Just deleted facebook

Bogey_Kingston · 2015-07-01T16:17:34+00:00

I'm just a guy at a computer, but I went through a big transition a few years ago, thanks to this sub and maybe I can give a kick in the ass. Here's a reveling moment I'll share:

Before one of my daily jog/workouts I literally stood in my bathroom, leaned into the mirror and looked into my own eye balls asking myself "What don't you like about me? What is wrong with me, and how can I make it better?"

After that I went for a run and had this breakthrough moment (probably the serotonin) where I realized that I need to be a better son to my mom, better student at school, a harder worker at the job, a kinder stranger, a more considerate friend, and I need to call my grandma and tell her I love her.

So... That's kind of easy, right? I mean you can wallow in your own faults but actually changing them takes effort. I started by finding things I like about myself... Well, I've always been funny so instead of going to a bar alone and gulping down drinks to make it look like I'm here for a purpose other than not being at home, I'll just try to make some people laugh, no drinks this time. It was amazing... I failed and succeeded and failed again and just like talking to women (or people) not everyone is going to like you and that doesn't mean you're not likable. I had my favorite bar tender ask me once "What does it feel like when people don't laugh and it's just awkward?" I thought about it, and I said "I just assume they don't have a sense of humor, and I'm better off having them be weird and want to get away from me." And that's fine.

It snowballed into the gym, too. I always have headphones in, so conversations are really limited but I pushed myself to go and work out and talk to people. I still can't believe that 9 times out of 10 you can walk up to biggest, blackest, scariest looking dude at the gym and ask him what he does for shoulders and he will be the nicest dude ever, show you proper form and the muscles in the shoulder and everything. But some of the best advice I've gotten came from the most intimidating looking people who turned out to be big ole sweeties.

And that's what you have to keep in mind... You'll take the risk of not getting a laugh, you'll take a chance at someone being a jerk but when things go right it's amazing, and when they go wrong you realize "That was not my fault, I put myself out there and it didn't mesh, but I'm here and I'm trying and I am having fun." That's the important part. Enjoy yourself and have fun and you'll find yourself around some people who enjoy you, too.

One last thing... You called yourself a miserable shell... I know that fucking feeling. I hate it, I loathe it. I can feel it constantly creeping in on me like death itself, following me, carrying that sickle just waiting for me to drop my shoulders and give in so he can catch up and sink a cold blade into my back.. I won't do it, though. I'm too fast and I'm too proud and I've come way too fucking far to slow down. I have tried harder at improving myself than anything else I've ever done. I stuck to my guns, I found my place in the world and I'll die fighting before I let my own suffering and misery take it from me.

xDwolfx · 2015-07-01T14:21:28+00:00

Hey man, you go to the gym more than I do and deleted facebook, which I have been complaining I want to do for months, so cudos on that. Maybe you should talk to more people at the gym since you're there often, if nothing else you have exercise in common with everyone there. I know this isn't exactly advice but you probably have an idea already of what makes you happy, I would advise you do that. So yeah, hope you feel better, I mostly lurk but you aren't alone and just wanted to say so.

redditisawesomeinla · 2015-07-01T15:10:41+00:00

Join any interesting meetup group, reconnect with any old friends you have fond memories of, going for walks/hikes makes me feel good and start doing affirmations if you already don't (one form that works really well is to think of all the things you're thankful for and concentrate on each until you feel a feeling of thankfulness/gratitude). The universe will bring you more good things when you do this. Our thoughts manifest real things into our life (I used to think it was bogus but have experienced it in my own life and it rules).

Switchzor · 2015-07-01T20:23:38+00:00

Creating things works magic. Try some painting, drawing or programming. Or anything creative. Also reconnect with some friends. Go do stuff.

EndOfTheUniverse · 2015-07-01T22:45:36+00:00

Awesome.

Before you go out an approach new people, you need some social confidence.

Who can you hit up that you haven't seen in a while? Guy or girl. You'll be surprised at how warm people are at meeting someone they haven't seen in a few years.

Yoshi_vader · 2015-07-02T02:03:13+00:00

I deleted it 2 weeks ago. Feels good, man.

donf223 · 2015-07-02T05:05:32+00:00

I too deleted Facebook for different reasons (outstanding gambling debt). At this time in my life, I even got rid of my phone and left my parents home in Chicago (it was the 3rd year of college summer) and stayed at my friends place who lived by my campus in New York. Since it was summer, many of the people who attended school had vacated, or at least most of the friends / acquaintances I knew.

The friend I was staying with was an indoors man. Although I love him, he is not one who likes to go out and interact. As for myself, I love socializing, preferably with at least one other person, but this just was not the case.

I was forced to talk to new people, interact, and explore on my own. A phone and Facebook would have definitely helped for I did have some friends that were down there, but I had no way of hitting them up to hang out.

So... long story short, I ended up meeting new people, having sex with new girls, and even seeing some of my previous friends / acquaintances around.

Here's the part that was especially cool: Since I had no phone and no Facebook I honestly feel as though the girls I was seeing were more interested in me, possibly due to the fact that I was hard to reach and seemed to be everywhere. Really, the only way to get hold of me would be to contact my friend that I was staying with (no one knew him).

I later ended up staying over with a different guy who I recently met. To this day he is still one of my best friends and one of my wing-men. Although I would have to admit he is a bit better at the ladies than me, I learned a lot from him and he learned a lot from me. Thus, we would throw some cool parties and have some days where the two of us would have a few girls over and just watch baseball and drink.

Good times. Anyway, point is, one of the best times of my life, and most successful times at pickup came at a time when I had no phone, no Facebook, and essentially, no real home.

The lack of these will either force you to get out and explore / converse / socialize, or you will take the easy and comfortable path and just stay indoors without challenging yourself and without stepping out of your comfort zone. I recommend, instead, getting out there. Even if you fail, you will learn a lot for what to do when Summer ends and when school starts. And if you are not in school, same thing, you get the picture.

I might add that once the summer ended, I entered the new year knowing many more people. I would run into people whom I had met over summer. My friend / acquaintance group dramatically expanded. Again, even if you fail, I can guarantee you that you will at least come out of the summer with new contacts and novel experiences to look back at. There is nothing wrong with failing. Nothing wrong at all. Don't be afraid of failure

litkin · 2015-07-02T05:45:36+00:00

Try volunteering my friend. There's an old saying "It's very hard to be sad when you're being useful to someone". I think it's good advice and if you have a particular trade or skill (or even just willing to lend your physical labor) it will be appreciated, you will likely meet new and interesting people and you'll get out of the house!

You go the gym regularly, perhaps you could go to your local community centre and see if they want someone to run a basic weights class for youths/beginners/unemployed. It might be as simple as putting up a sign up sheet on a noticeboard and seeing who turns up.

Good luck in your journey.

AntiModernFootball · 2015-07-01T15:19:02+00:00

I actually have the exact opposite problem. I have a great social life, but I'm kinda introverted and can't bring myself to get a Facebook (I think I really need it).

Title	Just deleted facebook
Author	myfutur3
Upvotes	49
Comments	21
Date	July 1, 2015 12:29 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3bqv9f/just_deleted_facebook/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/just-deleted-facebook.1390398 https://theredarchive.com/post/1390398

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