I've been fat for most of my life. I'd always liked girls, but I'm pretty sure a girl had never really been physically attracted to me. Never had a girlfriend.

About a year ago, I began to work out and eat better. As a result of consistency, I was able to improve myself a good amount. It's enough that people I've known for a while but haven't seen in a bit don't recognise me, going as far as to ask for my name as if it's the first time they've met me. This did a lot for my confidence, but that old mentality was always in my mind, seeping into every move I made. I was never sure if I was attractive enough to get a girl.

With the last 4 girls I've gone for, I've been trying to implement many of the mentalities that are frequently discussed in this forum, but I never really thought a girl would like me. I always asked them if they were physically attracted to me, because I felt like there was a good chance they wouldn't be and that I was just annoying them with my ugliness.

Granted, many girls have been interested in me in the last year. Along with this, many of my friends say no matter what the reason for my inability to get a girl is, it cannot be about my looks. I think I'm a good looking guy. I would fuck me. But for some reason, when I start talking to a girl I like, I begin to doubt whether they're physically attracted to me at all. It's such a needy thing I hadn't even realised I did until now.

I was talking to a girl I was about to give up on. I had been talking to her for like a week and she knew that I liked her, but she didn't really seem fazed by it. She was acting as if nothing was going on and I was convinced it was just because she didn't think I was good looking enough. I mentioned to her that although I was into her, I understand she doesn't really feel the same way about me but I would like to continue being friends because she's a really cool person I see often.

She told me she knew I liked her, but she's the kind of person that needs to get to know someone before becoming more then friends. It had only been a week and I already expected this girl to be all over me, and when she wasn't I emmediatly assumed it was because I was too ugly for her.

I agreed with her and she said we should hangout. Sure, this might not lead to anything, but this is a common problem I've been having with the last couple of girls I've been talking to, and I think I finally understand it. There are other factors besides looks that matter just as much or more to girls, and I can't expect a girl to jump my bones just because I show her I like her.

Has anyone else gone had to go through the process of focusing less on your own looks? I'd like to hear about what your experience was like and what you did to overcome that mentality.

tl;dr: Used to think looks were the largest factor when it comes to attraction, conversation with a girl opened my eyes in a way.