Kesia Noble on UK vs US differences

lobitaway01 · 2018-06-14T12:48:02+00:00

The American girl at 3:33 who is a bit of an anomaly in the US is the kind of reaction you get like 95% of the time in lots of Europe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzUa2cB61hU&t=268s&index=81&list=LLKMgbcu5bCspbXERXhCdeYQ

recyclablebanthas · 2018-06-14T15:39:01+00:00

TL;DW: Summary [Next time, you should be the one to make it, OP]

(Note: Not an endorsement or agreement with the content; my own reply will be coming separately.)

Differences

(as claimed by Kezia)

Americans: More socially confident, respect confidence, proactive, versus UK/Europe: More wary of displays of confidence. More likely to consider confidence to be arrogance. More likely to assume that talking to strangers would be a bother.
UK/Europe: More cliquish, especially in places like Essex & Chelsea, versus US: Less cliquish.
France, particularly Paris = More guarded and cliquish.
US = Girls are nicer in general so guys get a false sense of security about how well they're doing, forget to escalate and escalation is harder comparatively. Versus Europe = Once you've gotten past a more awkward intro, escalation is easier.
US = More competition; girls being approached, often off of others' rejections, versus UK, Europe = Less competition; girls standing around not being approached. Girl rejects one guy, no one else as likely to try.
UK/Europe = Huge drinking culture; People start approaching more after getting really drunk/blitzed, versus US = More approaching even before blitzed.

5 Principles

(....Principles that Kezia says cut through cultural differences and allow one to game regardless of whether they're in the US or Europe*)*

Possessing an unapologetic nature with regard to who you are and what you're about (your narrative).
Possessing a strong sense of reality (AKA, a strong frame) that doesn't bend to others.
Congruence
Abundance mindset.
Foresight to go beyond shallow connections, and the ability to make and cultivate long lasting connections.

lobitaway01 · 2018-06-14T11:23:55+00:00

As a brit, she is spot on! One of the first times I've heard a coach reference this (with the exception of an article by the coaches over at theattractionforums once who went in depth about the differences between gaming UK girls vs US girls. )

WIA20XX · 2018-06-14T11:45:33+00:00

Do most Brits look like that? Damn. Sign me up.

Most of the male run pickup companies say that Northern and Western Europe are more reserved, and less open to the cocky and confident style. Scandinavia in particular is supposed to be very anti the typical brash American style.

It is funny that Brits are reserved at home, but the absolute opposite abroad. They make the Australians blush.

I've never heard anything good about Italy, pickup wise.

FlockaTV · 2018-06-14T11:55:02+00:00

Yepp i live in northern scandinavia, trust me approaching girls up here like they do in america Will probably have you arrested or sent to a mental hospital or become mistaken for being drunk , up here People are painfully reserved and even just talking to someone you dont know outside is a big big no go, which is a bit boring imo.

twothirtythrower · 2018-06-14T19:49:10+00:00

It's a very different place socially.

I was actually just watching a completely unrelated youtube video where a Brit guy is in America and he's a competitive eater and goes around to restaurants eating loads of food, and he said ''I love it in America. Back in England, if someone sees me with lots of plates of food they treat me in a very hostile way and they are suspicious, but in America people are just so friendly and talkative and interested in what you are up too''.

It made me think about how different cold approach pickup is lol

recyclablebanthas · 2018-06-14T16:48:46+00:00

[Note: Maybe some of this applies to the UK. But as for other parts of Europe? Maybe not so much.]

1 (+ some actionable advice)

Americans: More socially confident, respect confidence, proactive, versus UK: More wary of displays of confidence. More likely to consider confidence to be arrogance. More likely to assume that talking to strangers would be a bother.

I can see a case for Americans are more socially confident as a generalization, at least a weak one.

However, I can compare the US, Asia, and Europe (Italy, Germany, France, Scandinavia, etc.).

And I saw a smidge of guardedness in smaller villages and the like, but two things helped make it so that this guardedness is largely not an issue:

Tip #1: Really tune into the moment; pay attention. A simple thing, but severely underrated. Information is power and so many people walk around in their own little worlds, throwing away good information that could be used to open and carry on interactions.
Tip #2: Do what you can to psych yourself up and go out with a good, curious, and open attitude, and enjoy yourself. Sounds cheesy, but assuming you're savvy to the people around you because you're implementing Tip #1, having a good attitude is quite an ice breaker, and good-natured enjoyment can be really contagious.

