all the concepts and techniques.

Biggest two mistakes guys make is showing too much interest, or not enough interest. With too much interest, you're telling the girl "You're cute, and that's enough for me to want to hook up with you. Your personality is irrelevant and this requires no effort from you at all." See how that can be a turn off for girls? You're objectifying them, and showing you're desperate and lacking standards. On the other end, if you show no interest, girls will see you as asexual. That's the friendzone. Your attitude should be "I want to get to know what you're like because I find you physically attractive, and if I like your personality and you like mine then we can see where things go."

Mertwented · 2013-10-21T13:31:47+00:00

In your mind cold approaching is much scarier than social circle game, as you are putting yourself out there to strangers.

Let's analyze this however. Cold approaching is a set of miniature encounters with a high failure to success ratio, however the nature of it means that you can move on to someone new within mere minutes meaning on an average night you can speak to as many girls as you want to and you can go out as many nights as you want to, which means you can potentially have 100's of encounters with women every month.

Not compare that to social circle game, sure you can meet friends through friends but that is more time consuming, you will have to maneuver more delicately to avoid embarrassment in your social circle. Actually having female friends will be sparse (usually < 20) so you'll be down to relying on friends of friends to gain encounters, which will still be low.

However social circle game does have one advantage, the success rate is higher. So I would advise doing both as you then get sheer numbers in cold approaching and a success rate in social circle game.

jspliff1 · 2013-10-20T19:00:13+00:00

Now's a good time to start.

You can still stay close with your social circle but you should always be expanding.

Cold approach is a lot of fun, each experience has something new and interesting to offer. Start off by simply saying hello or asking for the time, then work to actually holding a conversation to getting numbers, etc.

Social circle game is all reliant on your position in the group/ the girl's value in your circle. Cold approach is more in the moment, less preconceived notions.

Hope this helps, have fun!

Title	I've never done cold approach pickup.
Author	SingAlong_Original
Upvotes	16
Comments	12
Date	October 20, 2013 2:25 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ou3mk/ive_never_done_cold_approach_pickup/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/ive-never-done-cold-approach-pickup.1360223 https://theredarchive.com/post/1360223

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