I've realised that my main problems are having an awkward vibe and lack of conversational skills. Best ways to fix both of these things?

dieswole · 2015-05-03T12:13:17+00:00

Always be talking to people, and take every opportunity to engage in social activities. At the end of the day, socialising is something which needs to be practiced. Also, do things to push your comfort zones and allow you to chill out and be disinhibited. Things that have helped me are (aside from cold approach day game and night game - no substitute imo) improv classes, public speaking classes/groups, dance classes (individual, partnered - mix it up) and similar things which may seem uncomfortable to you at first. I also plan to do stand up comedy at some point.

Its all about building character and being at ease with yourself. It takes time, but its possible

caesarfecit · 2015-05-03T14:57:06+00:00

Meditate and hang out with friends more. When it comes to trying to hone in a good vibe, be like Hank Moody. He's provocative without being a complete asshole, and funny without being tryhard. As a result, when he goes serious or poignant, it has extra punch.

hpboy · 2015-05-03T12:09:02+00:00

Conversation skills are like speaking a language. Practice helps to improve it. Speak as much as you can and go out every day.

recyclablebantha · 2015-05-03T12:58:01+00:00

It's helpful to have your attention focused on the moment and the people around you. When people are talking, you cannot be thinking about what you want to say.... you should only be listening fully. (Then think of your response, once they have finished their sentence.)

BogartSmartSev · 2015-05-03T15:12:42+00:00

Practice. Willingness to change. Observation. Goals

theCHAMPdotcom · 2015-05-03T15:07:00+00:00

Jokes, ask questions and get the other person talking, then tease them about light hearted things they talked about previously.

TheRedditorist · 2015-05-03T20:59:44+00:00

A good conversationist can talk about himself, but a great conversationist has the other person talking about them. Learn how to listen. Talking is easy, everyone does it but few know how to make others feel like they matter - and that only happens when a person feels listened to. Learn to be sincerely curious about people, what makes them do what they do? How do they see the world? Then the pressure gets lifted off of you (from having to think of interesting things to say) to having the person talk about what they find interesting. Take the path of least resistance and greatest results, my friend.

Bacore · 2015-05-04T00:26:26+00:00

Read. Reading what some of the best writers have written does several things... it gives you a certain level of confidence in speaking because you begin to sound like them. It also gives you lots of interesting things to talk about, It takes time and effort to read, most people don't do either but expect a simple, easy solution instead,

Catch11 · 2015-05-03T22:38:53+00:00

Workout, meditate, socialize. Nofap will help too.

lejohanofNWC · 2015-05-04T07:18:52+00:00

An easy solution that works great for me is just asking questions. Don't worry about asking somewhat obvious questions, just let the lady talk, look her in the eyes, and smile. Within a few minutes you have probably found things you have in common, gotten a good sense of who you're talking to, and probably something you can tease her about.

I also like doing this because as someone who does a lot better one on one it will tend to pull you apart from a group. I'm just beginning to learn this myself, so maybe it is flawed in a way I don't know about. I enjoy it regardless of it's effectiveness, though, as I really just enjoy listening to people talk about stuff they care about.

Wolfshirt_Wednesday · 2015-05-03T20:28:23+00:00

I used to be afraid of coming off as awkward until I started to intentionally do thing a that were awkward. If you happen to act awkwardly unintentionally, just follow it up with a smile as if you meant to do it. Helps if you're naturally a pretty goofy guy like me too. One of my favorite things to do is greet people I know like a super shy kid who's out of his house for the first time in years. Averting eye-contact, awkward handshake/fist-bump, mumbling/stuttering voice. Follow this up with some actual conversation though so people don't actually think you're like this though. That's kind of important

Title	I've realised that my main problems are having an awkward vibe and lack of conversational skills. Best ways to fix both of these things?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	57
Comments	16
Date	May 3, 2015 10:18 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/34pfm4/ive_realised_that_my_main_problems_are_having_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/ive-realised-that-my-main-problems-are-having-an.1387619 https://theredarchive.com/post/1387619

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