Hey Seddit,

Introduction

This advice is for people with slight approach anxiety who feel unsure about themselves in conversations. It is not a cure, at all, that comes with practice. This is nothing more than a reflection of what makes a conversation, and your seduction, successful.

I believe the philosophy that all humans are human is lovely. However, males and females are genetically different. With that said, being able to engage in meaningful conversation is crucial to your own well-being.

I learned the value of conversation from a relationship with a lesbian turned pansexual. Honestly, this relationship's story is crazy in-and-of-itself (I'll post if requested) and not this post's purpose.

Anyways, she is the most seductive person I know and can score anyone she wants. She's a shark, and better at "fishing" than we me. I witnessed several straight girls go bi because of her. We used to discuss seduction a lot, and I'm going to share what she taught me about conversation.

The relationship between outer bond and inner bond

  • The importance of smiling and eye contact:

Be excited by every conversation, there's always something to learn. Showing you're interested is crucial: keep your eyes locked and know how to smile accordingly. The right smile depends on understanding your inner and outer game. Be aware of how you feel to what is being said and showcase that emotion using your eyes and your smile.

This is powerful. By properly responding to a woman you assert yourself as a figure in her life. To do this, be sincere. Sincerity allows a woman to trust you. Her trusting you leads to her to opening up. This more vulnerable state makes attraction easier - whatever your goal may be.

  • The importance of verbal communication:

Conversations are a nothing but a conglomerate of pushes and pulls, the proper reaction is valuable. Intro seddit guides advocate the value of confident speech. Know how to speak before trying to talk. Speaking is easy, talking requires thought and analysis. My ex showed me talking advice. That's what's posted here.

Talking well is one of the most valuable skills a man can learn. It allows you to get what you want, when you want it, and is a skill that takes time and practice to develop.

If you haven't seen "This is Water" by David Foster Wallace, do it. He introduces the thought that every human is valuable. I remember this in conversation. Thus, no matter how bored I am, I try to stay optimistic that I'll learn something.

Things to consider while conversing

There are three things to remember:

  • Tone
  • Diction
  • Syntax

Your tone indicates your self awareness. Remember, you are the prize. Thus, don't let anything they, or anyone else says, breed uncertainty in your voice. Speak with conviction and curiosity. In poetry, tone is a poem's attitude. By mastering tone you can control the conversations emotion.

Your diction alludes to further self awareness. Diction depends on your understanding of metaphors - most importantly, double entendres. You must avoid banal platitudes and speak honestly and concisely. By mastering diction you can be aware of a words true intent.

Syntax is dependent on how aware you are of what your intentions are. It is dependent on sentence length and construction. Short sentences leads to more pauses which builds up tension. Longer sentences are used to relieve tension. By mastering syntax you can control a conversation's flow.

But Slutty_squid what does all this mean and how can I master them?

The purpose of this is to understand the make-up of "great chemistry." Great conversations are what allows great chemistry. They make shared laughs louder, romantic moments sweeter, and sad moments bitterer. Simply being aware why is important. Mastering these things takes time and awareness.

The aforementioned girlfriend always knew what she was saying. She understood the emotion and value behind her words. This let to her many successes.

Bringing this all together and sealing the deal

I will analyze the tone, diction, and syntax in two examples and explain why they are successful: one example will be a day approach, the other will be talking to someone one on one.

  • Example 1: A woman sitting in the park reading.

At some point you noticed she glances at you. Throughout this conversation, show nothing but kindness and sincerity. I believe you should only approach someone your genuinely interested in, therefore be genuine. Further, maintain eye contact and smile accordingly.

You: "hey, what are you reading?" Your tone should indicate that you're interested in the book, not her.

Her: she'll talk about the books author, what its about, etc... keep the conversation here.

You: "Oh cool, ask something else about the book, its author, why she's reading it, whatever." You should speak slowly with long sentences. Your diction should demonstrate that you appreciate the literature.

You're discussing her book. This is crucial, it's not about her. She lowers her guard. As the conversation continues your diction and tone should continue to express your interest in the book. If you don't care about the book, talk about the park, the day, anything that's not directly about her.

After the conversations continued for a few minutes, give her a compliment out of the blue. Your tone should shift completely. You're talking slower and your words are about her. It doesn't matter what it is, either. The more far removed from the book, the better. Her eyes are usually the best bet. After this compliment, ask her for her number and tell her you have to leave but would love to continue discussing the book (or whatever the conversation was about). Every time I've done this, I've been successful at getting her number and scoring a date. Sometimes it let to more than that.

Synopsis: You approached her discussing something indirect about her. Your tone indicates clear interest in said "thing" and your syntax creates the opportunity for long answers. This allows her to let her guard down. Change your tone and diction to demonstrate interest in her, give her a compliment and ask for her number. Tell her you'd enjoyed the conversation and would like to talk more.

I've avoided talking about the physical side about this encounter because it's irrelevant to this posts purpose. However, shake her hand when you introduce yourself, grab the book when you're talking to her, have your mind wide around the park bench. There are a myriad of posts about what to do physically.

  • Example 2: One on one conversation.

Note: I will address this topic in much more detail in a future date, if requested.

This is an impossible topic to address. A conversation can take many shapes and sizes. However, I can discuss how you say what you say affects the conversation.

I learned that one must approach all interactions believing they are valuable. How you speak with someone should demonstrate this. Your tone must allude to your interest in what she is saying. When you talk about personal accomplishments do so with pride, not bravado. If you talk about her success, be excited for what she's done, not condescending. All of this seems obvious, but we don't recognize we do it in conversation.

Your diction must be related to what the topic is, obviously. However, you should not forget to be clever with your wordage. Add phrases in there that stick with her and allow the conversation to branch off. If you're talking about theatre, mention that she looks like a character but you just can't remember who. If it's music, mention you like someone and think they will too - then later, you can bring it up on your phone. There's something alluring to women about someone that listen. It makes them know you are there for them. All of this is related to syntax, too. The flow of the conversation should be determined by you and the topic, not by her. It lets her know you're in charge. If you think the conversation is boring, say it's boring and ask her a random question. Things like this come with practice.

How you speak says more about yourself than how you present yourself. This conversation is only happening because you already know how to present yourself.

Conclusion

Being able to hold a meaningful conversation takes practice. From my ex, I learned things to observe how I speak. This allows me to manipulate the conversation. aforementioned subject. I guarantee being aware of how you sound and how your words come across make it exponentially easier to enjoy human interaction.

Later I'll post advice on how to practice conversation from the perspective of beating approach anxiety.

The art of conversation is one that this subreddit doesn't discuss enough. I don't know how good of a job I did, but I know that I will try to post more after my vacation. It's a cruise, so I'll have plenty of opportunities to create stories.

Final words

Conversations are bonds. Honesty allows these bonds to grow. All successful field reports share the development of this bond. Being aware of what makes up that bond, and how it came to be in the first place, is crucial for advancing any relationship.