[Note: And in the European cities of even a few hundred thousand people or more, initial guardedness is even less.]

I traveled alone much of the time and had no issues interacting with strangers, being taken in by groups, etc. If anything, people often seemed friendlier in Europe, overall.

2

UK: More cliquish, especially in places like Essex & Chelsea, versus US: Less cliquish.

Can't speak directly to the UK, though everyone I've met from there has been really out-going and I find it hard to believe the UK could be more closed off than Asia. But we'll call it a push since OP was saying that people all just change when they leave the UK.

As for the the rest of Europe that I directly experienced, they're really just as cliquish as anywhere else. No more or less "difficult" to crack into.

3

France, particularly Paris = More guarded and cliquish.

One theory I tend to place more credence in, is that it's less about the place being difficult, and more about where the guys are from, who are trying to pick-up.

James Marshall, a coach who does a lot of workshops for men around the world, has observed that guys from the UK or countries that have been colonized by the UK, tend to have the most problems learning pick-up. This covers the US, UK, Australia, etc. And I can see the validity in that. A lot of that Puritanical and Protestant culture just didn't translate into a culture that passed on decent instincts in pick-up.

In fact, it's ironic that Kezia pegged places like Brazil and France as being "difficult," because those places tend to be places where game is far more likely to be "natural."

To illustrate this "natural game" aspect of France, he related a story about how some Frenchman cold opened a girl he was talking to on the phone, pushing his way into the phone box to basically ask her out. Which sounds awkward to us, perhaps. But to hear him speak of it (and he was on the phone with her when it happened), it went down smoothly.

So this is why French girls might seem more "guarded" guys from other places; they're used to approaches that are often more daring, confident, smooth, persistent at times, etc. When I was in France, holy shit was it a contrast to places like Asia or the US: eye contact up the wazoo. Just walking down the street is often this intimate experience with a bunch of strangers. At least if you're tuned in.

People in France have their friends and cliques, but if you're having a good time and paying attention, they'll let you in. I remember one group in France I was walking past, were really horsing around hard, and I couldn't help but laugh out-loud as I walked by. One of them responded by trying to tickle me in the side. Complete strangers!

So this business of France being "more difficult" or whatever, is subjective.

4

US = Girls are nicer in general so guys get a false sense of security about how well they're doing, forget to escalate and escalation is harder comparatively. Versus Europe = Once you've gotten past a more awkward intro, escalation is easier.

I just wasn't seeing major differences between Europe. I felt like Europe is better in many ways. People live healthier (read generally fitter and take better care of their bodies).

And there are people in Europe and the US that were more or less easy to escalate with.

5

US = More competition; girls being approached, often off of others' rejections, versus UK, Europe = Less competition; girls standing around not being approached. Girl rejects one guy, no one else as likely to try.

UK = Huge drinking culture; People start approaching more after getting really drunk/blitzed, versus US = More approaching even before blitzed.

Funny that she should mention the "approaching after getting blitzed" thing as being a European thing.

I've seen that in the US, Asia and Europe. As for whether it's more before or after getting drunk, it seems more prevalent in the US and VERY prevalent in Asia, more than Europe.

And as for the competition thing, it doesn't really matter. Guys get hung up on how many other guys are "competing" with them, but it's not about the other guys: it's about whether she's down. And if she is, it won't really matter if other guys are around. If she's down, she'll become a partner in crime and will do much of the work to shut them down for you and be working with you to make stuff happen.

6

5 Principles

(....Principles that Kezia says cut through cultural differences and allow one to game regardless of whether they're in the US or Europe)

Possessing an unapologetic nature with regard to who you are.....

....a strong frame....

Congruence

Abundance mindset.

....the ability to make and cultivate long lasting connections.

I mean these are good things. The first four are pretty much fundamental.

The fifth one doesn't seem necessarily required, right off. But I can see the case for it, under the assumption that being capable of maintaining relationships is important, if only for friendships and social circles, regardless of whether one is pursuing casual or serious relationships.

Though she doesn't really get into how to build these up, there's plenty to read up on with regard to that.

Title	Kesia Noble on UK vs US differences
Author	secrecypuzzle
Upvotes	3
Comments	24
Date	June 14, 2018 11:10 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8r0zmr/kesia_noble_on_uk_vs_us_differences/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/kesia-noble-on-uk-vs-us-differences.1448187 https://theredarchive.com/post/1448187

Comments

TL;DW: Summary [Next time, you should be the one to make it, OP]